Tuesday, February 11, 2014

I rediscovered my diaries - oh. em. gooooch.

some things I realized after leafing through one of them:

- I was a little bit angry in my writing when I was a teenager.(and even now and then - hah) 
- I spent a lot of time back then on the phone (landline) talking to friends, talking nonsense, poor teenagers looking for sponsors. For example:
"Don called this afternoon and he asked, "what you are guys doing today?" and I said "nothing, we want to go to the beach but we have no money" then he said, "but i thought you guys got $20 yesterday" and i said, "yeah, but we spent it between school and the market so we hitched a ride from someone to go home" and then he hung up and said if we come up with any money, he and his family will be at the middle grandstand at Apia Park. After he hung up, I called the others and asked if we want to go. Thankfully, J got some money off her dad and we can now go. I fucken hate Kilisi for stealing my money. I hate being poor. fuck!"
....so many little conversations in these diaries!!!
-I write them knowing that there was never any privacy at Lalovaea because all the other people in the house would open it and read it, so every other page has messages like "If you are reading my diary, I hate your guts you loser, aikae"...omg, hahahah - so funny!(now)....and when I say everyone has read my diaries, I mean everyone, this was definitely possible because my sister Lagipoiva took them with her when she moved out, so anyone who visited her - would have also read it, because they were on her shelves~! strange looking at my brother in law and he sees right through me. hahah kefs.
-There are people in those diaries who are no longer here, but I cried reading through some of the memories of them alive. ): but happy memories though, happy because the stories reminded me of them as they were in their daily life, with death not even a thought.  
-some very pivotal events took place that changed my way of thinking - except, I didn't know it then.
They were unpleasant and sad but, now I look back and am thankful, it prepared me for ...life. (no, I'm not crying out for attention here my loves, not at all.
some of those events is why I'm a crazy beeetch today. ....oi aueka.
when i find time, I will type out one of my crazy real life stories that I wrote in that diary. You will be pissing yourself laughing, or perhaps going "aha! no wonder why e kau lusi nuts of le ulu i si keige"


1 comment:

Enid Westerlund said...

Haha..which is why I never kept diaries, preferred journals? It was such a chore writing about what I ate and how my day was, especially since we had to keep a journal in primary school. I wrote short stories instead that did not please the teacher at all! Sao la..no wonder the nuts keep falling off your bike :)