Wednesday, October 27, 2010

When you thought you'd heard it all...tsk tsk

Sorry, this is a quickie post because ua leva le po. leai se mea school ua faia. big faalavelave (:

On Monday (Labour Day), the P'sens came over for dinner with....panipopo.
Our friend Nets was making them and decided to drop a tray off with the above.
I was both happy to inhale the panipopo but slightly taken aback by the fact that Nets didn't drop off a tray for me.
Aiu much?
So I called to blow her ears off and get my head blown off instead, she left several messages on phone while wasn't switched on.
- yessir, I am still utterly hopeless with carrying my phone, responding to calls and texting. I just dont have the energy for it.

Annnnnnnnnyhow, in the midst of all this catch up and faikakalarations, I find out that people we know very well have had some problems, which may or may not have resulted in a physical altercation that is commonly called beating up your wife fasi ava.

Again -
I am sick and tired of this.
What can I do? (and dont say be there to listen and support - I am sick of the excuses).
This is not the first couple, nor the last who I thought I knew well that have ended up like this.
I am sick of it.
Men who do this - that I know of - have so much in common:
They are normally nice, friendly even, social, caring (ioe) but they have some weaknesses:
They do not have the intellectual capacity to deal with problems in a sensible (non violent) manner.
They hit the roof, hurt their partner and then go begging them and declaring their love while the partners face is fulafula from the beating.
The women they are with are so smitten by them that they see past their Sickness.
Last by not least, all the men I know who do this are: SAMOAN.
They think it is okay to "faasa'o" (correct) their partner thru violence.
I asked two of these shits why they do it and typical laughing response..."se ua ova le fiapoko ae kasi a le aiga o le po, uma ma le guku oso".
Women should not allow this to happen to them, there is help available, we (your family and friends) are here to support you, and take care of you, but at the end of the day, YOU have to find the courage to get out of that hole. We wont judge you, We care. We want the best for you.
While you are alive. this time.
We love you.


ulalei said...

Preach it sister! If there's one (of many) thing that gets me so riled up, its the whole stupid Samoan attitude (and sorry to say but it's not just men its women who think this!) that women deserved to be beaten because ova le guku oso. Ova le fiapoko. Ova le fiakagaka. Ova le a ma le a ma le a... More like ova le palaai those freaken wankers and they should get their balls cut up and fed to the dogs... eh, no, not even worth to be fed to the dogs... ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (told you i get riled up! LOL)

Goddess said...

Amen sistahood in the neighbourhood- Your riled up response mirrored my reaction and some more when I knew this. It's so demeaning! and worse, you can do nothing! if you want to help - you will be told your help will ruin back off and "DONT GET INVOLVED" now my question is, should I still get involved when she's 6 feet under and no longer responding? farken stupid men who are too shallow to face up to problems. damn it. phew....calm down.. me!

kuaback said...

how about the ones who admit they deserved the beatings? (say whaaaaaa?)
and the ones who keep covering up saying "it was just one time, he'll never do it again and that he still loves her blah blah blah"
and the ones who say "ku'u ai pea, he'll learn his lesson soon when he turns around and I'm GONE" but then that was all talk because she still stayeda with sure he'll learn his lesson when she's 6ft under.

arrgghhh KILLING ME people.

Goddess said...

ga la, typical response. This is how bad it is, I ended up going to Women's Refuge sessions and doing extra papers about Domestic violence just so I could learn more. well, this is what I learnt: You can do NOTHING until the victim herself is ready, (in her mind) to get out. The more you tell her to leave him - they more she will love and protect him, and the more she will isolate herself from her loved ones. She can't just get up and go (esp with kids, costs and the false hope of him loving her till death do us part)
sao lelei kuaback.
This is what pisses me off now:
the lies and the deceit.