Saturday, October 10, 2009

I hate White Sunday now

White Sunday this morning was celebrated with the usual skits of the old testament, along with the obligatory robes, action songs in a four hour service.
So nothing new,
Aside from the gorgeous clothes, hair bands, tuxedos and the Michael
Jackson 'Heal the World' finale.
I can't help but realise the huge difference between the child born in
Samoa and the child born in Middlemore. The home grown coconut
bounces to the front and yells out his tauloto, when they stutter, they were threatened by their parents on the front row...'Fai lau kaoloto e!' with the left arm gesturing towards the jandal.
The Kiwi child stands shy, turns from side to side, his loving mother supporting him by his side, saying his words with him.
The skits were fun, some sunday school teachers have bounced into this century and were using current affairs within their performances, which were entertaining.
But the rest was the usual Naamanu, Mesako, Apeteniko and the crew zz zzz..."Ona fai ai ai lea o Naamanu, ia ua lelei, o le'a faapena lava" and the "Ia ua lelei lau afioga i le tupu" in unison.

I did enjoy seeing the excitement in the children, busying themselves among the frills of their little dresses and matching shoes.
I loved seeing the joy in the grandparents faces watching their child say their tauloto.
I loved seeing that children were happy and showing it too.

What I didn't like, were the relatives who flew in from Sydney Australia ($155 return to Htown, f*(k you very much) to celebrate with their families here, bringing with them an arrogance that disturbed the peace among the humble congregation. Isa! Two months in Oz and already "peeking up the feesh and cheeps myte" fefe ia mulipu.

anyhow, today was a day for the children, and towards the end of the ceremony, a song was dedicated to the children who have perished in the tsunami, the song was "Moomooga"
Those who know me well know that if there was one thing that would reduce me to tears, it would be this song.
I started weeping for those parents in Lalomanu and elsewhere especially the mothers who have no more children to fuss over and dress and feed and sasa and love and care for.
Gosh, this life is so fucken unfair!
It felt so wrong sitting in that smug and beautifully decorated church while not far away so many are suffering.
We are so bloody selfish):
With this in mind, I just sat there sobbing among others, talk about a way to end white sunday.
To hell with White Sunday, this stupid day should have been cancelled this year, no one deserves to be happy!
I left before toonai, having lost any interest in any celebrations. It just feels wrong.
And then to add to my woes, I started watching Tagata pasifika and its coverage of the tsunami....and once again, turned on the water works because of the burial of little children in a mass grave.
This is so much for me (who is not even closely related to them) I cannot imagine what they are going through. It is a mother's worst nightmare.
So sad, so sad. So draining, so hard-to-move-on, so so painful.

I might see a counsellor this week, I think I'm falling apart):

No comments: