Monday, January 05, 2015

My non-resolutions

When I was growing up, my last 2 hours of the year was spent inside our EFKS church, head bowed, thinking and willing myself to do better, be better and excel in the year ahead. I set myself these mental goals: Do well in school, get a boyfriend (jokes), get a boyfriend without my brother and uncle and mom knowing (not a joke),  be nice, be kind to others, help others, go places, do well, make my granma proud and do well. 
Then, we as a congregation would hug each other and be very civil  and promise to be better people.
By mid January, that sense of betterness slowly seeps into bitterness.
Friendliness becomes angriness and and and...ah well, you know, reality hits. 
Our sense of renewal and hope and change evaporates as the months bear on us - or rather, me.

And so I lost faith in such things as resolutions and setting goals in a one off silently praying posit. 
I needed to have my goals set ALL the time and not when egged on or facing the quilt trip stare of my mother.

Fast forward to today and I am grateful that I've achieved everything I needed to achieve when I was 17.
I have a family that loves me (most of the time haha) and a family I love (most of the time), everything else is an added bonus, yay.

So while I didn't bow my head in contemplation on NYE, I have spent the last few days reassessing my ongoing goals:

- I want to continue spending more time with my family, especially my babies. But I need to do more to make this happen. 
- I will continue to drink wine in moderation, but I accept that every now and then, I will over indulge and fall off my seat or hug a toilet at some point this year
- I will do my best to be good to people and see the good in people, even in trying times, because being mean is not good for my complexion.
- I will continue to laugh and be a clown and surround myself around the great people who are in my life now - because each one has contributed to my wellbeing, my sanity and also my insanity. Thank You. Sometimes. 
- I will continue to try and think before I speak. Because as my epld, uni and pilot colleagues will attest to, I fail at this spectacularly. In front of people.  My thoughts are excellent and the stuff of a Nobel Prize, but when the words fall out -  oi aue. 

And Lastly, here is my usual advice for you all, because I am full of brilliant advice which I personally don't follow:

1. Don't take advice from people. Like me. 
2. Smile, smile, treat others as you'd want them to treat you. 
3. Get off social media every now and then and live a little. a lot. 
4. Be happy in the skin you're in, and celebrate the small victories. We are constantly bombarded with images and stories of brilliance and shallow 'beauty' and wealth, yet - all around us is - beauty. Be grateful for what we have. 
6. And lastly, for the women, be real with your expectations, it is now very very unlikely that you'll wake up with Channing Tatum between your shapely legs while you gaze up at a pohutukawa tree or to the men, to have Megan Fox wake up you wearing only her jandals and a tray of pancakes, corned beef and whipped cream. But - that's why I leave you with my last priceless tip: Keep dreaming.

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