Wednesday, December 14, 2011

O le Tulafale, The Orator

Hooray! Today we sent you:

* The Orator
We anticipate delivery between Tomorrow and Friday.
And No, I am not making a copy...I am supporting a local artist and local people.
Sorry cuzzies, buy your own.
My Unintellectual Psychoanalytcal Perspecive:
Now that I've watched it for the third time, I can say this:
The Orator depicts the two-faced-ness (there's a new word for the Oxford dictionary) of our supposed close knit society.
We are harsh, crass, rude and brutal in our everyday lives.
We express no emotions of love and compassion, but more of "I will break your mouth when I find you" instead of "I miss you while you are missing".
We are proud to a fault.
We are assholes like that. (Yes, you too).
On the other hand, when shit hits the fan, when we are faced with problems, we suddenly become an emotional wreck.
We wail at funerals and declare our love (even though we hardly communicated with the deceased when he was alive).
Orators lament in melodiac (new word me thinks) chants that make you want to cry.
When a man expresses his love for a woman in the presence of others, it means the world. Because its just something a Samoan man just doesnt do. (well, at least not to his wife, lol).
But most of all, I am in awe - seeing the land i love on a BIG BIG screen and hearing my language spoken - in a way that is real. In a way that transcends culture, language and becomes a universal story.
There is no pretence or sugar coating. There is no fanfare.
And for that very reason, I love it even more. It makes me want to lie on a mat and eat taro and play in the rain and fall in love all over again.
Yes, The Orator did that for me.
I love you too, kaepu.

You can buy the DVD online through There is also a bonus feature, Tusi Tamasese's earlier film Va Tapuia.
Here's the link to Fishpond.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

the things that matter, really

As the clock ticks closer and closer to Christmas, I find myself, sitting, as calm and as quietly as possible, relishing in the peace and quiet.
Before the storm.
I am sitting waiting and watching to see what the season brings, and so far, I have a sore head just thinking about it (ahem no more merlot for the lady please).
...what makes a rewarding memorable Christmas?
In our village, this is measured by the number of custen bradas aunties and uncles coming from overseas bearing bags of money and presents.
With the family in Marseille, its a well attended family lunch with close family and friends, seated by the fire exchanging stories.
In Oman, it when everyone who is NOT Muslim hops on a plane and buggers off to where its actually celebrated.
And then it struck me, My goodness, I have two little people whose perception and memories of Christmas lies heavily with: me.
And yet, here I am sitting of the flipping couch watching Celebrity Appentice when I should be filling their memories with important lessons.
Yes - we have put up the tree with the lights and tinsels and all (actually AUnty R did this with MM, not I).
We will go to the Mormon temple lights display like we do every year.
This Thursday is Kindys Xmas party carol singing.
But surely, I could do more that matter with my bake (yeah right), make christmas cards (eh, fai fai lea galo ga send) or or, ua uma ideas.

In any case, I am grateful that I will see all my sisters (from my mother and father that is;) this weekend. And our boy Tauilagi James. And come Xmas, the kids will meet their cousin Iliganoa for the first time ever. So yes, Christmas for us is spending quality time with family and friends, enjoying the peace, excitement and happy season while we can, before our move (:

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Easy recipe, sure!

So the bananas in the fruit bowl were dying before mine eyes.
And it occured to me that everyone I know bakes a banana cake in their sleep,
coz ya know, its that easy.
I googled the recipe that said "Easy banana cake recipe for the laziest of bakers" or some shit like that.
Well, I want to bake the owner of that recipe because I just burned the blimmin' thing.
It smells nice, but when I pulled it out, it was burnt on the outside and mushy inside.
Easy whaatt....damn you all who say banana cakes are a obviously have NOT met me!

Hoh! I'm going to Couplands for some baked-in-an industrial-oven-by-a-real-baker" cake.

Telesa Launch in Auckland !!!

If you're in Auckland tomorrow (Tuesday), the talented writer/domestic goddess/mother-of-fab5/beautiful Lani Wendt Young will be launching her book Telesa - The Convenant Keeper at AUT Manukau Campus.
Judging by the programme, it looks puuurrrdy good!
* Keynote Address - Dr. Selina Tusitala Marsh
* "Nafanua. Telesa Woman of Sacred Earth, Samoa." - Zita Martel
* Creative Siva Interpretation of "Leila, Taupou and Telesa" - Choreographed and performed by Filoi Vailaau
* Music - Provided by the Urale sisters.
* "Why TELESA is being called the 'Pacific Twilight'" - Book/movie trailer produced by Jordan Kwan, with photography by Tim Rasmussen.

You can also buy the book at the launch, meet Lani, have some chow, watch some entertainment and maybe meet a Daniel in the process....ya never know your luck!

Please RSVP to, especially if you plan to take your family pack perhaps they can cater accordingly, lol.

All the best Lani!



Friday, December 09, 2011

You know how I feel about Terry Tavita's writing, ...I general want to hurt someone when I glance through his propaganda bs, but today, I am absolutely impressed.
The guy has finally written something worth reading...and I even read the whole article.
Yes, I was that impressed.
Or maybe its the fact that its a story from Savaii.
(coz ya know, I'm baised like that)
Anyhow, have a read - its about his search for the asi monogi (sandalwood).

Click here for the story in Samoa Observer

My Anthropological Observation (:
My understanding of the asi manogi was from the revered Head of State, Tuiatua Tupua Tamasese Efi (and from the late Mrs Pili in NUS).

Tuiatua explained the old traditions around funerals in old Samoa, where sandalwood was burned, particularly to (ahem-pardon my macarbe-ness this lovely evening) overcome the unpleasant odours of the deceased. He said that the asi manogi was burned throughout the night, aumaga would take turns turning and keeping the logs burning. Leaves were also placed around the body, adorning the afu elo, the fine mat (afu-cover, elo-stench).

Witnessing it
one day, we went to Palauli for the excavation work at the Pulemelei Mound where this same ceremony was performed. Excavation was parallel to exhuming a grave (I fink that's the faapalagi of  liukofaga?).

This is my fagogo, true story! Aue.
On the day, (Aue) the skies raged and rain fell like always in Samoa. One drop and your hairstraightened afro morphed into a life of its own, scaring ghosts into their graves.
The river swelled and rose and bursted its banks until only the Annandales and the Nelsons 7 wheel drives could cross. The rest had to foot it, one hour's walk in the rain, the mud, the cow shit and lava rocks.
The aumaga from Satupaitea had cleared the forest, leaving only the coconut trees and the skeletons of ancient rock foundations, eerily exposed.
I walked to the top of the Pulemelei and looked all around me.
My God, I was in awe and humbled by its magnificence. Did the Tongans make them do it? UFOS? Pigeon snaring platforms? Whatever these foundations were, it was a blatant reminder that we are shallow remnants of a once amazing history and living culture.
We have lost so so much )-:

Anyhow, I digress. (Aue).

The ceremony started as night fell around us.
Men carried burning aulamas in a single file and the chief cried a funeral chant.
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, ua tala le lagi ma le lagi ma le laaaaaaagi.
I felt goosebumps - I felt the presence of not just the living, but others too.
(auuu - drama queen much?)

At the top of the Pulemelei, a fire was lit and sandalwood tossed in.
It was then and there that, I truly understood the essence that Tuiatua lamented of longingly.
The scent was strong. Pungent even.
 It enveloped us and I felt truly sad for those who passed.
For the first time in my life, I was grieving at a funeral of one.
Or rather, of everyone gone before me.
Being at that ceremony reminded me also of this: My name is TupaimatunaFotuosamoaVaasiliifitiTuisafua, I am from a long line of chiefs and orators and warriors who have graced this land before me. (errr....aichachae! chooohoooo!)

(Epilogue: So I chatted up the boys by the fire the ceremony and even today, I try to erase the shattering words they uttered. The words that killed my nostalgic historical buzz:
The sandalwood they used was bought from Frankies Supermarket. Buggers).

Thursday, December 08, 2011

Tuilaepa was right

Every Ioane and his chicken is getting a matai title.

Le Ulugalii fou

And we wish the happy couple all the happiness in the world, what a beautiful couple #HonorPausasaeMaimauLa'uDanjealousparade.

Thursday, December 01, 2011

Le au Se'i faga

Today, I had a wander around online and found an organisation called Samoa Web Ambassadors Programme.
I was intriqued, truly.
Their website boasts such wonderful 'deeds' and a list of 'initiatives' that will benefit Samoans...I was about to sing "halleluia praise be" from the mountain tops. But.
Ahem - It's me, remember?
I need a Vailima and some sashimi on the side to get me singing.
So who are these Oh-so-gracious Samaria agaleleis?
Well, I have to go with the information from their website:

They are run by a "Samoan charitable trust...established to teach marketing and to encourage in-bound Samoan tourism, post-Tsunami"

A core function of SWAP activities is to develop, build and maintain an inbound tourism portal website called The Samoa Story.
(ae click aku i le link e ep faasoloakor)

Now, before you yawn, let me say this,

I smell a isumu pe.

I am sure they are genuine, but I have the same concerns as with many other Govenment partnerships - many that have got belly up because the HRPP Government didn't do their homework and these so called partners didn't reveal their TRUE intentions.
Are they a business venture?
Or a charitable organisation?
And if they are there to help promote Samoa online, then what the hell is Samoa Tourism doing? Also, I see on their website that, with the support of the Government and Samoa Land Corp, they have gotten themselves 5 acres of land at Tagaigata.

Again, I am just voicing my personal views and my inner fears because this feels like many other deals in the past that have ended badly (cue to enter: the elusive Lubinsky, Taumesina, Jesse James and thieves from the Wild Wild West(Sasina), Jackie Chen and the golden nonu, Tiavea Uta, etc etc.
I am also nervous because their presence feels as if they are trying to 'fit the bill' in terms of eligbility for donor funding. And you and I know there are more than enough consultants and analysts with a fist in the pie before the $5 cent even drops at Faleolo Airport. 

Ironically, the more I read, the more I realise e fai lava siga kopi o si au vaega:
eg: Habitat for Humanity model of volunteerism: same same.
VSA (Volunteer Service Abroad): same strategy, using people's expertise to help those in need, in this case, they supposedly have website building/portal skills.

NewsFlash guys: I CAN BUILD A WEBSITE. AND ALL MY COUSINS IN SAVAII CAN MANAGE A SOCIAL MEDIA CAMPAIGN (like duuur! who doesn't know how to facebook? choohoo)
But hey, you never know, they might sincerely mean well, they might genuinely be a charitable organisation that want the best for Samoa...Nekkminut and if this is the case, then Bon chance and lets see some results.

Friday, November 25, 2011

Move over Chef Ramsay ....oi suga e...

My apologies if you are a friend on Facebook and notice that I'm being a lazy bugger and reposting exactly what I have there to here....desole, ua ova le pisi (not).

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Not being childish or anything but...

mine's bigger (:

Ps: 6 months later, I decide to collect the darned hard bound copy from the printers, $170 later, ouch!


Sunday, November 20, 2011

today in our lives

What a memorable day of being absolutely productive in the things I love:
- I finished one tuiga - ahead of the deadline.
- I fed Tuifiti 2 jars of baby food and NOTHING came out, epic achievement. He was a wee champ today playing and being cheerful and when I put him in the cot, he just amused himself and went to sleep not soon after.
- MM woke up and dressed herself and made own breakfast, in fact, if she could drive she'd have driven herself to school....she is going through a lovely fia teine matua phase. Of course, it translates into fia poto at times.
- After dropping off MM at kindy, i took the boy to Spotlight and I spent an hour restocking, buying Xmas things, fabrics on sale and scored some gorgeous ramikin bowls and casserole dishes at 60% less. Score!
-Tonight, I had left out 2 chicken breasts for dinner. I chucked it in the pan to brown, with white wine and usual spices, then left in on top of the potatoes in the casserole dish....Magnifique!! The chicken was not dry as usual, it was actually moist and yummmm with cheese topping...(can you tell Frenchy is not around with the abuse of food and his $$?)
-Lastly, we just tried out the rich chocolate cupcake recipe from our cupcake book...and it is yummmmay!!!

Now, I need clean the chocolate off the wall, thanks to MM trying be helpful.

Yay to the productive day!!!

Manuia le po.

some pix from the wkend
Of all the toys, bouncey castle and more, they went for the tube...shocker.
Our favourite hangout, Browsers Bookstore in the city, opens late, so we usually drop in after dinner and shout her highness a book or two (secondhand, shush).
This week, she got a Christmas book and Piggie went to Market.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Statement of the day

MM to me: Mom you look like Cinderella.
Me; Thank you MM, why do you say that?
MM: Coz you always do the feaus on your own.

Gee, thanks mate!...thanks for noticing while you dust icing sugar off your cupcake and onto the floor for Cinderella to clean up.

Misbehaving rugby brats

Zac Guildford needs to be dropped from the ABs...NZRU need to stop babying him and they should punish him instead.
Far out, how will he learn if every time he falls over he doesn't have to face the consequences?
He is a professional rugby player, paid to perform.
He has misbehaved on countless occasions, so in the professional world, there should be one solution:
Fire the shithead.

...As for that John Key leaked tape, far out ..what a storm in a teacup! media need to report on real issues relevant to voters not some shoddy tape.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Chilli Dogs

I was driving along the riverside, my mind was preoccupied with my next appointment, busy busy busy, 3 meetings then speed back to collect the smalls, make food for our visitor, hang the washing, book flights, apply for 3 jobs etc etc.
...When a song came on the radio that completely threw me off-guard.
And got me totally lost in Nostalgia Boulevard. ( in, I literally missed the turn and found myself on the wrong side of the river, damenshoot).
The song was. "Ghetto superstar(That is what you are)".
It reminded me of chilli and hot dogs, fried onions and mustard from that small shop at Malifa opposite Leififi.
Yes - the memory was THAT strong.
I could almost taste the damn thing too (p.s: am still talking about hot dogs here relle, fyi).
Anyhow, it got me thinking - about what could have, but didn't (phew!).
It made me sad for a wee moment, because I remembered how great those times were, but it didn't last.
I had a lot of growing up to do, and a lot of places to see.
I'm trying not to let out too much, because I'm a cold calculating shet like that, and I don't want you coming back at me later when I'm world famous (in Savaii) and say, "eh, that Goddess used to eat a lot of chilli dogs" lol.
 Anyhow, my message to all you parents out there is this, the best thing that can happen to your teenage daughter is that their first love is a complete prick, a liar, a loser, a real dumb ass.
Because when your daughter gets dissapointed from that initial relationship (which she expertly ended:), she will hopefully learn not to fall in love too easily, but be a real skeptic, be critical, be wary of all males thereafter, will have stringent standards and will (hopefully) learn to separate the losers from the good hopes.
And there you have it.
Love the Ghetto Goddess.

Saturday, November 05, 2011


The first time I saw a dead person was the old lady Olovae from Sapapalii.
She was carefully dressed in black, her coffin was adorned with white lace and laugasese.
Her humble fal was now covered in fabric. Jesus. Plastic flowers. Wreath. Rolls of fine mats. Her finest china on display. Jam and butter biscuits. Tea. Coffee. Lazy chiefs looking for a free feed.
Lagipoiva was scared, Malelega was indifferent. I was. strangely fascinated.
This was the woman who yelled at anyone and everyone, angrily, barking orders from dusk till dawn demanding peace and then shattering it with a resounding “Aikakae kou alelo pogaua”.
Simply put, she was not a nice human.
Still, I was intrigued. For who were these outsiders wailing at her side?
Maybe, just maybe then, she was a nice person a long time gone?
Surely she was, because the wailing had turned into a sing song lament about the old kind, gentle woman, with a heart of gold, always giving and loving and caring.
Was I at the right funeral? Who was this woman?
Several eulogies later, where I rolled and rolled my eyes in disbelief at the inaccuracies between the tearful molimau and the angry personality that was Olovae, I had a moment of clarity.
We wail at funerals. On cue.
We lament our dearly beloved. Because we want the world to know, we loved them.
We pull out the fine woven ie samoa to gift and the expensive lace to cover the coffin.
Because we care.
But will some of us express ourselves in a positive manner while our loved ones are walking, talking, yelling?
Hell no.
We are a bunch of heartless shets like that, we wait until they are six feet under to say what we really feel.
Be kind to your loved ones, even if they are a pain in the neck, make an effort because your wailing and your crocodile tears will mean NOTHING to them when there are gone.
Amene ma amene.

Friday, November 04, 2011

Scholarships Deadlines

I dont have the links at the moment but just a reminder to Pacific students, lots of deadlines coming up for scholarships and awards for get busy with those applications:

Key ones I can think of:

Greg Urwin Awards: All Forum country nationals are eligible, get that foot in the door for those with career aspirations in the Pacific.

South Pacific - USA Scholarship (5 spots, undergrad and post grad) for East West Center, Hawaii.

Universities in New Zealand: Most have grants up to $1000 from the Equity Fund, PIPEF, etc for Pacific students...very easy process for UOW students, only 2 pages to fill and one reference. Put in your academic and cultural, sports, just make up some fagogo about me for tips, lol

Go to the MPIA website for more scholarship information  and just google it...plenty of chances but you have to be in to win (:

Bonn chance!

Thursday, November 03, 2011

Screwed by association

Something has been bothering me lately,
It's to do with my sports and inspirational hero, La'auli Michael Jones.
I love the guy. ..right
He is an exepmplary leader and role model, who is ...well, brilliant as a sports person and as a Kiwi/Samoan/Pacific Islander/personality.
I admire his faith aand personality....ioe, you can call me a fan.
Whatever he will sell, I will consider buying, ..including Signa Insurance.
But in recent months, his associations with certain groups and people had made me wonder,
What the F#$%^ are you thinking La'auli????
- First, his name was in the midst of the National campaign.
- Following that, he was caught up in the PEDA deal where millions were signed over to a non-existent Pacific group that has yet to do something for Pacific people but had the 'know how' and the contacts with the right people (Te heuheu kia ora bro).
- Soon after, he get involved in the defunct Nonu juice deal with J.Chen and co.
I begin to wonder, is he going into these 'associations' willingly or is his good reputation being used to promote these various ventures that have since gone balls up?

Whatever the case, I hope he treads lightly in the future and do his homework before jumping head in first into these would be such a shame at his age to be dragged down -

I can't stand seeing another role model go down because they didn't make informed decisions.
C'mon Iceman, smarten up!

Wednesday, November 02, 2011

Ground breaking achievement

Frenchy is at a 3 day training with his team.
This leaves me with the two smalls. But this is not the purpose of the story.
Rather, not all goes well when we are left on our own, because of these reasons:

1. Taking the rubbish out, something I have only done about 4 times in my life.
So, I got up super early, carried the two large trash bags to the front, then back for the green voila! Good keol!
Then we got home from work this evening and the stuff is still there, ...auoka, wrong day vasti! Tomorrow is rubbish day.

2. I forgot Frenchy was going with a group of people in the company vehicle. I hopped in my car (with the smalls) and was about to reverse this morning, only then did I realise a particular obstacle in the rearview mirror, the other car. Aivavasti!

3. MM and I are eating ice cream before dinner and pancakes before bed. Yes - I love Frenchy's absence for that reason.....porkies much...we'll be chunkier fatties if his trainings were longer haha.

But really, what sucks the most is, I am overly tired but I can't shut the door and have time out for a bit..argh, I applaud solo moms at moments like these! I applaud widows the world over for their persistence and strength. Oh golly I'm a whiner today. We miss you Frenchy!!!!
But thank the Lord for the drowsy-ing effects of a warm bath, spaghetti bolognaise and warm milk...both went down 20 minutes after bath.
Whoever tries to get back up between now and dawn, Pamol is on stand by.
 k, I'm knackered, manuia le po ma fai se miti malie

Tuesday, November 01, 2011

I've deactivated again

I was beginning to get clinically depressed watching the SRU tractor crash into a mauadtheova tree...and even more depressed knowing that very little will change in our oiland paradise.
These kulukus will be replaced by another lot of kulukus...its the nature of the beast they say.
I'm also deactivating because I am beginning to have superficial and lazy relationships with my friends. For instance,  we are chatting on Facebook when they are 5 minutes drive away...I did explain that it was easier that way because I didn't have to get out of my jammies to communicate, but that didn't go down too well. off went the jammies and off we went to visit....and then we ended up ON facebook perving at pictures of newly signed up Tron rugby players on Bookface.
How pathetic is that?
So this week, I am staying off the blimmin thing (small steps, small steps matey) so help me Malia ma le au Farasaio.
....lets see how long I last.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Samoan names

Since I started this blog  (You'll be 6 years soon Fagogo bebe), I have gotten heaps of random emails from people wanting to know about:
 -Samoa, about people they met from Samoa, about places, food, about who kocked who up, about who wants to knock me out becuase of what I say, about what places to visit, about etc etc.
The Most frequent requests I have gotten from people are about the tuigas but in recent months, it has been about Samoan the point where I did a word doc with names I like, and names people commonly ask for, so here goes a few that I had listed previously for you to choose from, but do feel free to email me for a perfect name for your baby and I won't list it here (:
No fees apply. lol

Alofa: Love
Alofagia: To be loved.
Agasala: Sin
Atamai Intelligent
Alaisa: Rice
Aialaisa: Eat rice
Alaolesau: The path where ghosts walk in the night from the sea to the mountains at Lalomalava, do not cross.
Alaimoana: My uncle who lives in Australia and likes Vailima.
Aitalafu: Debt
Aiu: Not wanting to give, as in "What a aiu guy"
Aikae: Not recommended.
Alamanuia: income earner (:
Amataga: Beginning
Alalafaga: Village
Amana'ia: Highly regarded
Alamaia: Wake up
Avaga: Elope
Alosina (Alo o Sina): Descendants of Sina (a Sapapalii name)
Ata: Laugh/picture/movie/

Eleele: Earth
Etelu: world famous in Savaii singer
Etenei: name from the Bible i believe
Elia: from the bible
Eveliga: name of world famous in Apia personality
Efuefu: Dust. (You like that? you freak show you)
Eleitino: A taupou name from the village of Apia, and if you are not related and not connected to the family, don't use it.
Eleimana: The two words I like phonetically, Elei and mana put together and forms a name with no real meaning.
Elena: copied from the Spanish Elena
Eletise: Electicity
Enele: Transliteration of my friend Henry from Sinamoga
Epenesa: Name of Manu Samoa physio back in the days when Manu Samoa had to share rugger boots and borrow jerseys. Oh wait...its still happening. sorry, I sidestepped there.

Ilipu: Blow the couch shell or who one had a slightly unfortunate mouth area.
Iiga: Name of Faautu's ancestor who built a boat and sailed the Iiga Pass in Saipan while he was exiled there. Thus the name, Iiga Pass. Legend.
Igaga: Whitebait only found in Puleia, Savaii
Iloilo: Select, choose
Iliili: gravel, also name of village
Itagia: Hated
Isalei: goodbye in Fijian
Imosina: beautiful Samoan name.
Iesu: Jesus
Itumalo: District
Iamua: First fish
Isupe: Runny Nose

Olaga: Life
Olioli: Joyous, Joy
Osana: Praise
Oloa: Treasures, goods.
Osofaalava: Don't name child this.
Olive: olive
Oti: Goat or Cut or Dead. Take you pick.

Ulufanuasesee: from legend
Ulutala: Title Page
Usugafono: Attending a conference/meeting. (In the event that your bebe was conceieved at one of these.
Uila: Bike
Uta: Inland
Ufa: Don't name child of small town outside of former USSR.
Uila Emo: Lightning

Fai: Depending on pronounciation it can mean Banana, To do, breaking of sail, break ones jaw(Fafa'i really) or the fish that killed Steve Urwin.
Filifilia: Chosen. The chose one.
Fotuosamoa: The greatest name in the world. Apparently. Don't name child or else it'll be a beautiful stunner in the future. True story.
Fiafia: Happy
faamaoni: faithful
Fusuaga: Fight
Feiloaiga: Meeting
Fuarosa: Rose but also meeting gettin' nothin' in drag speak(:
Finau: Determined?
Faafufusi: Don't name your kid this.
Ferila: colourful flowering plant
Fata: brother of Tuna, sons of malietoa who turned rock at Tolotolo during Tongan rule.
Feiloaiga: meeting

Gaualofa: Now well known because of the traditional vaa currently sailing across the Pacific and beyond.
Galusina: White wave
Galutoo: Bleeding wave
Gogosina: White dove.
Gaupapa: Slug
Galo: Forget
Gagana: Language

Lesina: I like that name.
Leutogitupaitea: from the legend, Leutogi being the cannibal sister who is banned and becomes a star in the east (east) who rises in the early morning.
Lupe: Pigeon, but if you want to romantice it, then make it a Dove.
Lupesina: White (pigeon) dove
Lupelele: Flying (pigeon) dove
Lupelei: My cousin from Safua
Lupeuluiva: Pigeon with 9 heads. arrrr...vicious! from legend in falealili at vai o le gogo
Lomitusi: Printer
Leaisetupe: No dinero.
Laauli: in legends La'auli is a strikingly beautiful man who wowed women and is brave, say no more.
Lautala: Fijian man, second husband of Laufafaetoga i believe. comes from Fijian word Laucala.
Lemalie: Unsatisfied
Leomalie: sweet voice
Loimata: Tears
Loimatamaligi: falling tears
LoimataoApaula: Tears of Apaula
Loimatalagi: Heavenly tears
Leala: The Way
Lealaolemativa: The way/road of poverty between Taaga and Satupaitea
Lealali: my uncle who passed away,. matai name from Safuando
Lega: egg yolk

Manaia: Nice or male son of high chief/male dancer.
Malosi: Strong.
Mana: Spirit, the essence of being, a common name/term throughout the Pacific, and my boy's third name (:
Malaia: curse. yes, because people have named their illigit kids this ):
Malae: Field/space, usually the central field where meetings were held traditionally and is also the place where your family's genealogy connects to. Malae is Marae in Maori.
Malaeolema: The field or place where Nafanua fought and was found out to be a woman. Ma: shame...field of shame for ALL MEN coz a woman kicked yo ass'.
Manamea: Beloved, I love this one too, so adoring.
Malie: Nice, or shark.
Maile: Dog
Maina: comes from Lagi maina, as in Ia lagi ma ina lo kakou aso,,,we hope the day is blessed, no drama).
Mailei: Trap. (As in, she got pregnant to trap him into a relationship :)
Manase: My great grandparents were faifeau in this village in Savaii.
Moe: Sleep
Manuia: Bless/Well.
Moetolo: Sleep crawler
Moana: Ocean
Manu'a (one of the islands within the Samoan archipelago)
Measina: treasures...made popular by theme of PAF 1996? called Tala measina.
Moemamanuaesaumalaeatiae: Sleep with blessing but awoken by bad news/bad omen/bad news?
Moegalo: Plant you grow but acts as a natural fly repellant.
Malietoa: paramount chief of Samoa, ongoing title bestowment issues with this one.
Mele'i: The stick that you use to husk open a coconut.

Nonoa: Tie, as it, "child, when I got pregnant with you, I got nonoa'd down".
Nofoa: Seat.
Nuanua: Rainbow
Nuanuaolealofa: NGO in Samoa, Rainbow of Love.
Nonu: fruit with healing components that Jackie Chen and co are in dodgy talks over.
Nala: from Lion King

Puava: name of reef opening outside of falealupo
Pusi: Cat but also have other connotations.
Pipi: Chiefly title from Salelologa. Don't name child because of 'those' connotations.
Pele: darling or my beloved or deck of cards
Penina: Pearl
Pemita: Permit
Palota: Elections, Vote.
Pusalalau: Name of a special needs group in Samoa headed by Enele and Sina.

Salamasina: The first tafaifa in Samoan history. Also her descendants include head of Papauta College, Salamasina who was well respected in Samoa.
Sala: Fine (Village fine)
Sene: Coin
Sefulu: Ten
Sina: The name of almost every heroine in every samoan legend,..some are extended to be Sinaleulalei of Vaiala, Sinaleavele the spirit ghost of Avele, Sinaleulaseasea of Paia, Sina tupe faamolemole etc etc
Sisi aferika: African snail
Sikalamu: Scrum
Sikoa: Score, Try in a game of rugby or in a romantic courtship.
Salataise; Kuini's beautiful momma.
Samoaneigalo: Samoa don't forget

Toa: Brave. Warrior.
Tamatoa: Brave boy or man. I loved this name growing up and wanted to name any boy of mine Tamatoa. But then I told someone this plan and the bugger named her child Tamatoa, but its all good, she asked me about it. ...(but no more sharing my preferred names haha).
Tuaimoana: I love this song "e Tua i moana e tua i moana la ta tu'ugatala"..before I had kids I wanted to name one Tuaimoana.
Tautalailagi: My great grandmother from Fusi Safotulafai who married Futu from Gautavai. I have about 7 relatives named this., so it's confusing when you look at our family tree.
Tifaga: Movies....for those who met their baby daddy at the movies.
Tauilagi: My sister's son's original name. Thanks Mom (:
Tausagimaimanu: Birds sing in the trees.
Tuiatua Tupua Tamasese: The revered Head of State of Samoa. Probably not for naming your child because those are matai titles (:
To'oa: Another taupou name that is overused incorrectly to the point where every other Miss Samoa contestant is suddenly a To'oa. Do not use if youre not connected to it.
Tala: Story.

Vaimoana: Divided or parted by the oceans....awww, how romantic. gag.
Vasa: Ocean aso name of bitchy nurse on Shortland Street.
Viiga: Praise.
Vanimonimo: Sky
Vaatausili: after legend of fijian boat shifted onto the trees. also name of skinny guy who slept in cave and his body grew.
Vailima: Beer. Water in the hand.
Vaasiliifiti: My mom's matai title which was bestowed upon her in the 70s at Safua. Vaa is the boat that Laufafaetoga (Tongan daughter of Tongan king) boarded with Tupa'i that was destined for Samoa but went off course to Fiji(thus the vaa sili i Fiti). In Fiji, she settled with Tuifiti and had 2 children then returned to Samoa and she was in labour on the boat and Tupai said, dont despair, ua Fotu mai Samoa (thus my name), she eventually arrived at Safotu and had the baby named the above, and she was protected by her brothers and so on and so forth

Herota: Herrod from the Bible


Rapiti: self explanatory really.


Halloweeennn who does that??

We live in Ni'u Ziland right.
Ten years ago, Halloween was a thing that people from Amerika were celebrating and something we here in the bottom Pacific Ocean simply, ...watched on tv.

So all the ads on tv this week did not faze me, nor did I plan to buy candy for any little sheeets knocking on my door.
Yes, I'm a non-American bitch like that. Thank you very fat.

But what I was unprepared for was the midget telling me, (along with a sketch in her scrap book) that she was going to be a mermaid.

Why am I unprepared?
Because she had a picture in her mind, transformed onto a page and communicated to me in these terms "Youre going to make me a mermaid with beautiful golden shells and a tail that is sparkly. I also want some pearls on my top and a purple bra like Ariel, okay mom?"
This was last night, for the party down the

I had to get up at 6am to put the damned thing together before she got up.
Out of the lack of 'mermaidy resources' I had to tear one of my puletasi ies for the tail and she also went ahead and chose my expensive tuiga shells for her hairpiece.

As I am doing this, I am suddenly struck with guilt. I was a demanding little shit with my mom when it came to stuff like this.
My goodness - i used to do just this...even up to when I was 20...argh!

My mom did my traditional wear for some pageant and every time she tried the garment on me I got so worried and at times upset because it wasn't what I had in mind!..and then it turned out to be winning traditionally inspired wear in the end and I was reminded again, Mom knows best.

Now, I am getting punished for being a nightmare to my own mother.
I have my own demanding little brat who is expecting an amazing costume that will exceed what she has in her wee mind.
So help me Allah!

...and damn you Ariel and Halloween!

Saturday, October 29, 2011

joyous sunday in the sun

wow- what an absolutely sunny perfect day.
we spent most of it outside, walking to the river, feeding ducks, walking again and for the first time in months, weeding the garden which is now actually a weed garden.

This is also the first week we are finally having some normality; no guests, trips away, things to rush I feel a lot more settled, have done ALL of the washing, have made 2 tuigas in a week (a-m-a-z-i-n-g) and even got Maeva's bestie over for the day to play(after months of ...okay MM...later, we''ll get her later..stop asking MM!).

Exam season at uni, so our neighbours the counsellors are at their usual busy phase,...suddenly deadly ill students, family problems suddenly cropping up on exam week and the odd suicidal attempt to make the week fly.

What's hapening this week:
-Lights Party at the church down the road. Instead of Halloween. Free sausage sizzle. So yay, Iwe are Evangelists for a day.
-Frenchy in Supershitty for 3 days, so I'm solo-mom'ing -take outs, ice cream and tv on 24/7.
-The New Caledonians get in on the Saturday, so  gotta brush up on ze broken French.

Aunty Ev still hasnt set my camera, so hope we get it this week.

Manuia le vaiaso.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Blow your own trumpet!

Our HR department said to me recently:
"Sometimes we presume that just because we work for the same organisation, the selectors will know you, don't be afraid to blow your own trumpet and sell yourself".

In other words, don't wait for someone else to ili the pu koso for you, do it yourself and do it well...ia ua lelei ili pu mai Sagoge.

So, I packed my instruments and went down the path of self promotion and bolstering my networks.
...Which, is like, tooooootally not me! (ahem - no way! I mean, talking about myself??? I don't do that, no! I I I don't do that!).

Anyhow, I gave myself 5 days. I was going to tackle one person a day (not Tuilagi tackle, but more so, I was going to win over a mover and a shaker one day at a time).
It works. It works wonders.
(smiles from ear to ear)

Like the MBA mantra states, close your eyes....
"Happiness is a positive cash flow" ooooommmmmmmmmm!

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Applying to be the Manu Samoa Team Manager

I'm applying for the job, since I have the qualifications by the looks of it.

I can drink till the 'crooks' come home,
I like to share rugby gears and perks with my family and friends,
I like to swear when things are not going my way.
I enjoy staying in nice hotels when other people are paying for it.
...and ordering room service.
I like a free ride.
I like paid holidays, especially family holidays where my cousin, uncle and custen bradas are all on the same holiday package with me.
I like being on the sideline with a dead phone on my ear pretending I'm busy talking when the boys are playing, and I get to wear an expensive suit paid for by samoan kids lunch money.
Ultimately, I like being around men, particularly Manu Samoa men.
They who will come begging to me for gears, and I will have nothing to give but the shirt on my back. Literally.
Please consider my application favourably,
Kind regards,

Goddess Schuster.
(P.s and yes - I prefer that you address me by my honorary title, not my igoa kaule'ale'a, thank you for your coming :-)

Monday, October 24, 2011

oh what a week!

So it started with a birthday, then graduation, throw in some crayfish and whitebait, top it off with some Moet and tah dah! splitting disgusting hangover and a whole day of work to plough through.

I am very very overjoyed that my mother made it to witness me recieve that piece of paper. She missed the last one, so this one was fabulous with her presence. I walked with MM on stage (because she wasn't having it any other way) but more so because she was the driving force that pushed me to start on my masters journey and then she endured months weeks of zero attentiobn while I traveled and then camped in the labs doing my write up.

If I had my way, I would have taken the whole family basket to collect it, because they were all in many ways, part of my trip....but hey, its a palagi stage, can't hold our lot. lol.Things got even better when Lagipoiva walked into the back door.....AFTER she convinced me she just couldn't make it because of meetings. What an amazing surprise....even more so because I had someone to help me straighten my hair.
The children LOVED having the relations over. Tui loved being around my mom and would crawl towards whereever she is. MM of course was in princess heaven having Lagipoiva at home....yay, someone who can tell her fairytale after fagogo after current affairs and everything in between.

My other sister (yes - i have many, in case you hav'nt noticed, lol) Marilynn, soon because Tuis favourite - he loved hanging around her malu!!! and then he was enjoying soft cushions when Marilynn held him...bahaha! And did I mention the crayfish and the whitebait fritters?

On Saturday, we had a friends nite to celebrate...over a large bowl of potent punch with too much vodka (thank you laus and pusalalaus for leaving that apple Absolut in the kitchen).

On Sunday, we cleaned up a little then off to the Mount to watch the game with the Rogers and friends. Great night, the ABs finally end their drought after 24 years and thank God for that, this nation deserved it!!
The highlight for us as Varsity supporters was OUR Stephen Donald saving the day for New Zealand, after he got hated and slagged all this look whose laughing now?!!

Best yet, Dusautoir was the player of the tournament and Frenchy got some $$$ from TAB for his only try...whooohoooo.
...and then the vodka punch was out again to ruin us all.

Now that that BIG week is over,...and I have had 6 hours sleep, I wish to thank all my family and friends who have been there for us over the last 2 trying years. We love you and like momma said, "hold your head high but don't forget your identity, humble yourself and be grateful...stop asking. "Why me" and start 'doing" and being the difference"

Viia le Alii ona o nei faamanuiaga

Ia, and a classic to wrap up the photo collage by none other than my mother dearest - that you for the fa'aleaga aka, hah.

Monday, October 17, 2011

The Orator and the Doctor

At the doctors with mother dearest:

Doctor: Where does it hurt?

Mom: My leg, foot and thigh.

Doctor: What do you do for exercise?

Mom: Ia, I walk, do jazzercise with my group, I always do my breathing exercises...(and she pauses dramatically, straightens her back and inhales coolly in a Hollywood demonstration)...and of course, I played hockey and netball (back in the 50s but hey, whose counting?).

Doctor: Have you had any accidents before? Maybe a fall? Anything u can recall?

Mom: No..................................................No not really.
Well, I did have an accident when I was dancing, (and she looks at me)...e ke magakua? (I didn't). We were on a Tourism Road Show and you know foi a, we women, when we danced, we did the aiuli because there were no men in the know (and the doctor looks searchingly for the punchline) when I got down to do the aiuli, I decided to land on my backside....(and she's near acting this in the office).

Doctor: So what happened?

Mom: "Ia" and she gets up and does the faakaupaki, "I broke the bone. But it's okay...I went to the hospital and yeah, they killed off the nerve. Really, its not my back that's the problem, its my leg, foot and thigh".

Doctor: So, you had no other accidents then?

Mom: No, not at all.

Doctor: So, can you show me where it hurts?

Mom: "E fai aku a le ufa ae fesili soo mai"...and she shows where it hurts again.

Doctor: "Okay, let me organise for some xrays and bloods etc etc, we need to get you back on your feet dancing and singing Madam Dancer from the Pacific!"

Mom: "For sure, Dr Singh! Can't wait" and she gets up, she breaks out a pe'avao move much to the Doctr's amusement and then she breezes out of the room without a worry in the galo le vae lae laga ako ma le kagaka ga la omai. lol.

right-o...I just loaded the photos that have been in her highness' camera since 2010 and just to give you an idea about this character, her wardrobe is a myriad of colours and fabrics and bling and flowers and hey,  2 scarves are never enough to protect her shoulders from the blistering snows in Samoa....enjoy.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Yes - It shall be a really good week (:

Spent the weekend with mine familia in New Lynn, loved loved loved it for this reason:
They claimed the smalls and I slept like a baby (and drank like an Irishman).
The baby on the other hand was spoilt rotten...he fell asleep in Mom's arms and woke up on Aunty Ev's chest, and i tell ya, the kid loved every moment of being adored and cuddled and poked and carried and loved.
He will have a panick attack for sure next week when he finds himself.. ALONE in the living room with non living items to amuse him...Oi kalofa e i le Tuif.

Speaking of babies, I took Mom to the Mall, (you know, buy her coffee and then leave MM with her) while I "quickly nipped" off to grab a few things...(right-o).
One hour later, I find Mom seated at the table with a group of elderlies listening intently as she spoke. Did I mention my mom is a born story teller? Well, these elderlies were like, watching her in awe as she "educated" them about Samoa.

Anyhow, next to our table, a really large Samoan woman was feeding a baby about Tui's age(maybe younger): cake, icing and cream...what the heck?!!! thats child abuse right there!!!

Okay - one last thing about this scatterbrain entry...I am loving having Mom here all to ourselves...lots of talk, talk, sleep and kids time, with a trip to the shops and visit relatives to break things up a bit...loving it, she's here till Saturday, so am making the most of quality time.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Eliota's hearing is this morning

In Auckland city.
Good luck and hope you don't get into too much trouble with the IRBolos.
...Judging by the crowds gathered at Emily Place, I wonder if any Samoan is working this morning (:

Is Pity the new black tonight?

OMG! this is freaky!
I started a blog entry, like most of my recent ones: A whine-a-thon and continue my "feel sorry for me" tirade to complete the week but I got distracted by the updates on the dashboard....Ulalei and Perpetual Drifter have beaten me to it: what the heck?!! Your chips are down too?  Is ANYONE having a jolly good time on here?  dayum, whoever is reading our blogs are gonna be totally depressed come morning.
Eh - cheer up ladies, we have much to be grateful for, like.....South Africa is out of the World Cup and ummm, hokey pokey is yum at this hour.

But here's something that made me laugh so loud I almost cried.....A caller on Radio Samoa (in Auckland) telling the listeners that Paul Williams is now engaged....(and i thought, booorring, old news) Julie Tuilagi.
Julie is my sister's classmate from high school and lets just say, Julie has the grace and confidence to glide onto the 22 and replace McCaw and hold up the scrum too after rucking some balls.
Get the picture?
Lemme look for a picture

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Phone calls I hate

This week, I have had a hate hate relationship with my phone.
All the calls I got were crappy ol' ones that I didn't need., so much that I switched it off (and resulted in several angry voice messages from Frenchy coz he couldn't get thru).

Caller 1: Automated Vodafone reminder that my account was due. Fukkers.

Caller 2: Frenchy asking me to pick up the smalls coz he was busy with work. Coz you know, my job is less importance and he earns more. Arse-frarken-bum.

Caller 3: Tuif's Daycare sayin' "He's slept more than usual and a bit clingier than usual...always wanting to be held, so maybe you should come get him" Putrido, do your well paid job and look after the boy.

Caller 4: My 42 year old brother who still lives at home calling me to ask (third call this year, same demand) "Ska cologne please sis, not the cheap stuff aye, a good one....give it to mom when she comes". Yes - he lives at home and old enough to have 9 children and still relying on others. Frakken damen shoot.

Caller 5: My 42 year old brother calling back "oi, and i'm running low on work shirts sis, can you get me some of Frenchys ones". Did I mention I only work 20 hours a week to pay for my kids daycare, mortgage, food and survival? And he lives at the family house in Lalovaea with no weekly costs? #learntostandonyourowntwofeet

Caller 6: Daycare again, "now Tuif is crying and I think you should collect him?" No, I'm in a meeting, can you give him Pamol please?
"Sorry, you need to sign the medical form in order for us to give him Pamol." Okay, I'll come get him. (but i really wanted to say, kefes, do your job).

K, better go eat some soup to make me feel better..argh! 

Monday, October 10, 2011

nothing like a punch in the gut to bring ones day dddooooown! is one of those days, when you (me to be exact) think you're winning against the tide when in fact, the current has taken you waaaay out....and the prospect of getting back is just overwhelming, so you just give up, and sink to the bottom.

eh, i'm just being cryptic when i should just get to the point.

What a shitter of a day.
Bring on the weekend already.
Anyhow, just to end with a positive note, this is a gorgeous photo I took in Taaga.
This leaf is used as a traditional cure for an overactive bladder/bladder infection, which we call kulika kamo'e (where you are running to the toilet for a wee but it's only a trickle) or for kulika kiga (when passing urine is painful). The leaves are picked, shredded and pounded until there is a cup of liquid to drink.
sorry - aimless blog update today....but do tune in for fascinating blog entries in like,....never. lol

Friday, October 07, 2011

Getting ready for Lotu Tamaiti

Today, we went to look for a dress for MM.
We came home with 2 dresses, new shoes, pjs and stockings.
She will make a convincing negotiator, coz I just got robbed.

Anyhow, it takes me back to Safua, being one of 4 girls and my mom used to make us all a dress, usually two for the 2 services.
It was the highlight of the year when she carried out the sewing machine and lays out the rolls of fabrics.
Wow - we were so lucky!
She used to stay up, sewing away, having countless cups of tea and ov course, the Consulate ciggies on the side.
Oi aue....
(YES! Ireland scored!)
Anyhow, Mom arrives in the morning, and we are about to drive up tonight to celebrate Lotu Tamaiti with some of our relations.
MM has memorised her wee tauloto and is all psyched - something tells me she's all mimika now but will freak out in front of the auloku.
ah well, it doesn't matter, she's got the dress and looks the part.
...oh, and aunty is making panipopos...choohooo!

Thursday, October 06, 2011

Going home during lunch break

The boy got sent home because he has 'hand, foot and mouth'.
P.s NOT related to the cattle I soon found out on google. (:

Frenchy stayed back while i went to work, but because he has an urgent meeting, I drove home to look after my lil cow while he goes....lucky for me, Bebe Mooloo is asleep, so i had some food and then saw the Oyster Bay sitting in the fridge begging for company.

Naturally, being a kindred spirit that I am, I obliged,

Wow - I need to do his more often, having a glass in the afternoon.

Now the shitty part is, I have to get back to work....keste ia se,

Have a good weekend everyone!!!

In other world news:
Kauloto: OMG - MM has memorised her kauloko!!! (Not bad for someone who hasn't been to church in ages! (:
...well, i told her if she memorised it, shell get a white dress......(note to new parents, bribes work wonders).

Wednesday, October 05, 2011

Panipopo Fix

In case I forget, again.
Here's the best thing that's happened to any fob living abroad since....corned beef.

A blog dedicated to all your Samoan food favourites, like kopai, pagipopo, pai fala and everything else you had at the makeki fou when you was 12 back in 1969.


Thanks to her, there has been a spate in women of all ages making panipopos and posting pictures of their baked goodness on facebook, blogger and whoever else cared to see.

My latest favourite is this one (which comes with video of the process....yippeee!!), How to make a Pai Fala

If there was an Academy Awards for the most Exciting Blog, this one has my vote! (Tiau muchos)

O le Tulafale, The Orator

Kiwis, don't forget, The Orator comes to a cinema near you TODAY!!!

Like their Facebook page and check out where the film is screened near you under "Info" or just do a good ol' google search in your city (:

Check out this raving review by the New Zealand Herald.

Watch the TV3 review by Kate Rodgers here.

Just...GO and watch it with your family and friends....hundreds of coconuts around the world envy us for having access to this Academy Award nominated film, so milk it while we can!

Lastly, keep an indigenous actor alive today and NO illegal copying.

Manuia outou matua ae ola matou le fanau soifu.

When you have everything and it means nothing, ungrateful sod.

So, I have this relative.
(And at this point, I'm hoping that that relation will never read my blog....nor will my cousin CG recognise this relation and put her foot innit and say something like "oi, o oe la laga fa'akakau i ai le blog a Goddess a").

well, anyhow, like i said, I have this relative.

Bloody brilliant mind. So brilliant that as a youngest, he was the pride and joy of the family, village, church, district, from Falealupo to Manono Island to Asau Forest and back.
Anyhow, his brilliance was noticed by visiting teachers, ...palagis from like, overseas places like Amerika!!! wow! lol.
Every time I got home, his mother would boast " Eh! these palagis from Utah were saying he is really brilliant and should go to like, a special school and stuff, he just needs a sponsor... oka se poko!"

With this brilliance came the adoration any parent would have of their child, they doted over him, revelled in his success, pardoned him from feaus, got him 'whatever' he wanted, even momma busted their nonexistent bank account at CCK to buy a puuurtty ofu for the prizegivings.
Then came the year that mattered, and instead of doing well....he fecked it up so bad that he didn't even secure a pass in most subjects.
Yes, this is the boy wonder that was the pride and joy of the indigenous nation.
Now, I've moaned about this before, and I will do it again because instead of the boy dealing with consequences, his parents pat his back and IGNORE the problem.
They naturally enrol him into another programme, and instead of learning from his mistake, he continues like before, hanging with his friends, camping on FB with his snazzy phone and being supported financially by others. Naturally.
Every time he is told off or people (rightly) are sick of his shit, he get all dramatic and says suicidal things...the first time I saw this, I panicked, I thought, "OMG, you can't do that! we love you! don't be stupid!"
So we continued to cottonwool him and because we didn't want him to jump off a cliff, no one would tell him off, or be mean to him, ...everyone was too scared to tell him the truth because no one wants blood on their hands.
No one.
And so the suicidal threats continue, yet more pleas for sympathy and attention.
And it angers me, because he had the world at his feet, the whole fekking family and everything one could ask, and he screwed it up.
Spoilt rotten to a fault.
What sickens me is his parents FAILURE to deal with him, to talk to him even! Can't they see the monster they have created? Are they so proud that they choose to live in his past glories and refuse to face reality?
I ask, again and again, at what point do you stop in your tracks and say "wow, I'm raising a child that can't distinquish cause and consequence, can't admit failure and fails to even try".
The Moral of the story:  Eh, kailo se, e sao ai le kala foi lele, e ese a le poko ia ae a le lava le faaukauka, ia, ga'o le U.F.A. le mea e maua.

Over and under.

Monday, October 03, 2011

To'a mai le tai Samoa e...Hold your horses please

So, in the aftermath of this Rugby World Cup, we still have much to be appreciative for, our team played their hearts out and gave it their all (bar one Pantene model).
But at the same time, our loss has exposed a weakness about us, our people, that we are all too familiar with.
Once upon a time, our people used to win with pride and lose with a lot of dignity, faamatalii'ness and a basketful of wisdom.
Now, we are reduced to a nation of sore losers and whiners because of the incompetence and ignorance of a few.
Once upon a time, we gathered in humility and discussed our losses, now we bitch and moan on social networks and so go low as to threaten the ref and say things that would have gotten you a salu lima across your facials from your mother.

Don't get me wrong...Gawd, I too am hurting about those unjust decisions, but what am I going to achieve by being a dumbass on facebook? How is my online threats going to make IRB change? (IRB change? hah! nice joke Goddess).

Yup - this RWC is exposing that weakness we all know,  the fia ai kae vale disorder.

Oi aue i le mala ua tele.  

Friday, September 30, 2011

Well done Manu Samoa!

wow - that game last night - was amazing.
who cares that we didn't win, we gave South Africa a run for their Bokke and my God.....Lemi, Lemi, are My Man! Faasavalu, Williams,...what the are all MY winners !!!!

Ua faafetai ua faafetai, ua malie mata i vaai, Manu Samoa, malo le tau o le taua.

Other priceless moments:
Habana dropping his nuts.

I also am sooooo impressed with the team at Digicel Samoa who pledged $7000 towards Tuilagi's mouthguard fine.
John Campbell raised the remainder in a sausage sizzle with NOSH supermarket, Ponsy, and people generously gave $20, $50, even $350 for a sausage., well, for Samoa.
Good stuff...Campbell is totally getting a matai title when he goes to Safotulafai, haha!

So yes, lots of winners but we all know who the LOSERS are in this tournament.
Those wankers at IRB.
And another to join them is the effing Ref - for some shoddy decisions and especially for red carding Williams....fai mai e a Michael Jones "That was just a gentle push" bahaha.

I reckon Samoa and every other nations who feels hard done by, BOYCOTTS the tournament next time.

Anyway, Malo Manu, malo le tapuai Samoa!

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Thinking of you Nyds xx

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Conversations in this household

J:Whose the Tongan in the Canadian team?
F:No, hes in Japan, not Canada.
J:Oh...wipe the snot off the boys face,
F:NZ would wanna lose coz thats the easy way forward
J:Yeah, but they cant lose to a substandard French side.
F:Maeva go look after the boy
M:But Im hungry!
FJ: Cant you wait till halftime!!!!!
M:But Mom! I'm really really hungry!
...goes to the kitchen and helps herself to the kekesaiga.
F: Can you get me one too?
J: Wow - that controversial Samoan player is gay.
F: So, he's not the first. pass the kekesaiga please.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Samoa vs Wales *this is not about the rugby* post

...hmmmm, i really have little interest in talking about the game aye, I don't know why.
Its not really because we lost, or because Tasesa played for Wales or that Eliota got his panties in a twist or that Tuilagi didnt get much ball.
It's just that, well - its a bridge and get under it boys. lol.

But lets get onto the good things about the game:

1. The pride in both team supporters,...seeing my piece of shit town painted in vibrant island and welsh colours. Seeing my neighbours who don't even acknowledge me, come out in BLUE and RED to cheer my team and then giving me apple pie on Tuesday morning to say sorry we lost!!

2. The National Anthem that made me cry, because it was sooooooo beautiful. what a makagaga guy!

3. Seeing many people I have not seen in years, travelling from everywhere to cheer the team on.

4. Us gettin' more airtime than the team thanks to my 'ahem - loud' headgear.

5. Looking across the field and seeing 2 equally crazy large tuigas rocking from side to side - EVEN when Wales was winning, lol....go Chi Chi and Lisa! I burned my fingers for a good cause. Thank you.

6. Having the Pusalalau delegation grace us with their formidable presence. auuuuu Isa! lol

7. Knowing that for MOST of the players, they gave that game their all, and some more. And I am still proud of their determination.

8. Eh, that's enough! this positive shit is giving me a headache.

In other world news:
-Tuifiti has 3 teeth coming through all at once, so he has been a bit of a whinger like his father. Thank you Bonjela!
-MM was sick for 2 weeks, so she was on antibiotics that wasn't working, so Frenchy took her to A&E and got a stronger one, Curam - by next morning, her whole body had flared up and was reacting to the new thank god, we rushed back and get her off it, shes fine again. No more augmentin for missie here.
- Am back to work (only 3 days a week) next week and Tuif goes to same daycare as MM...I think ALL of my pay will go to his daycare costs....epic fail.

fa laia and FAAMALOSI MANU SAMOA!!!!
The moment the van pulled in and Hamilton was never the same,...welcoming them with a very fitting banner, haha
The Ladies and Hen before the game, ...kalofa e i gai kagaka behind them, lol
Lastly, Chi chi who we were able to see from across the field, and most likely visible from the Space it.

Finally a photo of ALL the 5 pusalalaus (lol) with their "hats" fai mai ai le palagi...and Hen's dead chicken. Photo belongs to Ulalei the bringcess of Europe. Thanks for the rental.
Once again, the tuigas made it onto some form of media, we were in 3 different parts of the field and yet we all got snapped out....seki a!

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Samoa Namibia and trip to Rotovegas and back

Amazing atmosphere.
Great way to start the tournament.
Samoans from all over NZ converged in Rotorua and my God, what a wonderful feeling.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Telesa, The Convenant Keeper...a MUST READ!

Today is the online launch of Lani Wendt-Young's book, Telesā: The Covenant Keeper.

A Young Adult urban fantasy romance set in modern day Samoa that draws on the legends of teine Sa (but with a huge amount of creative license and imagination.) It's a novel filled with action, intrigue, elements of the supernatural and some romance thrown in for good measure. It's available for electronic download in a variety of formats from two online bookstores, Smashwords  and Amazon  priced at $5.99. The print copy of the book will be launched in Samoa in October and will also be available for purchase via

You can download the first few chapters of the book as a free sample from either online bookstore.
You can read more about Lani's amazing writing and the Telesa book at her blog:
More updates can also be found on Facebook and Twitter

France vs Japan tonight.

It. Was. Awesome.

This is an example of how very organised we are in this household (Not).
We decided yesterday arvo that we were going to watch France-Japan. Frenchy booked the tickets, our friends Nad and Phil hopped onboard and Ang in AKL called to say she was in, this morning.
So we had everything sorted.
I was up at 7am (on a Saturday morning) to draw our banner, make some hairpieces, look for some ofus to wear and look for some fishnet stockings.
Aue kafefe e i le mala ua tele,
At 10am, I remembered something,...THE CHILDREN!
I forgot to arrange who to leave the children with. Bad mother! Penalty!
Thankfully, this is when my years of bailing others out came rushing back.
20 minutes later of frantic calls, I had Stella and co. ready to adopt MM for the weekend and for the rest of the day, I was fielding calls from friends and two aunties in AKL to take the neglected boy. Plus my darling friend JCH insisted we brough himon the way. At this point, I am grateful for having such amazing, loving people in our lives....especially on days like these, when I'm too busy glue-ing hairpieces and being the selfish cow that I, we can't all be Superwomen!
Anyhow, we dashed off at 2:45pm - arrived in Botany at 4:15, dropped off Tuif with Aunty An and off to Grey Lynn to pick up the supermodela.
2 minutes to her house, the fuggen cops pulls us over, and before he could lecture the driver, we told him we were in a rush, just write the infringment notice already and we'll be on our way.
I'm more convinced he stopped us coz it was a French frog driving, with a Bokk on the pax seat. That is a crime right now. hah!
anyway, i'm loading pix tomorrow, too tired.
But lets just say, that game 'atmosphere' was amazing. Everyone was in good spirits, singing, just good times. Indescribable. The stuff of legends (:
The end.
Manuia le Po.