Friday, September 28, 2012

When a tree truly falls (in the Pacific)

A tree fell.
"When did that tree fall on the road?"
Several years ago.

Malaita, Solomons

Definitely one of the more memorable flights I've taken in moi young loife (:

I flew to Malaita and after this landing, I had a rethink about my life,
...I caught the boat back and I'm buying a lotto ticket today (:
That aside, I had a great time here because it was a refreshing cool green and welcoming haven after the dust of Honiara. I stayed in Auki, the 'centre' where trading, market and the trading center of the Island and surrounds.

There is one main hotel near the new market called Rarasu. I was supposed to stay here but due to island planning, I was not booked....but I had to come here for all meals. The restaurant is in the front and faces the lagoon islands.
In the evening, I look across the lagoon and see the lights flicker and noises of children and singing in a distance. I stand by the mangroves and felt so surreal being in this amazing place.
The restaurant is a project set up by the European Union and Rarasu owner. It is a basic large room, breakfast, lunch and dinner are always offered in 3 options...all very generous and lovely how there is abundance of local vegetables. Absolutely loved it here and reminded me that sometimes, eateries tend to focus on quantity of dishes, done poorly, but here, they do 3 options, perfectly.
Nuff said.

I stayed at Auki Motel, which is well fenced and I look into the Police Station across the road. All the occupants there: Ramsi officers from Australia,World Vision rep, VSA, Japanese engineers, Japanese etnobotanist, some Government Ministries and Save the Children consultant.
Wherever I went, I was presumed to be the 'Save the Children' consultant....nice try but no, I'm job i much less interesting, sorry.

Not far from Auki are the artificial islands....islands built with coral and then traditional homes are built atop on stilts (pardon the shallow descriptions). I met a woman there who owns one of the accommodation Serah Kei's Lagoon Hideaway ,but in typical slack island Goddess fashion, I forgot to charge my camera so I couldn't take plan is to go back and stay there. They are also part of the Langalanga Lagoon, experts in boat building and shell money...thus they are called 'the Factory' by the locals.

Beautiful place.

Early morning in Auki, the sun rises in the horizon and all is good in the world. Amen.

A 'loveheart' island, I took this photo for my Maeva, who LOVES anything loveheart-like.
As I waited for the boat to take me back to Honiara, people were carrying 'avegas' of pineapples, as Malaita is the home of the sweetest pineapples in the world. (or so I believe) and those boats go between Aiku and the Langa langa Lagoons where the artificial islands and shell money are made.  

Post Solomon Islands reflection

After the Solomon Islands, I reflect:

- Great friends who made things happen and fun and interesting - friends make life more tolerable, if only to just vent and reflect.
- Crayfish for $20
- Fresh coconuts, papayas, bananas
- Sweetest pineapples I've ever tasted, from Malaita
- Happy carefree young people who want to succeed, irrespective of the challenges.
- Learning about the journey of someone who came from the humblest of beginnings, succeeded and defied the odds. Wow!
- Being reminded that something as simple as talking to someone is a mammoth task for someone else.

- Being reminded that I take so so much for granted, therefore, coming back, I am suddenly reviewing my surroundings with renewed and refreshed, I have a computer that works, and wow - I have a job! and double wow - I am so so lucky!

- Seeing how people live in Auki, in their traditional homes, tending their gardens (because they are self-sufficient) and seeing children playing in the river with floating logs and sticks...they have no money but are content...suddenly I felt so selfish thinking about our mortgage and the need for a bigger house...I don't need that! (sorry Gui).

- Being away for the longest time and thinking about my children, and imagining holding my son's hand, where it is soft and pudgy and seeing him smile (in my head) before he headbutts me in the nose and my daughter reading her book to me in bed, and hearing her singing in my head. I missed them terribly, but Im back and holding them close, yes, I missed my babies!

- Ultimately, this trip humbled and reminded me that what i do is not about the numbers, it is about people and their lives and it has ripple effect on their communitites. I am able and I can do it. So help me God because I am about to max my budget.

Sunday, September 23, 2012


wow - its been a while since I have had restricted access to Internet...and couldn't convert pics on my usual program, so back to the 'old school', open photo in Paint, then stretch/skew and reduce image.
Then it can upload for 5 minutes instead of 30 in a normal size/

On the way to Malaita

 Ggella Passage by boat, first stop

Auki Air-"strip"

At Auki Township..those are like german buns, slightly more fefeu but yummmmmay!

Eating humble betelnut in Honiara

When I first got here, seeing the dusty town of Honiara reminded me of Salelologa back in the 80s (according to the videos I saw, yeah right hahah).
It was on the cusp of 'development' but not just there yet...the roads were hastily built and strange things were being constructed right before the General Elections....and then forgotten right after.
I was well prepared for this trip. All the Solis I know kept warning me, particularly about the betelnut spitting and all that jazzle.
I arrived on the morning William and Kate were leaving, so really, the town was considerably cleaner than usual....the hasitly laid pavement on Commonwealth street was still shinning new and intact (for a day)....and notices were all over forbidding betelnut.
Then, when the royals left, was back to business as usual.

Its strange how we in Samoa learn about World History, but that really means European History and very very little about our own backyard. I only truly understood the bloodied battles in Honiara in UPY...but seeing the map of Iron Bottom Sound was something else....and actually seeing the shipwrecks by the beach humbled me., 40 known battle ships and submarines sunk here, thousands of Japanese and Americans died right here ):

Suddenly, I was mad at myself....what the hell was I thinking, making comparisons and likening this place to Salelologa, where the only struggles have been who slept with whose wife and who ate the pagikekes from the sefe?

How wrong was I.
This place has witnessed a lot more and is still healing, 1942 is NOT that long ago and with that comes the political and economic struggles.

Yes, I have much to learn.

Humbled Goddess.

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

We are mean to our own

So I check into the hotel in Nadi and the young unsmiling receptionist quickly deals with me and send me along. I ask about Internt and she gives me the "oh fuck off look" and said "come later when the lady is here".
I return and hour later and she was like "what?"
I asked nicely, "Can I purchase an internet voucher please or do you have internet down here?"
She looks at me, unimpressed and walks off
a while later, another equally bored girl comes over
"Can I help you"
"Yes please, I was waiting for the internet, if its a voucher or if i can access it here, the other receptionist was going to get it"
"Nah, shes on her break"..and proceeds to type on her computer.
Now, I am fucked off and I ask her "Are you and your colleague always this rude to people or is it just me?"
She finally pays attention..."I want to see your supervisor NOW"
She puts on a wide smile and apologises, then the colleague pops out from the partition at the back and apologises too.
She said, "Oh, I thought you were Fijian"

wow - so its okay to be an asshole to your own?

I spoke to the Supervisor.

and FYI, dont ever stay at the hotel right across from Nadi Airport. I'm being diplomatic and not naming it, but its pretty obvious.

Suddenly Fijian Goddess.   

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Briscoes sale

We interrupt this broadcast with this message:

Briscoes has a 60% off sale on Manchester and bedding...yay'r....first time on tv sleeping on fabulous silky goodness that I normally don't look at coz I don't wanna lose my panties at the cost.

Thank you for listening,

Manchester sale Goddess. 

Friday, September 14, 2012

Pacific in New Zealand, Whose who?

I saw something on Su'a William Sio's FB page regarding Pacific language in NZ, I've copied it here and reduced the fonts because you might doze off after point c.

What is our way forward for Pacific langauge education in New Zealand?
From the evidence the community submitted to the Parliamentary inquiry into Pacific bilingual language education in early childhood education, I summed it up as follows (in no particular order) :-
a. Government should reinstate and continue funding of literature resources that it paused back in 2009;
b. That Pacific bilin...gual langauge education is strongly valued by Pacific parents/community;
c. Pacific language education has significant benefits to children's wellbeing and academic foundation - this is backed by local and international evidence;
d. It is the right of every child to learn and speak in their heritage language;
e. New Zealand should have a National Languages Policy;
f. New Zealand should have a Pacific Languages Policy;
g. New Zealand should formally recognise the Pacific languages of its realm, namely Cook Islands, Vakahau Niue, and Tokelau, and the languages of Samoa and Tonga because of its special relationships,

In response, someone from Melanesia, responded with this (Enlarged and in bold for your reading pleasure because it is very very important):

Adi E. Samanunu Waqanivalu
"Good thoughts however due to NZ historical links with Polynesia group of islands & their dominance in NZ on all Pacific Policies, then it perhaps needs to be called Polynesian Language rather than Pacific as there are others that make up the Pacific who are not Polynesian"

Now, this is something we need to consider in New Zealand today,....Pasifika is the domain of the majority, which is: Tonga and Samoa (and Cooks, Tokelau, Niue).

Melanesian countries remain hidden/excluded and it makes me laugh at the irony of all this....we as "Pasifika" are crying out for equality and yet, even among us, we are not being equal and acknowledging ALL people of the Oceania.

There is a Pasifika collaborative group I belong to, which is very much representative of so called "Pacific in NZ". The leaders are Samoan, except one Tongan and a half Niuean. ZERO Melanesian.
But when we face the public as a collaboration, I am suddenly aware of this over-representation and I feel inclined to omit my Polynesianness.
My point is, if we want to foray into the future in one canoe, we first need to know who are as a collective:
We are Oceania.
This means Vanuatu, Solomon Islands, Papua New Guinea, Fiji, Tuvalu, Kiribati,  Nauru, Marshall Islands, Palau, FSM, Northern Marianas and all the other islands that dot this vast Ocean.
Not just Polynesia.


Goddess of the Collaborative Oceania

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Its cheaper to be fat.

I found myself on Mangere Rd this afternoon, hungry and forgotten my wallet ...again!
Only $5 in the car ):
I was a little stressed, because my Samoan psyche was screaming out 'you need to eat, you only had 2 donuts for morning tea!' I pulled up to my favourite shop in Otahuhu, ...I'm sure I can afford a pork bun.
I asked for 1 and a pagikeke (lapokopoko) and hellacious, the shop assistant was like, 
"Pau ga?" clearly disgusted that she is wasting her time selling me only 2 items.
"Eio, I only have 5 strala"
"oi, but you can get 5 pagikekes for a tollar and 4 keke puaas, $1 each.
Wow - I did just that,...and everyone at my next appointment were like
  "A'e that's a rip off, cheaper at Pigakis"

...clearly, it is way cheaper to be fat than invest in being healthy (until you need dialysis that is).?.and I say this while I wipe the oil from my chin.

Chunky Goddess

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Separating the juice from the mango.

In Saint Theresa Savaii, there was a tall mango tree that stood next to the Church.
It bore green, salty, hard fruit.
When Sister Losa rings the bell for interval, we quietly tip toe past the tamaligi tree and up the wire fence, over the rock wall and through the pig sty, just to buy green, salty hard mangos, for 10 cents each.
With salt.
oh yeh - best 10 cents spent!

anyhow, that was just a mini distraction, the gist of this update is:

After a few weeks of kinky posts and non-Christian manouvers, I have decided to create a separate blog where all my polite well mannered perfect virginal Samoan girl posts will go.
I will leave all the kinky fuckery on this one and everything else....this Fagogo will remain.
I only have one favour to ask though....that when you do find me on my virginal page, please don't say my real name or refer to my kinky updates or this blog altogether....i'm trying to clean up my image, in the only way I know:
By faking it.

Thank you for coming and remember, Explicit here, Virgin there.....don't mix it up.
In appreciation,

Multiple Personality Disorder Goddess.

Monday, September 10, 2012

Faith in men.

I live with a man who is absolutely frustrating sometimes.
Oh wait, he is frustrating Most of the time.
In fact, I feel the need to strangle him most days. But for some reason, I can't bring myself to accept that his absence will mean I have to take the rubbish bin out every Tuesday morning....and also, apparently, it's illegal in my country. Offerkoms.
Example of how irritating he is:
When he loses something, he will look for it in a half- arsed sort of way, and then 10 minuites later, he will be so angry that EVERYONE in the house will be on the floor looking for his fecking cufflink.

This last week, he has been impossible, because he has a stress fracture on his leg, its like he wants the whole fecking neighbourhood to have a stress fracture with him. Oh yeah, and NO ONE is allowed to be happy while he is down.

I sometimes feel like I should be the one growing balls to get some fecking work done around here.

At the rate we are going, I am very very close to busting his knee cap so he can truly know what pain is.

And fyi,....thats your punishment for telling all our female pregnant family and friends  that 'women are genetically engineered to pop out babies"

I leave you, Frenchy and all men with this message: "Until the day you can squeeze a watermelon out of your asshole, I suggest you shut up and support the women around you"

Saturday, September 08, 2012

Miss Samoa

Its so very easy for people to criticise and be verbally brutal about young samoan women.

In beauty pageants.

Especially those who do not have the balls to do something daring or step outside the small minded square they live in.

Now with social media, people are so quick to put down others without thinking.

The irony of all this is: its just a friggin' 'beauty' pageant!



Thursday, September 06, 2012

Samoan love story between Salelologa and Mulifanua

I totally forgot I wrote a love story back in 2007, it is a clean porn-free Samoan love story:

In case you think my thoughts are constantly in the gutter.


Flush out the bullshit in your life

Every time I see or hear someone moaning about how someone said this and that and yadayadapoo, I calmly shut down in my head, stop, drop and roll into fetal postion and mutter "Flush it out, flush it out"

The thing is, if someone is such a polluter and negatively affecting you, why put up with it?
Just find something else to talk about, or better yet, don't talk at all to that person.
Move on.
My concern is this, if that person is talking shit to you about someone else, what makes you think they don't do the same about you?
...stop moaning about it and get on with life, surround yourself with people that make you happy, challenge you (in a good way, not a fist fight sort of way) and build relationships that are meaningful.

I know, I know, you're probably rolling your eyes and ears about my uppity fiapokoness about it, BUT, I say this because I learn from experience.(auuu)
I used to be surrounded that that sort of bullshit, in reality and online....but if you learn to filter out the 'noise', remove pathetic superficial shallow infuences and be involved in things that are good for you, then life will be better.

So, the mantra for today is:
Filter out the Bullshit, Inject the goodness. Filter out the bullshit, Bring on the Goodness.

Ultimately, the question becomes: What do I achieve out of this?

Be happy in your own skin, if you envy someone on facebook, remember this: their shit stinks too and they are only posting the kodak moments.
Make your own moments. Because in the long run, that smiling happy facade is only fleeting. The moments that count are not captured in a sterile photo.
It's felt, its emotive and it is real.  Be happy in your own skin. Start today!

Now Dr Phil please fuck off my seat, I'm taking over this show.

Tuesday, September 04, 2012

My latest favourite hangout

Le Olaga e....coz she's crazy funny and says stuff that make me think "omg...what a nutter!" I know someone who nuts like that! Huh? What are you looking at me for, ooferkoms?

But yeh, if you want spiritual enlightenment,...don't go there, if you wanna piss your chan mow panties laughing....go check out QueenB. 

Monday, September 03, 2012

Mikaele Pesamino, someone out there, please give him a chance!

Most of us who follow rugby, or even those who have glanced at a Samoa sevens game over the last few years saw a brilliant player, Mikaele Pesamino. He was THE MAN.

Then, shortly before the World Cup, Sale Sharks in Engrand announced they were signing him up. Then, he was in Auckland, and there apparently, according to the media, he has visa issues, etc, but then his father told Samoa Observer that he didn't sign because "he thought he had signed with a league club".

Anyhow, very sad and dissapointing, and then the English side dropped him because, well, because he wasn't there.

And there were also issues regarding his actual agent in Samoa, Feleti Tuilagi and Faafouina Sua,...why didn't they act on his behalf and worked this through with the guy?

Anyhow, I'm only writing this because I have seen the guy several times now out on the prowl in Hood Street, Hamilton, completely off his face. I also found out that he is playing for ..hmmm, how should i say this 'playing for a bloody crappy team in in Te Awamutu., and wait, its not even a club team as such, its the teams that get boozed on friday and then staggers onto the field on Saturday.(ahem - because i know some of them useless rugby players).

It makes me worry that this talented sportsperson is wasting his talents in Te -friggin Awamutu when he could be earning mega bucks in any good team in Europe or Japan or ...anywhere!

man, what a waste of if you know a rugby agent out there who is up for a challenge and revive a's your note though, you may have to go past the bushes and the long drop to pick him up and maybe hose him down, but yeah,...he might do a magical comeback and get your hefty commission
Pe'a leva.

Check out this hilarious youtube vid with Mikaele and Sumeo, the funniest man that ever lived):