I mentioned this a few months ago,that I had rediscovered my diaries from my teenager era.
Boy oh boy, ...you are in for a friggin' treat as I am going to share some of the pages on this blog.
I was a bit of a diary-maniac and I wrote far too much detail in those pages (ahem - much like what I do in this blog, come to think of it, hah!).
I will omit/change names though, and some stuff that are not suitable for your virginal eyes, dear reader ----auuu, isa! otherwise, I won't change any of the sentences I put here, I also realise I wasn't a fan of punctuation as a teenager. I did also swear a lot in my writing. Sorry.
In the end, I just feel blessed that I made it through my teenage years - I had so many chances to errr, fuck it up real bad. And boy, did I try!
SO...may I use this opportunity to apologize to everyone who I knew as a teenager? It is clear that I was a little bit...errr, what's the word: a wee bit mental.
...and I am still not cured.
January 14th (Lech, Austria)
"Went to Zurs with Megoo. Heard that a Finnish man died from falling 20 meters down Ruikopf. Poor man but what an idiot for going off the track. Sun is down. Hard to see properly but in the end we made it and I only fell once. Then walked to Bianca Hotel. Dressed, got picked up by Megoo ate with everyone. then he drove us back but we asked him to please spin the car thing. he could only do 180, because no ice on the road. Then we went to the Police Station and had some really strong schnapps. We all got drunk but who cares, the only Police officer in the area is supplying the alcohol. I'm gonna miss this place, SHIT. I don't wanna leave!"
" Wrote a letter to Jeremy in Sydney and Aunty Evo. Listening to cd "Tribute to Diana" very nice soothing music. Aikae ia oukou o loo faikauiga la'u diary. don't fucken read my diary Relle, Mega anyone else!"
Reading "Promises" by Catherine Gaskin" about World War 1 sad, moving but too fantasising, dreamy, too heroic, needs some action, some reality!
Mom called she's at a village meeting. Watched news. Pope visits Cuba! Talk about odds meeting. Fidel Castro is still in power. The dick!
January 22nd, Linz, Austria
I felt so burdened with fear coz I was responsible for both of us (me and my little cousin aged 7 at the time) getting to Samoa, especially through Frankfurt, Hell it was huge! Just imagine if I dont go the right way. and get lost in Europe, I will die!
January 23rd, Los Angeles
Ate pizza, went to pick up R, P and J from school. Wow - their schools are huge. they dont look like schools at all from outside. at night, we went to aoga pese, cleaned the falesa for the kofiga kaeao. drove home, watched tv
21 March: Upolu Samoa
Walked to market with Lauina, home, swam at the pool, worked at the bar, at night Cindy and her guests were drinking for ages, so i was stuck at the bar till late. SHit. I went to gauta but the lights were out and everyone was asleep so i couldn't even pack to go back to apia tomorrow.
Granma is doing good. She's healthy I really love her and i can't bear the thought of not seeing her No WAY! Fa'alii called to ask how we are and i said that were well and he yelled "Ua kou maguia oga o kalosaga a le loomakua.' He wants me to bring some taro and stuff tomorrow.
If I don't make it to New Zealand at the end of the year, then I'll consider being an air hostess, FUCK! What am I saying? Of course I will make it! Stupid! Wanna make it to Meg's sstandards and make her proud. S borrowed my Bravo CD and still not returned. Asshole. THIS DIARY IS FUCKEN PRIVATE, IF YOURE READING IT, FUCK YOU. OH WELL, UNLESS ITS FOR AN URGENT REASON, LIKE WHY DID I DIE LAST NIGHT?
(omg, no comment but i have these angry outbursts on MANY of the pages)
March 22nd, Savaii, Samoa
Church was empty, walked home, changed, ate, hung around then said goodbye to Granma - shes blessed all of us and i told her not to worry, we are all okay and healthy because of her prayers. I love her. I hope I pass my exams so I want to make her happy. Amen. Got dropped off at wharf by AUnty ANna. S is spregnant again, she needs to stop having sex man. or like tie her tubes she is getting fined so often and shes still doing it. Got to Mulifagua and got a ride off Cindy and her friends. Simon picked me up and went home. I miss Savaii.
28 March, Upolu, Samoa
Sione hits Mele on the face at night and she was wailing. I was so fucken angry and I said, don't be a dumb bitch - leave that fucken loser. I'm so fucken angry I wish I had a gun to shoot his face off.
July 24th, Savaii, Samoa
"Granma Siu wants me to be called Feleita instead of Fotu, so as I have to answer her when she's calling "Feleita" Gosh!
And then she'd call out, "Fotu!" and I respond but she is scolding me, "You are not Fotu, you are Feleita!" haha
I love my granma!
And there you have it, a bit of an insight into a demented and very 'spethial' teenager's strange mind.
To be continued.