Friday, December 25, 2009

Manuia le Kerisimasi ma le Tausaga Fou

Wishing you all a very merry Christmas and a Joyous New Year.
I hope that 2010 brings hope, contentment and satisfaction to you, but happiness and achievement would be a bonus a ea.

As for me and mine, we're in Wellington with my Mom, sister MJ & hubby and the great Hilbron family. We had too much to eat yesterday and much more to drink.

The kids got presents to last them 2 whole hours and the adults got more champagne than they could handle.
Seki a.
We're missing Aunty CJ who is in Austria at the moment. She's skyping with the rest of the aiga basket.
LJ went back to Sachicken two days before Xmas to be with her fantastic four.
SJ in AKL with Lina n kids. Chris, Rocky n family in Savaii with the Tiatias.
Neil in Massey wt the other Tiatias(Lokeni).
...We have 2 more days till we fly back to go camping for a few days and more bubbles and food than we should have...
oh the joys of the holidays....

alofa atu ma evaeva malie,

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Send Money Pacific

It's that time of the year again, for all you coconuts living abroad in Niu Sila village and the itumalo of Ausetalia, and you suddenly get a phone call that your sixth removed first cousin's dad's Uncle Pakalu has died.
Or your aunty's brothers wife Aunty Kuluku is getting married
Or Pastor Alaga is celebrating the new church hall
And the Womens committee is blessing their new uniform
Or the choir is having a special day
 And your extended family are giving titles to your relatives from Sagone,

and YOU have been elaborately and gratefully thought of, as a valued member of your esteemed family.
YOU are special, YOU will bring pride and joy and happiness to our family.
And like Konai Helu Thaman laments
"YOU, will bring them fame and western style education
With your second hand car...
YOU, the choice of my parents
I have no other choice"
oka oka e.....
anyway, the bottom line is,

Before you send that gift of LOVE home, have a look on this sendmoneypacific website to compare rates and make sure youre not being robbed by Western Union and the like.
Don't forget that the rate you see on the wall is NOT including the hidden transfer rate and then the highway robbery that comes with it.
Just because they only charge $12.00 for sending doesn't mean thats all it costs. Not a chance.
Good luck and may the tree outside your house bear $100 bills in the new year.
Soifua ma ia manuia le Kerisimasi ma mea ua o le'a tutupu etc etc.

Here's another beautiful book gift idea while we're at it, Konai Helu Thaman's You the choice of my parents.


Monday, December 14, 2009

Good on Coconuts Beach Resort and Aggies for getting on with the programme

Hows this for a GREAT holiday deal,

Samoa 5 nights from $1,015* pp
Return economy class airfares from Auckland to Samoa with Air New Zealand.
5 nights accommodation at the Aggie Grey's Lagoon Resort and Spa in Samoa in a Deluxe Oceanview Room
Return airport transfers
Full buffet breakfast daily
Plus: 2 FOR 1 SPA BONUS - book a spa treatment of your choice at Manaia Polynesian Spa and receive a second treatment of equal or lesser value for Free
Aggies have great fiafia nights and great atmosphere. and cocktails by the pool.

Similar DEAL FOR COCONUTS Beach Resort with return flights with DJ, accom, meals, transfers, use of non morotised facilities.
 Coconuts chef makes the yummiest oka on earth.

Think about it....this is the only time we'll ever see stupid crazy cheap deals like these with these properties.
Travel: Valid for travel 19 Nov 2009-31 Mar 2010, or see your travel agent for details...actually, book online, its cheaper (:

GOOD ON Coconuts and Aggies for getting on with the show and coming up with these great great deals. In fact, as I type this, 3 people have called about booking with Coconuts and they already can't get the dates they prefer due to huge interest....I LOVE IT!!!! image of paradise and kiwiana on your wall...

I just stumbled across Daniela's gorgeous artwork, LOVE IT!!! Have a breeze through her work and, wouldn't these pieces make priceless christmas pressies!! I've illegally copied over some of the ones I LURVE so you can see what i'm rambling on about, but theres loads more on her website.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

You can lose weight in Samoa ....serious!

Look at this Samoa Observer story of inspiration.
Michelle Mcdonald has lost weight, and she looks so so so gorgeous in her new look.
I sure hope all the vivacious naturally beautiful women of Samunda will take heed and be inspired.
As I usually do, I shall illegal copy and paste the images from the article to tell my fagogo:

This is Michelle's after photo in Nina's article....somehow, I can't copy the before photo, but you can view it on the article.
Anyhow, the point is, IT IS POSSIBLE. YOU CAN DO IT.
And may this be a message and a challenge on a Sunday afternoon inbetween your 6 course toonai snack at 11am.

It is possible - just include exercise into our lifestyles.
And have more meals throughout the day rather than wolfing down Pinatis at midday and the kaleve mamoe with ulu kao at 8:30pm.

eh, its so easy preaching about it but its such a very foreign thing to actually follow.
Its so much cheaper to eat rubbish and its such an expense to eat healthy. i have tried to eat healthy on numerous occasions in Apia but it is so hard.
For example, I decided to get some fruits, $5.00 for a measly kai fa'i at the market. $6.00 for a bag of malnourished tomatoes....BUT, its only $4.50 for a yummy spicy kaleve and rice at Pinati.
Wholemeal breads are out of the question. Your panties will drop at the price of these in the supermarkets.

But on the plus side, fish is cheaper, at the fish market or even at Farmer Joes - sashimi - yummy ---with Vailima, yum yum drunk yum!
Tuna cans are cheaper - but then again, I like my tuna in lololo oil)-:

Whenever I order salads, theyre drowned in dressing and more calories.


We need a 'culture of wellbeing' in order for this to truly happen. We need to have more activities that make exercising and healthy eating normal and okay. We need to feel that it is okay to exercise, it is okay to admit that we are grossly obese. We need see the problems associated with obesity as it is: problems.
But more importantly, we need a 'culture of wellbeing' - more sports activities, more avenues for women to exercise, subsidies on healthy food, lots of encouragement and ...umm and, world peace.


Friday, December 11, 2009

Kaisi le pulekasi a Peleka

I'm a little peeved by what the NZ High Commissioner is wearing. Doesn't she have advisers or maybe her colleagues telling her what to wear? Gawd, if she was my boss, I'll pull her aside and say 'Hun, please don't wear that colour, you end up blending into the wall, and you'll simply get lost among the siapo designs'.
This colour choice does not do her any favours in her skin tone. She would have looked great in a red puletasi. But if that's too much, she couldn't have gone wrong with black. Or blue. Tsk, tsk, get it right Honorable Commisioner.

The Australian High Commissioner definitely got the memo about the 'wear the right colour' attire. I bet his wife stops him at the door and orders him to don the right 'bright' colour.
It's something to look forward to ...will he wear the marroon elei today?

Or the limey mosooi green ?

He has been favouring the red one lately.,

**All photos copied illegally from Samoa Observer. Sorry and Thank You for the rental.

Sunday, December 06, 2009

Samoa Observer fun reads this week

Prostitution in Samoa is a hot topic on Samoa Observer this week....not sure what the kerfuffle is all about.
Its not as if its a new thing....isn't it the oldest profession? Isn't Maria Magdelene a revered sex worker?
And its not as if most some Samoan men at all levels of our community are having dinner at home.
No, that would be downright naive to presume.
Most Many Samoan men are definitely getting serviced elsewhere and there are many many open garages around town and everywhere., some are free, some charge a small fee, some offer discounts, some even offer warrants of fitness for extended periods of time.
Last time I was out, a Samoan woman who is married to a very well known personality who features in the paper and on TV a lot was out with her friends, she was no longer with him.
He found himself a young garage to service his needs. Pity his preference is pretty low because the new garage...looks strikingly like a garage.
Anyhow, she must be doing something right for him because despite his advanced age, he's been wearing a permanent grin on his face and a sizable gold chain round his neck...sheeze, whats with midlife crisis men and thick gold chains???? it makes them even more cheesysleazy!
Show me a faithful man with a gold thick chain and I say "You man whore you!"...and even if he sues me for the accusation, I will still insist.

I think the Government should legalise prostitution in Samoa, but then again, that would mean they will have to pay market rates for their monthly servicing.
Pity really.

....its hard to address this issue in Samoa because it says in the bible that you don't be a shitstirrer because it might happen to you and yours (Mathew 7:1), (sorry, my Bible is the Reader's Digest version).

If you think about it, its such a sticky (ew!) issue, want to be serviced, and they pay well. Poor women want the money and they can't find jobs. Some don't have the education, so this is all they know.

I know a freaky sad story about a woman named Ange* who was a bit of a village bicycle and was not discreet about it. She used to service most of the Lalomalava rugby team, and possibly the rest of the Faasaleleaga district. She had a child or more in the Matautu area and then moved to our village.
She had a child here too, and then expanded her business to Piula and the atu Atua.
Anyhow, she sort of dissapeared for a few years and then my CNN relative found her again, back in Apia, paler and skinnier and with a few nuts and bolts missing up there, she's sorta lost the plot.
Turns out, she went international with her services and set up shop in the notorious red light port of Pago Pago, American Samoa.
The Americana dollar was giving her huge returns for her meagre services.
One day...(this is where you say "Aue!" in order for me to continue),....she met a group of fishermen who had come off a fishing vessel there, she did not remember much more, except, she woke up every now and then, and realised she was on a large ship, she was locked in a small room, and she had been drugged thing was, some authorities found her on the ship and she was taken to Los Angeles and detained as an illegal alien.
When she was questioned, she was completely confused, drugged and lost.
Apparently, two women have died on the ship.
She survived but is screwed for life.
She was deported back to Samoa and I sorta feel sorry for this woman, because this is all she knows, her body is all she knows to give, and give, and give.
She is only one in so so so so many Samoan women using their bodies to make a living.
Ange's story made me so so so sad.'re thinking "Was the American dollar worth it in the end?"
How can this be? How can it go so so so wrong? How many Ange's are out there working through prostitution just to make ends meet?

Whatever the talk is from politicians and Police and rararara, this problem will persist, because as far as men in power are concerned, "Whats the problem?"





Tis the season to be disorderly

The silly season has definitely kick started - parties to attend, dresses to wear, babysitters to arrange, bikini waxes to be had, credit cards to be maxed, families to see, families to not see,...ah, so much to think about.

Feels like everyone comes out of hibernation to mix and mingle at the end of the year.

Lani was with us for a few days, loved having her home...we never run out of things to talk and retalk about, and I get the physio treatment and my back aligned while we talk...wooohooooo!

Also - she helped MM put up the Christmas tree and decorate to appear some time this century...

luv luv luv it.

Saturday was also Natalie's hens and we booked a unit in TRG -9 silly people in fairy wings and a very joyous bride running around demanding condoms and all kinds of weird antics...

and a bad bad hangover...It sucks being hungover with a 2 year old!

..this week, we have MM's daycare Christmas Party and my work's Christmas party for families on Thursday.
Tomorrow is my work's  'planning day'....we can't say 'party' anymore because we are going through a recession and a restructuring....whatever! call it whatever it'll be the same outcome. haha

...what else, Mom is coming for Xmas, Omani delegation arrive tomorrow, Lani's bday on the 19th,...oka.

Happy holidays people!
Don't drink and drive.


Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Bon voyage Oxford fellow...ship of the ring(:

O ou mama na ...will send some pisupo(:NOT!
and don't worry, I've told William hun to look after you when youre there!

Saturday, November 28, 2009

The installation ceremony and the political agenda, by M. Tuimaleali'ifano

i'o lelei!

His account of title bestowment is so crassly true and sad, and I highly recommed that every Samoan or palagi who has been offered a chiefly title read this before accepting.
There is something painfully 'ugly' about the greed of a samoan matai that this author has perfectly presented....and this is widespead in Samoa.
There are good matais, hard working ones (serious!), but for many - they are simply living for the next faalavelave to siphon the wealth, livelihood and happiness out of the suffering.
...many turn up to the funerals to get their pusa apa
...many will call their relations abroad for money at the drop of a mat(:
...many will go looking for the next faalavelave to usu to, and sing the praises of the family in return for chching.
...gawd, Ive seen the salelesi at work in Apia, I was disgusted, I wanted to shoot them! I am glad this is forbidden in Savaii. These are those rookie kulukus chiefs who 'show up' to faalavelaves shamelessly to demand money and goods.

There is also a reference in this article to the rainforest preservation convenant signed between Salelologa and the Swedish Foundation: Well., I hope that these Salelologa matai NEVER get their demands from the Government because they have been so so greedy with $$$. Serves them right for being greedy.

Its all about the monero ...tsk tsk...

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Thank Jah for FijiLive

Ive been following the Miss South Pacific Pageant through Fijilive and I am so very impressed with the daily photo updates, am loving it!
Its gonna be tough this year with most of the girls being so so so GORGEOUS!!!
If the Judges are palagish, Miss Tahiti would win, she is Miss World material....which may not be in her favour if there are ancient traditionalists at the judging table.
Either way, I am impressed with the calibre of Tongan winners in recent years, theyre really tapping into their export market for stunners...and its paying off.

Pity our home bred Jacinda couldn't make it cos she would have been brilliant, though I must commend Miss Pomele for her charisma and personality.
I do like the pics of the girls having tea with the military leader, it shows such a lovely and Pacific man revelling in the midst  of island keols.
My second winning option is Miss Fiji, she looks very elegant and has that teine matua air about her, so she can carry the crown with dignity. Oka! fisi i kua le pale o Queen Elisapeta.
Miss Cook Islands is pretty, but lost in a blender sort of way, which is shocking for the Atu Kukis. They are usually on the ball with their girls but this year seems a bit lacking. Maybe they've changed the chaperones or changed the designer or something....whatever it is, she just isn't shinning through.
Well done to Tuvalu and Kiribati for showing up, they improve each year, so give it a few more years and they will win. What they need to work on now is trying to establish a distinct 'image' so they are not mixed up as one and the same.
Of the two Samoas, I am in admiration of the American's step towards truly traditional materials as opposed to our Samoas obsession with creative big bridal dresses and use of cook island material.
Miss Aotearoa New Zealand is always an oddity in this event, depsite being the biggest country, the actual owner of the Miss Aotearoa NZ name is a smallish group who really don't do a great job....and this shows in the girl wearing tights at the first day of the Pageant...shock horror for a Pacific event.....where are all the great Maori designers who would have loved to lend a dress...sheeze, I would have lent her my work skirt if she asked!
Miss Niue, another one whose blending in, and her traditional ofus are tragic!
I am a little concerned at the excessive use of Thinlizzie and foundations on the brown complexion. Miss Tonga almost looks like a giesha at a Tokyo railway with her caked up face...yet she looks browningly stunning without it. Miss Samoa seems more used to her application because its not as glaring.
All in all, Fiji is doing a brilliant job hosting, and Samoa and other nations must watch and learn from the best. Also, they have used the 5 days to hold the pageant, so a different event daily...better than a 6 hours sit-down in Apia.

Sonja Hunter's influence is also another reason for this huge renewed interest in the Pageant, she has managed to round up more support and more girls from other islands....and it helps that her former FIJI Visitors Bureau mate now sits at Bainimarama's roundtable, Bernadette Ganilau Rounds, now the Minister of Tourism and various other posts.
Sonja would have also gotten Am Samoa on her side, since David Vaeafe, the boss of AmSa Tourism is a former STA Marketing Manager(NZ) yeah, things are truly looking up for Pacific in terms of Pageantry and the sort. The next step now should be an overhaul of the whole concept to make it more relevant to the Pacific today....ohh, ohh and world peace!!!


Tuesday, November 24, 2009 can be uploaded...very scruffily

Can this be done without having a shower too?(Relle's photo)

fly swatter

Orange in the backyard

Aunty, what the heck are you teaching my child?

Relle took this image, luv it!

Aunty Relle n MMoelagi after the TAPA Dinner, mid Nov 09

10 reasons why we love it here

1. Fresh strawberries (and oranges, apples, kiwifruit, veges)
2. Lots of great friends
3. Meat is affordable
4. Not as busy as other places
5. Free or heavily subsidized children's medication
6. Lots of things to do for children
7. Everyone minds their own business (aside from our faikakala friends who are ready inviting us for coffee just to pry into our and ours lives (-:
8. Close to both coasts; Raglan and Mount/TRG for the beach
9. Close to Ruapehu for skiing n Taupo.
10. Because its not Auckland. Pugi (:(actually, because for the money we saved to buy our house, we'd have just afforded half a garage in Mangere, so there!)

Not long to go before before WLG to see MJ and co...yay!!!!!

hmmm,still can't post pics, damn it!!!

The Animal Farm

Some time last week, I couldn't get MM to sleep. And it was 11pm on a week night.
I read her 3 books, but she was hyper and bouncing all over
5 more books and I was beginning to skip pages and make things up But she was still buzzing
So I yelled at her, sent her to her bed, switched off the light. Shut the door. "Bwaaaaahhhhh, Daddyyy, Papa....Mommy hurt me....bwahhhhh"
Frenchy comes running and when I told him she was making things up she really turned on the waterworks AND the amplified cries.
Her sobs were like "you abusive woman you, you turned my father against me!"
Anyhow, she won this battle, MM=1 Momma = 0
I took her to the guest room (her Aunty's room, she calls it) and told her if she went to sleep, we will go to the Farm the following week. She quietly but happily gathered her blanket, walked to her room, and asked me to 'get out of my room please"
...Why didn't I think of this at 8pm?
ANyhow, that promise has been getting her to sleep early every night..."we will see the horses and the cows in the morning".

I took the day off today and went with her to daycare.
All 15 of her 2 year old mates were all ready with hats, sunblock and tons of excitement to get to the farm.
The highlight of course was the Bus ride, not the farm.
Funny how 2 year old's shrieks with excitement and 14 others follow suit.
One cries and the rest force tears too.
The first part of the visit was a trailer ride - MM loved it, she hopped on the second trip without me....there I was waiting excitedly for her and she completely ignored me. little miopi!
The farmer took us to see and feed the ducks - kids loved this...MM was over the moon about feeding the ducks, chickens and goats straight out of her bare wee hands!!!
She also helped throw the hay for the cows, and she did enquire about the cow's "boobies"..."Why she got 4 boobies?"
When we got back on the bus- she exclaimed "that was lots of fun aye!"
I dropped her back at daycare and went to work from 1-5pm...picked her up after work and reminded her to tell Frenchy all about her day at the Farm. She did, she said "Papa, I was on the bus today!"

Monday, November 16, 2009

To the very beautiful girl

To the very beautiful girl who has be blessed unexpectedly, much to the outrage of some short-sighted people.
I hope that you know that you are so very special to so many,
and they are the very people that matter to you and yours, so stop
and smile (:
They matter even more when the dust has settled and the au faikakalas coconut wireless have found another young soul to bark at

If everything seem so overwhelming and against you now,
just think, ...there will be a political fallout tomorrow, a car accident next week and another ribbon cutting ceremony that will dominate the headlines.
Meanwhile life goes on and you are needed so so so much in this world.

Look on the bright side, you came forward with your situation.
Who knows how many others would have 'dealt' with the problem differently?
Focus on what is important in life right now, the rest of the rifraf can pacrack on, like one great man once said "kukuu ai pea le vale e fasa fasa a make" transliterated "live and let live(-:"

Stay positive and strong and hopeful. That is my prayer. (when I come round to saying a prayer this month)
Amene ma alleluia.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Apparently, ranting about the Government of Samoa is no longer permitted

and I thought to myself.....what a load of .....
theyre really sensitive at the moment about any criticism, ouch

..... .... and that is exactly what is wrong!

For you Terry, I will remove/change this, but it doesn't change my views (:

wow, there are actually more than 17 people reading my fagogos!
At the retort of the Editor of the Savali newsletter, I have changed, (NOT REMOVED) this post.
...which is on MY BLOG, by me, for me, about whatever comes to mind, fank you very big-if-you-dont-like-it-put-a-lid-on-it-cheers-Beyonce(-:

Sorry to your familia who are affected by this blog, please know that I am only saying what I believe is true, same reason why what you write is true.
As nature has it, our truths just fekoai like a right hand driven by Koomaka.
I'd have thought you'd be used to the woes of public scrutiny by now,
This is my avenue to discuss MY issues in my obscure corner of cyberville, at no time have I begged you to venture only came here because you googled your name.
In any case, you got your wish, I have obliged and removed any sensitive comments that may hurt your finagalo.
Sorry for my wrong fai mai ia le isi kamaloa mai Pakamea
....moving on, just read the article and have an open mind about the writer's positioning..... awww, it sucks having the watch what I say when prying eyes are gawking this way, Auoka !
Look at his article about the state of media in Samunda
Every time the Government 'mentions' radical ideals, it is not to loosely chit chat about it, instead, it already has set in motion a plan to make that ideal a reality, irrespective of the outrage from the public.
Clearly, they have done this first phase well...mention a media council, isolate the actual 'media', victimise key parties and then gather the (BIG DELETE) of government to agree to a council headed by:
CEO of Samoa Media Council or to borrow from the revered Editor's plan: Samoa Broadcasting Standards would be his good self
President: President of the defunct JAWS.
ACEO: who else is in Savali?
This will be the death of freedom of speech as we know it.
ANyhow, I just can't get myself to believe two words this Editor says because I used to like reading about his views of corruption and govt and then chch$$$ing, he cooperates like a good (deleted deleted) for the PM. Delete Delete
I have copied thee good Editor's comment here:
Paramount in all this is that we come up with an (media council)institution that best caters to the welfare of our profession, our industry and most important of all, to those we serve", that's exactly where the problem is, you serve the PM.
End of Story.

Why is it important to focus my discussions on personalities rather than issues? Because issues are not objective as is, issues come out of personalities who conjure up the issues and in this case, the issues affect 171,000 people of the supposed free world.
I leave you with this,. "At what point did one's conscience take a back seat and let propaganda take precedence?"

DISCLAIMER: Please note that these are my views and mine alone, and do not reflect nor get support of any of my relations, colleagues, neighbours and pets

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Samoa, a 100 years ago and long before

This is all I want for Christmas, a copy of this book. I have repeatedly tried to smuggle my mother's copy out of the country to no avail, and so I have realise that maybe its time i got myself a copy! Speaking of books, I have added to my fobular links the Head of State's website where his eloquenly worded speeches are listed. I love reading his work, it is so intelligent, its our answer to Dalai Lama...or better actually. Have a great weekend everyone, i'll be camping at the more deadline and I'm Frreeeeeeeeeeeeee(-: manuia le aso

Ironic, huh

Miss South Pacific, the brainchild of Samoa Tourism (Bureau) is being held in Fiji next week.
This is despite the political fallout between Fiji and the rest of the supposedly democratic Pacific.
I just find so many amusing ironies in all this fickle relationship,...just imagine, Tuilaepa have been insulting Bainimarama all year, I bet if he sets foot on Fiji soil, he will be arrested (here's hoping)( I am hoping Tuilaepa goes!!!
And then, remember there is a media ban at the moment, so what happens when the best contestant wins the pageant but criticises the government?
she loses her crown? they pick another winner?
As for the voting system I bet everyone is voting for their favourite girl without knowing that this is just a joke, Bainimarama is gonna stop the show 2 minutes before announcement and "abrogates" the competition...
...and speaking of contestants, the former Miss Samoa's picture is still listed, so maybe they din't get the memo about the resignation.
All the best to the tauvaga teine, may the best keol win, and please Fiji Military, can you please please arrest our Government representative when they arrive?

Sunday, November 08, 2009

My beautiful Mama has pissed off the Prime Minister of Samoa,...chooohooo

For a man who is known for his cool and arrogant composure, Tuilaepa Sailele Malielegaoi Taepumaosi has definitely ripped his undies over the SUNGO issue.
He wrote a rather angry letter accusing mother dearest and the Ceo of SUNGO for being fiapots and several other accusations. Rather than delve over the details of the letter (there's 2 more angrier ones that didn't leak to the media), which is front page of Samoa Observer, I am just smiling because she's done something that not even the opposition and Tautua could do.
Piss off Tuilaepa, revealing that at the end of the day, he is just a very normal human being with high blood pressure, diabetes, an enlarged ego and very upset relations (one in particular:)
I am laughing about this because I know the truth.
We know the truth,.
Samoa Observer might soon know the truth, if they simply locate the culprit hehe
Tuilaepa knows the truth about his 'in' crowd who are in the SHIT because of dodgy dealings, and he knows that SUNGO leadership will not sit back and condone theft, corruption and's your lesson on transparency served in a afi, chooohoooo! ...and i laugh at his indignant disgust over SUNGO speaking the truth after all, " I gave you a house to use and that doesn't silence you?"

Tuilaepa needs to stop listening to some cry baby relation who got caught with his/her hand in the cookie jar...thus why the donors are wanting accountability and transparency.
He needs to stop and ask,
"whose done the dirty now? and how can I dig myself out of this hole? and perhaps I should butt out of the apolitical work of Non governmental organisations, even if they are the thorn on my side, with their stubborness in opposing the road switch, the land bill that goes against all that we are as Samoans, and the fact that donors prefer to deal direct with NGO because my gang of hoodlums are crooks? awww, I suck!"
E sao ai le tala foi lele, mu loa le lima kapa i le iofi,...problem is, the iofi is just as destructive
Tuilaepa my chubby friend, next time you attack my revered mother publicly, you are simply showing your va'ava'eness and your ignorance.
She does not need to be glorified by you (who are you, muli pu) or by anyone, she is a humble hard working and honest woman who has served her country and her island without asking for money, and without getting fat from taxpayer's sweat and blood.
She is never one to act like an idiot in the face of controversy, thus why she will not reply to your ignorance, but rather, let the donors and the culprit reveal the shameful truth. But oi! the truth will shake the powers that be, noooo, we can't have that
I must confess that I have disquietly supported Tuilaepa through his failings, even defended his crass actions, but this is the last straw.
He is as good as a kae pua'a in my view.
Soifua ma ia manuia outou matua ae ola matou le fanau soifu

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Things are looking up for the Pacific, exciting careers abound ...apply now!

The following message is from Forum Secretariat:

The Employment Opportunity section on the Forum Secretariat Website has been updated.

Title : Cleaner
Content :
30 October 2009
The Pacific Islands Forum Secretariat seeks a Cleaner to provide efficient
cleaning services and will be accountable to the Team Leader Property Services through the Grounds & Services Coordinator. The position encompasses the following major functions:

• Efficient office cleaning operations on a daily basis;
• Recommending policy on cleaning operations; and
• Assisting set-up and preparation of Conference facilities.

Applicants should have a Certificate in housekeeping and with substantial relevant work experience in a similar role. Desirable to have OHS Procedures Awareness and ability to demonstrate exceptional customer service skills and work ethics.

The applicant must also posses a high level of interpersonal skills; ability to set priorities successfully working with minimal supervision; ability to work well with all Secretariat staff; and good oral and written communication skills in English

The starting salary is F$9,551 and includes the provision of life and medical insurance. Interested applicants must download an information package containing the job description and remuneration details. Subject to performance and funding, the position is permanent.

Applications should be addressed to the Secretary General, Pacific Islands Forum Secretariat, Private Mail Bag, Suva, or sent to and should be received by 20 November 2009. To be eligible for this position, applicants must be Fiji nationals.

The Pacific Islands Forum Secretariat is an Equal Opportunity Employer and encourages both men and women to apply.
Member States of the Pacific Islands Forum: Australia, Cook Islands, Federated States of Micronesia, Fiji, Kiribati, Nauru, New Zealand, Niue, Palau, Papua New Guinea, Republic of the Marshall Islands, Samoa, Solomon Islands, Tonga, Tuvalu, Vanuatu.

Curbing my addiction

I've done the unthinkable (Netia and Jenn, be broud).
Ive surrendered my username AND password to Facebook AND Bebo.
I emailed Relle and asked her to change the details so I will never ever have to stop living in reality to maintaining a habit of cyber fluffing. I may be bad company in the next few days as I battle with anger issues and then denial and maybe much later, acceptance.
But who knows.
In the meantime,
Goodbye Facebook - you have been the peanut butter on my toast., but also the dead fly in my kokoalaisa.

next up, Blogger?

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

MM Update, i know, its been a while ...

She is now 2 years, 6 months and like every kid that age, speaks and speaks and screams if she is not adhered to.
Cunning little souls they are...nevertheless a joy and pride in seeing this very child develop and grow and guku oso back at me.
Fefe ia moimimi.
(seevae kosokoso still applies in Niu Sila mate)

She's got more of a cherelle personality - she sings to her own (ahem, pa'ulua) tune and doesn't back down even if she is outrightly wrong.
That could have positives in her determination and confidence.
Her social butterfly-ness is worryingly omega-like, exilihiarating and if unattended, can be disrupting and contagious.
That's something to watch out for.

I am happy though to see the organiser in her, she keeps her wee pocessions in bags and boxes and bags, hidden in corners.
In other words, she's a hoarder like a leilani.
But the beauty of this is she keeps account of her things.
Her shoes. Her ofus. Her crayons.
She is also a mini cleaner, she likes to wipe her table down, bagging her dirty nappy in a blue (has to be blue maamie)plastic bag before disposing of it in the bin.

Her love for the outdoors is definitely from her namesake.
She loves (ahem, uprooting) helping with the gardening.
Frenchy helped her grow beans, carrots, chilli and fennel, and just like the moelagi-factor, she want to make sure the plants are growing upwards and not sideways.
She takes her watering can out in the evenings and (ahem, drowns) waters her plants with loving care.

Of course, all her negative traits are all from her father's side.
Like her short fuse and her makagaga-ness when she doesn't get her way.
(Shuddup girls -that's not from me).
That's all the marseille temper flaring through

And that's this quarter's report about MM, enjoy the little snippets of intrique below compliments of MM:
I went to the campus technician to fix my laptop, it wasn't working properly.
He fumbled about and offhanded said I shouldn't share my gadgets with little people,
(This puzzled me, because I never mentioned the little people). "Why?"
Because there's a barbie doll high heel lodged tightly inside the CD hatchy part.
Thanks MM, first the PS2, now the laptop.
Have been sleeping late lately (2am) after labs, and MM tends to break my slumber every hour by kicking wildly and screaming 'Move, move!", even though she is in "MY" bed.
The result being that I wake up grumpily at 7am and first thing she cheerily asks is
"Did you have a good sleep maamie?"

She insists on wearing panties now, like the older girls in her Day care centre.
There is a minor problem though, she hasn't figured out that she has to remove her panties BEFORE she does her business.
Right now, its bomb the panties and then dutifully undresses and asks to go to the toilet.
Frenchy takes MM to rugby training when I am in the labs or at work(x 3 a week).
She thinks rugby is the cooler than kinder eggs and Barbar the elephant.
She stops whatever she's doing to watch the 'Sports Tonight' recap of the rugby.
Every team is rugby. Every player on tv is 'daddy's rugby and uncle filo!'.
She is in her realm in the sheds picking mud off rugby boots.
I would have liked a little princess playing with dresses but this the order of the day...we are raising a scruffy Kiwi kid who eats too much tomato sauce and ends every word with 'ies'...chippies, fishie, woolies(warm ofus), gummies(gumboots), breakie(breakfast), bickie (biscuit), sammies(sandwich)..oka!
Of course, this is okay until she turns 12 and then no more boys! *****

Monday, October 26, 2009

OMFG! There were Nazis in Samoa)-:

Would you farken believe it!$%&*(%!!!
I never expected to stumble across this, in our own leafy and brown corner of the world, which is quite naive of me.
After all, we were under German administration before the war, but I was sooooo not prepared to see that we have had a Nazi Party in Samoa as late as 1937!!!
If its any consolation (and its not), the author noted that one member was married to a Jewish and two to Samoans.
Tim Worst wrote about this disturbing and toxic history in 'Colaboration and Far Right Parties'.
What I found most interesting was this excerpt,
In the spring of 1937 the German consul in Wellington visited the Concordia Gruppe in Apia.
He reported to Berlin that the club on Beach Road "now bears a definitely National-Socialist imprint.
There are pictures of our F├╝hrer in every room and in front of the ministry flies our national flag" (report to ministry of foreign affairs, dated 30.5.1937).
He also wrote that New Zealand had become indifferent over Samoa and Berlin could be expected to get their former colonial place in the sun back without "over much persuasion".

It leads me to think, are there still remnants of Nazism left in our Samoa?
I know for a fact that there are remnants of colonialism and colonial masters, I can name a grumpy few in their white pick up trucks, but oi! not gonna piss off Colonel Wilhelm's crowd.
I also found some more info about the prisoners of war, presented by Vic Uni in Wellington, and ov course, the wikipedia overview is worth a peek.
I can (shallowly) conclude that the Nazi movement in Samoa was short lived and poorly supported.
It was the brainchain of Alfred Matthes, who was committed to the cause and even published a circular called 'Samoan Nazi'
but it was not widely (or at least it was not overtly) supported and when Matthes ran out of $$$$ so did this chapter of the Party in Samoa.
Conveniently though, he started at an inoptune time when relations were strained between Berlin and the rest of the Allies.
But then again, how was Nazism going to gain momentum in a place dominated by Samoans and with most Germans at peace with the place and even benefitting because of these good relations.

Eh, kailo se.
I do sometimes wonder what our country would have been like under the German administration...definitely would have prevented the spanish influenza epidemic with their strict rules.
And we'd have maintained the gorgeous achitechture. Maybe prevented the murderof Tupua Tamasese?
Or would it have been worse?
Whatever it it would have been, I am fascinated with the Samoa-German era.
Even my granma used to sing songs in German!
Just imagine the history that is kept among those families of German descent....if they are keeping it.
I know the German's definitely kept better records of their time in Samoa.
Heck, they even had a considerable influence on the faalupega we use today.
Think of the options - we would have had German passports, Euro even!
We'd be proficient in speaking a third language.
Ultimately, I have utmost respect for the Germans for the most important contribution to our country, and this legacy continues to cajole our people forward, and sideways,...
VAILIMA: once brewed under German management ....choooohooooo! sehr gut!!!

What's left of these colonial remnants
The only organisation still left that resembled this colonial past is the Freemasons, who once controlled a fair amount of business (through copra and subsequently land, think Westec Land Corporation).
They have somewhat reinvented themselves as a reputable organisation by contributing postively to the community through scholarship rarara...which is great, if you are a child of a freemason that is.
I do know this because I was faikakalaring through my mother and father's pusa ku and came across a letter written for my grandfather (who was in India at the toime).
"This is to acknowledge that Mr ...... ....... is of good masonic standing" or something along those lines.
I was so ke'i, I was like
"Oh my God, my grandfather was in a.... secret sect, he worships skulls and freaky stuff like that! He's gotta magic handshake, he talks to the dead... ohhhh noooo!"
And I blame Ronald (N) for those misconceptions. Polo. But umm, nah, nothing amazing like that, and frankly, bugger those Freemasons too because when I applied for one of their funds they told me my father wasn't a members....Polos x 2
So FreeMasons suck! (But i won't name my grandfather coz it might jeapardise any potential scholarships (-:
Go to Jane Resture's page for pics of German Samoa

Litea Ah Hoi, what a stinker

We've been organising all kinds of fundraisers and directed people to reputable organisations (Red Cross, Westpac for eg and the NZ Samoa Tsunami appeal 2009) to donate and help Samoa rebuild and recover.
This morning, I get 6 emails asking why we bother when there is stories out that the aid is being mismanaged.
The main story everyone is referng to is claims by a self-obsessed media loving councillor named Litea Ah Hoi from the bottom of North Island.
She flew to Samoa in her prissy suit and tip toed past Saleapaga and Poutasi, thus making her the 'voice of the oppessed and savior of humanity'
Oka, this never ending colonial attitude of 'I know best, I'll fly to the third world, save the savages and leave my nofo vaevaeloloa for a few days"
For someone who knows what's best and what's transparent about aid,
remember the case of the beautiful 'Cherish' child who died in WLG this year?
Well, the family spokesperson was none other than Litea herself...and she outrightly blamed St JOhns AMbulance for the death, EVEN though, the child was beaten senseless by a family member. But oi! thats not the issue, accordingly to Litea, blame the ambulance instead!

Interestingly enough, I noticed that this character LOVES the media, LOVES publicity, LOVES herself.
Which is fine, she's in the right career.
BUT what disturbs me is her arrogance and acute failure to back her statements.
I can sooo imagine her going to Poutasi in her shiny charade snooping around for drama, ...because its a front pager.
And thanks to her shortsightedness, many people are now refusing to help.
YET, there is still a desperate need for help, and it took a few grumpy putridos to muck it all up.
People can still choose how the $$$ can be managed, if they don't trust distribution,
donate to Habitat for Humanity - who have a team of builders sent from here,
or use any trusts now set up for families and resorts and villages,
there are so many ways to help - and there is so much more we can do, without having wannabe politicians stinking up everyone's efforts.
Here's only a few of the ways your tupe can still go:
Red Cross
Samoa Tsunami Appeal 2009: goes to Government
For the Taufua Beach Fales Family
OR, if you want to help the beach fale families, you can Western Union them money ov course (-:
Litia Sini Beach Fales
Faofao Beach Fales
Sunset Views Beach Fales, Manono
Namua Island Beach Fales
Lupesina Resort
Sin PJ Beach Fales
Coconuts Beach Fales
Iliili Resort
Vaotuua Beach Fales in Manono
Or email CJ at, tell her what you want to buy for a particular family or business, she buys it from the Hardware store in town and you get the bill.
She has so far bought stuff like chainsaws, toilet bowls, timber, nails, sapelu/machetes and heaps more man stuff thats helping the peoples help themselves.

16 Nov 2010:
whoa - Litea Ah Hoi seems to be a real fan of controversy, check this out, she just called a fellow Pac Islander "a dumbass coconut", gosh, where does this woman get off? she may have just costed poor J. Faafoi his win...lets hope NOT!

Saturday, October 24, 2009

What's been memorable this week?

What's happened this week that makes it worth remembering?
- I turned 25. pugi
- The 9 pallets FINALLY went to Samoa via the EFKS, cheers mate!
- 3 pallets going to POutasi -still sitting in Leota's garage
- Study Week ends
- Maeva Moelagi can sing "Becerra, cerra, whatever will be...the futures not ours to see, Becerra, cerra
- Black Russian tastes lighter with coke zero. nice
- I love the Islands concert highlight of the year.
- Got updated by CJ about the Aute Recovery Project
- Going to Wellington for Pathways conf
- I removed myself from Facebook and it felt great!(not a permanent move)
- Left MM with Neta for the first time, she loved it
- MM thinks getting a punnet of cherry tomatoes is cooler than Kinder eggs.
- I was sick most of the week with a sore throat, runny nose, ear infection. - The Rugby season is FINALLY over, for a few weeks)-:
- MM knows when she needs to go toilet but still pees her pants and then removes it and asks to go the toilet and all she does is to pronounce piiisssssss on the toilet but shes already done the damage on the ofus" - Frenchy was a write off yesterday, today and probably tomorrow
- I washed my hair with v05 shine for the first time in aeons and my hair is..."shining" just like the biatch in the ad, umm, with a bit of afro-rations - I need to tell the story about the 9 pallets and the fork lift later.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

The Ideal building solution for the Aleipata region

I spent a week (with Matile) with the amazing Niggemann Family in Bochum Germany a few years back.
Herwig and Christiane, whose grandfather's brother set up the Mulinuu Observatory and documented much of marine species/shells at the time, took unique images, became friend with Mataafa Iosefa and much more,
I've mentioned this before in this entry ... and you can view samples of the images and or purchase the book authored by Christiane. They also have valuable images of traditional samoan fales in the village and the original Fale Fono in Muliguu.
The point I'm making is,
The rebuilding of homes in the affected areas are now happening inland, and MOST people want to have fale palagis: which the government can pay for.
But just imagine if the homes by the coast can be made in the traditional design, each family building a afolau or similar fale tele in samoan material?
This is especially appealing to the tourists (which is the livelihood of the the region) and cultually appropriate for the village?

Of course, each family can build their palagi toilet and shops can remain in the palagi format.
But just imagine how beautiful it would be to have traditional well-spaced out and STURDY samoan built homes along the beach.
I know its only a far fetched concept, but it doesn't hurt to just imagine the government putting the money into both useful and significantly more meaningful structures!
Just a thought on a warm Friday arvo (-:
Image from Jane Resture's Samoa Page

The end of an affair?

Somehow, posting anything other than a link is no longer possible and for this reason I am currently reassessing my relationship with Blogger to see if its worth continuing or whether a break is imminent.
As sad as that may sound, maybe a break is really what we both need, Blogger and I.
We've been through so much together and Blogger has been there for me on my moments of boredom, excitement, anger, happiness, contentment and laziness.
Through all that, I have poured my life stories and fagogos out, until very little is personal anymore.
We started with lots of 'live' friends, all weaving our blogmats together, all commenting and critiquing and faikakaring together, but like many gadgets - their relationships fell apart or fallowed into "this blog is no longer active"
Such fleeting affairs, some even openly commiting cyber adultery by switching to wordpress, and there I was, staying true, loyal even, to Blogger.
But, we'll see if relations improve, if not then Tofa soifu Blogger

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Rest in Peace Aunty Palolo

After much searching, I've finally found something regarding our Palolo's funeral, very sad. This is Aunty Paka's daughter from Pago. Rest in Love and peace Vaasiliifiti. VA’ASILIIFITI VAIPALOLO L. VIENA Government workers clearing debris in the Evalani’s area stopped and took their seats at a bus stop as a motorcade escorting the body of Department of Human and Social Services employee Va’asiliifiti Vaipalolo L. Viena, 49, was led to its final resting place in Papa’atai, Happy Valley yesterday. She was known to many as just “Palolo.” Family members cried as her casket was lowered into the ground while members of the Pago Congregational Church of Jesus in Samoa (CCJS) sang, heralding the mother of three’s journey to meet the Lord. “Palolo, she was all of the above...that pretty much describes her,” said her older brother Duke Viena, who traveled from Washington state with several siblings for the funeral. “It’s such a tragedy.” His sister was in her two-story home, facing Tool Shop Bay Hardware (the old Soli’s restaurant) when the waves came in, said Duke. The account was relayed to him by a seamstress who worked in the sewing shop on the first floor of Palolo’s home. Neighbor Lucky Yandall was calling out to his neighbors to move to high ground as the wave was coming. “She (Palolo) didn’t see it because there was a building in front,” Duke said. “And she went in to get her son because he was in the shower. He made it out.” The funeral motorcade passed her yellow and pink home, sitting atop a heap of sodden lumber, the first floor of the house gone. Duke said they believe the Tool Shop blocked the remainder of her house from being washed into the Harbor. “My little sister, I miss her very much and I love her very much...we looked after her,” said Duke. “She was my favorite.” Palolo was interred beside a sister’s home high up on a hill in Happy Valley, overlooking the Pago Harbor.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Fagogos VS Warren Jopling's fagogos

I guess growing up with a resident geologist has killed any ideals I have about 'faith' and 'pure luck' and 'legends'.

We used to go on Warren's tours to the lava field, to see the sacred Virgin's grave.
We were intriqued about the mystery about how this virgin's grave was surrounded and protected by the lava, while the rest of the village is gone..
Warren quashed my childhood fascination with a simple geographic explantion about a bubble and air pockets and how this is perfectly normal,.
Then there was Falealupo and the bloodied pool "Vai Sua Toto"
but oi! it's discoloured brackist water in lava rock....pure coincidence, not legend)-:
How about the turtle and the shark love story at Foailuga?
"aww, that's just bullshit"

He's influenced a lot of our perception about how we lovely islanders tend to 'mystify' and turn unexplained or unproven happenings into intriquing stories and fagogo.

But oi!
I wouldn't have it any other way, I still love my fagogos and I am still telling my midget that the sun sets because a warrior pulled it down with pandanus rope. choooohooooo!!!!

Aside from these random points,
I was always in awe by Warren's casual reference to how our islands will eventually drop into the Tongan Trench - a million andgradual years away
- but with the more frequent occurences of earthquakes and plate movements in the Pacific Rim-
is it still that far away?

Monday, October 19, 2009

I've found my 'omf' in life again....i trust!

So, after a very very depressing few weeks where I have simply, "LOST the plot", I sought help (brofessional ov course) and shared my dramas with the others who are in the same boat.
I have to make a move on,
For my sake and for those who are most devastated and at a loss.
I can definitely be more helpful by moving on, and making the most of
opportunities that they have been deprived of.
I needed to accept that I have to delve on what I have control over, not the impossible.
So help me God, Allah, Mohammed and Bona Mere and all mighty deities.
I found talking with other Samoans very healing.
I kept my sadness to myself thinking I was just not hacking it,
I thought I was just being weak and alone in my woes.
But I have learnt that most of the people I have discussed this with are going through the same challenges....deeply affected by the events of late.
But, like I said, I am learning to take things one step at a time,
(Thanks to my online shrinks Mega, Utu, Fotu, and the last person who left a comment).
I also did something else.

I took a break and made a deal that I will NOT think, read or discuss the tsunami in the weekend, (well, apart from the fundraiser and loading the goodies pallets on the truck and calling home).

But last night was EXCEPTIONAL and humbling:
Last night, we went to the I love the Islands concert in Auckland and for the first time and probably the only time ever in New Zealand history,
the BEST of New Zealand music and the All Blacks! performed,
one after another for a glorious 4 hours.
It was like listening to my favourite playlist on ipod, except...they were LIVE and brilliant!
The TV3 Presenters Mihirangi Forbes and John Campbell were bigger celebrities than they ever anticipated.

They were in Samoa the day after the tsunami hit telling Samoa's story to the world and she told of the kindness of the Samoan people, when those who have lost everything were more concerned about given them
something, ...the boys climbed the coconut tree and offered them a drink.
I loved the caliber of performers, old legends like Dave Dobbyn, Neil and Tim Finn, Bic Bunga was gggoorrrgeous!, LMNOP, CheFu, Overstayers,....

Towards the end of the night, Savage and Scribe did battle and the 10,000 crowd went WILD!!!
I realised I had paid a $1.00 to see each of these performers...what a bargain!
...the best $25.00 I've sent in my life! This is the actual list of performers:
Neil Finn & Tim Finn: good ol' Kiwiana icons
Dave Dobbyn: I'd loyally pay hundreds to see him perform, AMAZING
Bic Runga: schexy, smooth, stunning, ...gifted.
Savage: Highligh of the night 10,000 people going "Chooohooo!!!!"
Scribe: did battle with above, seki a
Hollie Smith: sang acapela with her group 'Let it me', MEMORABLE.
Elemeno P: Most hyped, crazed, exicited performer of the night.
Nesian Mystik: Funkeey, but aside from one, they kinda beefed up
Jordan Luck Band: I'm sure they were awesome, I forgot with one
J.Williams: all the teenie poppers went nuts for him
Che-Fu & Kratez: Che Fu was a bit of an anti climax
Open Souls
Kirsten Morrell:Redhead wtd guitar, I HEART HER! better than Nora Jones
Sweet & Irie
DJ Sirvere
Aaradhna gorgeous voice, TRAGIC hairdo...WTF!
Mareko: gansta big pants, big belly, big voice, big performance
King Kapisi: loved the remix of Faifaipea which all the palagis sang to
Adeaze: Tokoroa represent, seki a kama gei
Lapi Mariner: Ave lo'u ola background music, heavenly!
If there's one thing they should change, it would be to remove Teuila Blakely as the MC,
she seems like she was on tooo much coke, hyper, unfunny, kaea voice and she spoke so fast that we didn't even know what she was saying or who she was introducing.
Hope Oscar picks someone else to emcee with him, maybe someone who is more articulate and not as bouncy like Teuila.
SOmeone like Petra Bagust, or Mihirangi Forbes or Jackie Brown or Beatrice Faumuina or anyone who can actually present properly.
Other higlights:
Len Brown - Manukau Major, he's the token 'brown' palagi who started with 'wasup Sooouth side! Weeest siiiide"....oka, he just needed some loose pants and a cap and whollah, Len Brown-gansta from the souf syde in da house.
All Black showed up - Tia Lata said to drop him a message on facebook and he'll sell you a shirt he designed for the tsunami relief.
Pity my honey Richard Kahui wasn't there. But Liam Meesam, Maa Nonu, and others came.
Liam Meesam (and Callum Bruce)actually gave lots of their rugby gear to our collection point, so he's AWESOME!
All in all, I am so so so intrigued with the love and concern and action by New Zealanders to this tragic event. Everyone I have met is doing something.
SO many people are making things happen, by donating clothes, given money, performing for free, organising findraisers, offering services from free
Like i mentioned before,
I have utmost faith it the true kindness of humanity from this disaster.
Many will never be acknowledged for their efforts but here are those people and companies who helped in our own small events and collection in our humble corner of Aotearoa:
Storage King
Fulton Hogan
University of Waikato staff
Hamilton City Council staff
Air New Zealand
Habitat for Humanity, Te Rapa
Red Bins Te Awamutu
Snell Packaging on Sunshine Ave
Church College in Htown
Coast to Coast Transport, Hamilton
Coupland Transport, Te Awamutu
Waikato Kindergarten Association
Fonterra staff at the Canpac site
Vaka, Sharon, Dolores, Tj, Shobna, Scottie Walker.
And every man, woman and child who have given something for the cause.
Viia lea Alii!

Thursday, October 15, 2009

I need to regain my focus

Dear Diary, I need to regain some focus in my life right now. I have not touched my academic work since Samoa and I know that this is bad. I will fail my last few assignments I will lose my scholarship. I will be miserable. It will be a semster wasted, lots of money wasted. Bad bad outcomes. So, those are the consequences. What would inspire me to regain control over myself and my actions? I am seeing a student advisor today. I am not having a party but will spend my weekend in the management labs - maybe that change of atmosphere will do me some good. I will leave Maeva with Teu tomorrow and do some work. I need to focus - I only have a few weeks left and my hard work the whole year will go down the shithole if i don't do something now. So Help my God. Please let me know how else I can regain my focus or be inspired again.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

I hate White Sunday now

White Sunday this morning was celebrated with the usual skits of the old testament, along with the obligatory robes, action songs in a four hour service.
So nothing new,
Aside from the gorgeous clothes, hair bands, tuxedos and the Michael
Jackson 'Heal the World' finale.
I can't help but realise the huge difference between the child born in
Samoa and the child born in Middlemore. The home grown coconut
bounces to the front and yells out his tauloto, when they stutter, they were threatened by their parents on the front row...'Fai lau kaoloto e!' with the left arm gesturing towards the jandal.
The Kiwi child stands shy, turns from side to side, his loving mother supporting him by his side, saying his words with him.
The skits were fun, some sunday school teachers have bounced into this century and were using current affairs within their performances, which were entertaining.
But the rest was the usual Naamanu, Mesako, Apeteniko and the crew zz zzz..."Ona fai ai ai lea o Naamanu, ia ua lelei, o le'a faapena lava" and the "Ia ua lelei lau afioga i le tupu" in unison.

I did enjoy seeing the excitement in the children, busying themselves among the frills of their little dresses and matching shoes.
I loved seeing the joy in the grandparents faces watching their child say their tauloto.
I loved seeing that children were happy and showing it too.

What I didn't like, were the relatives who flew in from Sydney Australia ($155 return to Htown, f*(k you very much) to celebrate with their families here, bringing with them an arrogance that disturbed the peace among the humble congregation. Isa! Two months in Oz and already "peeking up the feesh and cheeps myte" fefe ia mulipu.

anyhow, today was a day for the children, and towards the end of the ceremony, a song was dedicated to the children who have perished in the tsunami, the song was "Moomooga"
Those who know me well know that if there was one thing that would reduce me to tears, it would be this song.
I started weeping for those parents in Lalomanu and elsewhere especially the mothers who have no more children to fuss over and dress and feed and sasa and love and care for.
Gosh, this life is so fucken unfair!
It felt so wrong sitting in that smug and beautifully decorated church while not far away so many are suffering.
We are so bloody selfish):
With this in mind, I just sat there sobbing among others, talk about a way to end white sunday.
To hell with White Sunday, this stupid day should have been cancelled this year, no one deserves to be happy!
I left before toonai, having lost any interest in any celebrations. It just feels wrong.
And then to add to my woes, I started watching Tagata pasifika and its coverage of the tsunami....and once again, turned on the water works because of the burial of little children in a mass grave.
This is so much for me (who is not even closely related to them) I cannot imagine what they are going through. It is a mother's worst nightmare.
So sad, so sad. So draining, so hard-to-move-on, so so painful.

I might see a counsellor this week, I think I'm falling apart):