Monday, August 06, 2012

Fifty Shades of Savai'i

I loves you baby, I wants to eat your virkin" he whispers and every follicle on my brown skin stood and yearned with want.
The crowds around us disappear and I lose myself in his presence, his strong rough sexy presence.
He walks away, coolly, his hips swaying sensually under the weight of his coconut bundles.
And while I gaze longingly at his half naked and unshowered body, he turns abruptly and calls out,
"Ska pasese baby" and he drops his avega and adjusts his worn lava lava around the vaa inked onto his lickable hips.
I try to calm the flutterIng in my chest "Stop your lusting you hoe bag" mussed my subconsciousness.
I reach into my bra and pull out my last ten tala and handed it to him.
He looks at me, with his intense Cook-me-some-taro-for-breakfast look and laughed.
"Baby, I wish I was the ten tala, but is ogay I will bury myself between your breasts later" and he leaves me before I can utter a hopeless comeback.
For the rest of the day, I could not focus, I started making mistakes, overcharging disgruntled customers and forgetting to serve others while my thoughts were lost in explicit acts and non-Christian manoeuvres.
Before I could fantasise some more, Paka'e slaps me across the face and yelled "Eat shit! You are here to sell oranges instead of pissing off the customers! Aikae loa I le fale!"
I walk off in shame, feeling angry and embarrassed, as other vendors teased me along the way.
I am now broke and have no bus fare to take me to my village.
I started walking, oblivious to the heat, the dust and the sharp rocks beneath my jandals.
Aw fuck, now what, my jandal is broken.
Before I could decide my next move, the Lupe Siliva bus pulls up behind me,
The intoxicated driver calls out "Siaula, are you gonna get on the bus or stand there like a stupid thing?"
I hop onto the bus, flustered, half falling over coconuts, bags of flour, fish and children.
Great, just fucking great, it's a full bus and there is no spare seat.
Then, like manna from above, I hear my name at the back of the bus,
There he sits, my half naked coconut carrying ten tala man beckoning me over.
As the bus sputters forward, I land indignantly on his lap.
At first I felt awkward and cheated, This isn't how it's meant to be! I am dusty, bedraggled and have one jandal, how the fuck am I going to impress him?
But something answered that question for me,
Something that is hard on the side of my nervous thigh.
My heart is now beating " outside" of my CCK top....omg, is that a wallet?
But he doesn't have a wallet for his no money to put into his pocketless lava lava. It ain't a wallet.
Oh puhlease! Don't look so demure! Sulked my subconsciousness but I ignored her.
Is that his machete?
But that's not meant to be there!
I feel trapped, and nervous, but also thrilled,...
This is the most intimate he and I will ever be!
On a crowded Lupe Siliva bus, surrounded by people and fish and coconuts and a rock hard poki poking me on my thigh with every pothole we pass.
To be continued....

Part 2: Fifty Shades of Savaii Vaega Lua
Part 3: Mr Ten Tala speaks

8 comments:

kuaback said...

bhahahahaha...se malo fai faagogo...thanks for the morning laugh suga!!!!

QueenB said...

LMAO! I absolutely love your hamo version.

Goddess said...

you dirty minds! hahah

panipopos said...

Hilarious! Sent the link to everyone I know. Please write a book lol...

Goldgurl said...

LOL - too funny! Malo lava se.

Teine Samoa said...

Hilarious!

Goddess said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Chenrose said...

Buahaha!! far out you should definitely finish off the book lol, this is a crack up, definitely has the Samoan humour..