Monday, April 16, 2012

My Samoan mother, the food critic

I took my mother to the mall today, to avoid me having to make food.
I was thinking, 'foodcourt'. Quick and easy.
We get there and she tells me,
"Eh, i just want something small'
We walk past several food options and then she spots the curry place.
Did I mention my mother was born in Mumbai in her former life?
As if to prove it, she married a man who was born in Kolkota and she can make a mean as curry, along with the chutney, the chilli, the ... ummm, I don't know what the things are called.
Anyhow, the friendly shop guy smiles hurriedly and asks what she wants. Because,.. well, because there are people behind us waiting and my mother is looking at the menu board with an ...unhurried demeanor.
"Can I help you maam?" Shop Guy is a little anxious now.
Me: "Mom, order what you want" Gesturing at the spread of curries right under our nostrils.
Mom: "Ia, what do you mean? Where are the curries?"
Me: "In front of you mom, eh, just order something please (looking at the queu behind me)"
Mom: "Why is there so much tumeric in the rogan josh? Oka!, oh well, do you have condiments with the meal?"
Irritated shop guy looks at the rogan josh and smiled, "Yes maam, we have roti and rice" and I didn't dare look at my mother's expression.
Mom: "Okay, but I don't eat red meat, so I'll have the vegetarian option, oh no, that doesn't look good, I'll have the rogan josh, with chilli"
Pissed off shop guy: "Maam, there is chilli in the curry"
Mom: "I want chilli on the side"
Pissed off guy: "Okay, but its really hot maam, are you prepared for hot chilli?"
Mom: "Just bring it, I knew hot chilli before you were born, fefe ia aikae" and walks off.
I proceed to pay and the now relieved shop guy says "Your mother is a tough customer maam".
And I smiled and muttered quietly, "You have no idea sir. You have no idea".
 Miss India with Lagipoiva and our Uncle Leilua who is in the CIA. choohoooo!
 Miss India in her salwar kameez wear...coz its all the rage in her world

Another of her numerous Indian wear, coz the puletasi was sooooo last year! chooohooooo!

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