Friday, March 28, 2014

My pay it forward, and backwards moment this morning:


-Getting to work and forgetting my access into the building parking, so having to park downstairs (where the homeless peeps hang out/sleep) and I wasn't too worried - same crew, so I asked the old dude with the trolley , "bro, can you look out for my car, I need to get access into building, I'll be back in 2"(minor detail, I was parking in a no parking zone).
And he was like "Huh? Me? oh, okay miss, will do"....and in the back of my head i'm thinking...
mo'fokker.....don't you steal my car. I know where you sleep.
- Got to my floor, borrowed access card, made my ol' buddy a coffee and went down to give it to him.
Got down, 3 more homies are hanging round, so I handed grandpa his coffee and the others were like, 
"oh, just one? we'll look after your car every morning if you give us coffee!"
I thanked them, parked and then made 3 more coffees and took it down. 
They were stoked but I told them 
"Don't get used to it - I'm only nice to people on Fridays" 

and then suddenly, I looked at my watch at it is 10:01am.

oh I fucken love Fridays. 




Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Emergency Announcement.


Does anyone have a puletasi I can borrow? Please???
I am chairing something next Monday and my wardrobe is looking sad. Please message me if you have any at jtiatia@gmail.com (nothing too bright and frilly thanks), but please note, I may adjust it when I get it, and may also not return it. Haha. But seriously, help a poor coconut out. Fanks.

PS: I'll give you 2 cans of pisupo and a bottle of 42 Below if you do lend me your puletasi.




Tuesday, March 25, 2014

E le o se makai akoa ae o le fasi makai

I got summoned into a meeting na valaauina e tagata e iinei, e tofu o i latu ma suafa matai.
E fa'alagilagi lava o latou suafa i mea fai. 
"Oka se manaia" o nai o'u manatu nei.

Traffic was bad, ma ou te taunuu atu ua 5 minute e te'a ai le taimi sa tatau ai ona matou feiloa'i.

O'u fai atu loa lea, "Ia, e fa'amalie atu i lua Afioga ona ua fai sina tuai mai, makua'i le fetaui lava tonu ma faiga a le auala. O a mai lena itu".

*Blink* *Blink* *Awkward silence* *Blink Blink* ---Do you want a cup of tea?

Le iloa fa'asamoa. 

O la'u talosaga mo outou uma na o lo'o fa'alagilagi ma sisi solo o outou suafa matai:

"Taumafai ona a'o le gagana......aua le kaulamua i le "I am a chief and I am holier than thou, bow to me" ae le iloa pu le guku.

There are no excuses. Sa'o ai Agasi'i and to borrow from his analogy, instead of a whole pusi, o le fasi pusi - and in this case, o le fasi makai le mea sole.  


Monday, March 24, 2014

Ending Violence in Samoa Roundtable.


Please join UN Women as we welcome Lemalu Sina Retzlaff to discuss her pesonal experiences with domestic violence and what are some of the key contributing factors to gender based violence in Samoa. All are welcome! 12pm on Wednesday March, 26th in the FAO Conference Room at UN Compound, Matautu. 
Please contact Mele Mauala for further information.




Post a selfie campaign,.

Latest craze on facebook is 
Post a no make-up selfie - to support survivors of cancer rarara.


Here's mine: 


That's right....and I'm tagging nobody because getting a selfie done ain't going to do much.

Instead, donate to CureKids, Samoa Cancer Foundation, go volunteer at your local Hospice, help someone in reality if you can, go relieve a parent of their work, or go give some cool gifts to Ronald Macdonald House or drop in at the hospital and crack a joke or simply....DO SOMETHING MEANINGFUL.

NOT a selfie. 

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Sports people; have a plan!

It is important for aspiring and great rugby players (or sports people) to stay in school and get a qualification, because when 'you' get injured or worse (lose all your money), then you have very little to rely on but your past glories.....and as we saw in recent months, that too is fleeting. 


GET A QUALIFICATION, If you don't achieve UE, there are pathway programmes that you can do in only 4 months to get you into degree study...you can also do short courses on business management, financial literacy (important in helping you manage your finances). 
There are also apprenticeships, diplomas in your other areas of interest, ...in fact, plenty options. 


Inga The Winger is the latest of sports people to go bankrupt, then we have David Tua (millions all goneski) --- and many many more.

All brilliant on the field, but all didn't have a plan B if (and when) things go wrong. 


An example of a rugby player who studied and played rugby is former All Black/Hurricanes Namulauulu Alama Ieremia, who has a degree from Victoria University. He is now the Assistant coach of the Hurricanes.  He has options. Because he planned. 
Plan Ahead people!!!


" Tuigamala said he lacked professional skills when he retired from rugby in 2002, and had to learn through painful errors.
"Someone sold me a lie that you will be successful in your business because you were a successful rugby player," he said.
"I've learned that that is not the case.
"You might have all the passion and desire but you don't have the right set of skills. I had to go back and learn that over the years."

Friday, March 14, 2014

E moe ma manu ae sau mala e atia'e.

As I sit here - awaiting a so-called storm, all around me is deafening silence, calm, peace.
Not a leaf stirs,... and the usual sounds of nature are asleep too.
It reminds me of the proverb, E momoe ma manu ae sau mala e atia'e.
We sleep with blessings but trouble or grief will soon surround us, it will awaken us (my own interpretation).

Like the grief we share with our loved ones in Seattle who have lost their beloved father/husband/grandfather,
Leota Tupa'i Viliamu Tiatia, son of Tiatia Lokeni Aloaina and Faleasiu Liki.
Brother of Vaasiliifiti Moelagi, Rev. Liki and Malu Satuu.
Uncle, Cousin, Church leader, Comedian, former Police Officer, Comedian and more.

Leota will be remembered as the quietest but the wittiest, funniest and most kindred of spirits.
In the absence of our own dad who left this life too soon, he was one of the people who were there to be our protector, comedian, storyteller.
His children, were simply, our siblings.

How I wish this was just a bad dream, and that we will wake up from it, 
but I am now choosing to wake up with the knowledge that he made our lives more full, we did wake up with blessings all these years, enabled by his love for his family, his positive nature, his ability to make people laugh in the most saddest of situations. (Eg his eulogy for his mom at Lalomalava).
He did leave us with those blessings, and we see in his children and grandchilden.

Lalovi, Diana, Lokeni, Liki, Warren - if only we could share your pain. I have no words of comfort. I cannot imagine your grief. This is so overwhelming. We love you.

I will miss you Apa,

Alofaaga e le uma,
Fotu

Uncle Apa's favourtie niece (no doubt, this statement will be heavily contested:)




Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Mangere Drive Thru today:

Sweet, natural, cheap and cheerful.

i'm a chiefs fan, through and throoough

the Waikato runs through these veins. uh huh. (auuuu, ...le mea gei a faakoa kauguu mai i Giu Sila agagafi! hah - IS WHAT YOU"RE SAY'IN, hah!)

But every time is see the new uniform:
I think of a female uterus:


....hmmm, yeah nah, it ain't funny. 

so I'm sticking with my old jersey thanks 


Pasifika Festival 2014 Feedback (or rather - the Goddess Analysis

ok, i do this festival every year - initially as a visitor (with my old friend kagia and alesi), then as a dancer, then for several years working for my institution, but now - i do it to make some moolah.

This year was good for sales. Sales for the Goddess A-

Entertainment wise at Samoa Village? really really average. there were some good performances like Cindy of Samoa and perhaps Tattau Dance (but I have seen their performances over and over - so they would be fun for new audiences) - much of the rest was singing groups - either religious or really inappropriately sung by a 16 year old and the lyrics are like
"bring to me - uh uh -yeah - all night loooong
Yeah I will give it to you uh uh ohhhh
and we can shake like uh uh ahhhhh (then some ohhhing ahhhing and i feel like blocking the ears of the kids)"
So - Entertainment: Overall Mark? C-

Food stalls: I found my usual favourites. Like pork bun at 8am and a huge plate with taro/chicken/curry/chop suey/2 pieces of thoroughly bbq'd chicken: A+ 
                 
Craft stalls: Best craft stall set up: House of Decor by Lautofa Tanielu A+
Other stalls that were amazing where the elei and puletasi makers from Samoa, quality this years was brilliant. 

Samoa Village Location: Samoa was moved to the Western Springs Field this year, since Samoa is always the largest. This was good because it meant more space to move, but -----
-The biggest problem with this was: THE DUST. It felt like the Dust bowl of California ALL blimmin' Day.
There was dust on every surface, which scared me seeing how food was served and consumed throughout - Imagine the dust in that chop seuy! So because of the DUST, Location gets a C.

Stage
-The actual stage was under a tent with no natural light: And to view the stage performances, you have to move super close to the tent - and so the viewing was not ideal. Stage: D

Emcee Appropriateness
The emcee was NOT funny and he kept being rude with his dry jokes. He also screwed up the John Key and delegation introductions in the morning. We need to get mature professional emcees for these kind of events. People who have the intelligence to address the crowd throughout the day.
Eddie Taualapini was a funny but smart emcee in previous years - he also filled in the gaps where the performances were not happening.
F: Fink aboudit. 

Political Irritation Levels 
I'm introducing this for the first time as it is election year. 
On the following continuum of:
1: being:  Friggin irritating, get off the stage, this ain't about you. Electioneering to the point of desperation.
2: If I had magic, I would make you disappear. 
5: Okay - so you know this is a platform but you're being smart about it....covert, not too much, just right - ish
8: 
9: You wore a badge perhaps or came in your party colours, but you were ok.
10: Amazing, you showed up, you smiled and went about your business like another Kiwi and you don't need to scream for a photo op.  

I confidently seat the NZ First MP Lole at 1.
Why?
She hogged the mic at Samoa Village. She spoke after the National Government kava ceremony in Samoan and this is what she said: 

"My name is blah blah, I am the MP for ...., I am not here to do any politicking (ou te le'o tu atu e fai ni tala faapolokiki i luga nei, e pei o le auvaega lea na o atu nei)  No, not like those guys who just left the stage, no, I am here because I care about you people of Samoa. So please listen to my discussion on the radio tonight where i will be discussing ......(I switched off at this point because she was then outlining the issues she intended to discuss on her political platform)....that is GUERILLA MARKETING THAT SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED AT PASIFIKA FESTIVAL. ...she should be charged $5000NZD to use the stage to promote herself. So a resounding 1.

I was very impressed with the LABOUR MPS who did come round, they were very low key and people like Sua William are usually in Pacific events anyway, so he did not look out of place. 10.

Like Su'a, Peseta was also pretty low key and didn't make a song and dance about being there, however, he loses his place a little by association: to the large National entourage, so he settles for a 7.

John Key of course naturally should be a 1 but because he didn't speak much and was actually tolerable, he gets a 4, because he seems like a likable dude, ....of course, he is a prick in terms of his lack of empathy for education/equality for the poorest in NZ and for diversity - but he is a likable prick, so 4 it is.

Thank you for tuning in to your Pasifika Analysis 2014.



Wednesday wankiness

some fuckhead just tried to use my credit card details at a cheap hotel.
Kefe ia se.

omg my mouf! I sound like an angry psycho lawyer! hahah.


In other news, Polyfest is this week and I just happen to be working in the are right during the best performance at Cook Island and Samoa Stage.

Oh what a coincidence!

Much like the coincidence where i run into Miss LB this arvo for lunch. 

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

worst time to be in Otahuhu

..is when school is just about to break out, when big island mommas drive very very slowly towards the gate and park on 'no parking lanes' - in the big square people movers.
And when they illegal stop in the middle of the drive and hog it like a boossss, you know in your heart they are in the wrong but the look that momma gives you says "I'm gonna crush you with my pinkie and snack on you for afternoon tea" ...so back your small piece of shit University GPSed car onto the curb and inch your way out. Like a coward.
Big mommas totally own this crib!

Monday, March 10, 2014

Pani & Pani and the search for Mr Lavalava Ep 10

Thursday, March 06, 2014

Le eseesega la lega

Funny how two different media outlets report the news.....one with pretty much nothing much to report because no one is telling anything and because it doesn't have an insider source....and then this one:

Lagi Keresoma, totally got her sources sussed. 
Seki a!

Wednesday, March 05, 2014

e le olaga e

My multiple personalities:  

 On Linkedin: "Very much looking forward to positive change in 2014"

Instragram: 



In real life: Oh, Hi! Yes everything is fantastic. Wonderful. Yes - feel free to ask me any time if you have questions.


Blogger: I FUCKEN HATE MY JOB TODAY. KEFE IA SE.


Tuesday, March 04, 2014

Nothing gives me more joy that seeing corrupt politicians get served.

make ai. 
sao ai le kala foi lele, ...erryfang happens for a dollar.
its just amazing how mean bad people can try and fool others but at the end of the day, e ke fiu lava e ke pepelo, e maua lava oe. 
Amene