At the doctors with mother dearest:
Doctor: Where does it hurt?
Mom: My leg, foot and thigh.
Doctor: What do you do for exercise?
Mom: Ia, I walk, do jazzercise with my group, I always do my breathing exercises...(and she pauses dramatically, straightens her back and inhales coolly in a Hollywood demonstration)...and of course, I played hockey and netball (back in the 50s but hey, whose counting?).
Doctor: Have you had any accidents before? Maybe a fall? Anything u can recall?
Mom: No..................................................No not really.
Well, I did have an accident when I was dancing, (and she looks at me)...e ke magakua? (I didn't). We were on a Tourism Road Show and you know foi a, we women, when we danced, we did the aiuli because there were no men in the group...you know (and the doctor looks searchingly for the punchline) when I got down to do the aiuli, I decided to land on my backside....(and she's near acting this in the office).
Doctor: So what happened?
Mom: "Ia" and she gets up and does the faakaupaki, "I broke the bone. But it's okay...I went to the hospital and yeah, they killed off the nerve. Really, its not my back that's the problem, its my leg, foot and thigh".
Doctor: So, you had no other accidents then?
Mom: No, not at all.
Doctor: So, can you show me where it hurts?
Mom: "E fai aku a le ufa ae fesili soo mai"...and she shows where it hurts again.
Doctor: "Okay, let me organise for some xrays and bloods etc etc, we need to get you back on your feet dancing and singing Madam Dancer from the Pacific!"
Mom: "For sure, Dr Singh! Can't wait" and she gets up, she breaks out a pe'avao move much to the Doctr's amusement and then she breezes out of the room without a worry in the world...ae galo le vae lae kiga...ma laga ako ma le kagaka ga la omai. lol.
right-o...I just loaded the photos that have been in her highness' camera since 2010 and just to give you an idea about this character, her wardrobe is a myriad of colours and fabrics and bling and flowers and hey, 2 scarves are never enough to protect her shoulders from the blistering snows in Samoa....enjoy.