Sunday, October 28, 2007

Why some people should not write

Some people should never ever be allowed to write, for any sort of media.

Alan Ah Mu comes to mind.

As to why Sano Malifa allows this dude to write Editorials is baffling.

I'd happily get my 13 year old cousin to write an editorial, or better yet, correct Ah Mu's articles.

Today I browsed through Samoa Observer (as is my religious routine on a nightly basis) in the hope of reading some good ol' Sano bashing of some 'somebody-high-n-mighty' but was sadly dissapointed because he must be at the golf course, leaving the workers to write chaos.

Let me dissect Ah Mu's article today:

"Fly the Apia-Auckland route often enough, like once a year, and the realisation might dawn that the two places are just five hours apart by air." No shet, Sherlock

The distancing aspect these days is no longer geography it is perspective. In particular the wrong perspective".

Why doesn't he put commas where they are meant to be?

He goes on to state:

"Meaning their impression of what life in Samoa was like going on what their parents had told them was more than a little off target."
...I feel like a Mrs Barlow right now and okegia you for not formulating your sentences correctly!

"It is what we should be watching ourselves on our television here rather than a programme about an American man riding around fighting bad guys with his motor vehicle which he talks to - and, God Almighty, Dallas."

Oi sole, where do I start?

Grammatical dramas aside, the context of his story is a rather poorly researched, a shallow viewpoint about NZ Samoans impressions of Samoa and the impacts on Samoans in Samoa. hehe...(thats a whole lotta Samoans in one sentence!)

I understand where he is coming from, but he got lost along the way.

Firstly, he makes such degrading and bitter generalisations about people. Without getting his facts right. Without acknowledging the harsh realities that Samoans abroad endure in order to get that church in your village rebuilt and retiled.

My point is, Ah Mu, Samoans of the 60-70s left for a 'supposed' better life, for their families, their children. Not necessarily by choice. That, my horrible editor, is a fact.
They left their homelands with the intents of building a future, making money, educating their children, remitting their meagre wages for their families in Samoa.
How did they do this?

Working long hours in factories, meatworks, construction while the average New Zealander basked in the sunshine, giddy with choices.

Clearly, their Samoa became a "laid back" dream, of warmth, freedom and sadly,..the past.

We humans do that, we reminisce about the past, until it becomes rose-tinted and candy flossed.

They tell their children of this "paradise", their children's Samoa becomes their parent's Samoa. That, my friend, is why Samoans abroad speak of Samoa in a nostalgic, romanticed way.
I will do the same for my 7 imaginary children in the future. I will lie on a mat in our floral living room and sing "Tuli mai tuli mai" and tell stories about "MY" Samoa. I will tell them of the beauties of my homeland. As for the realities, let them find out for themselves. That is for them to choose.

Not for an editor to point out.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Oceania Politickling

Matches the term " muli kaea"(For fear of using a degrading palagi term).

He is the current self-proclaimed Prime Minister of Fiji, a.k.a the "coup paradise of the Pacific". He has shafted democracy, abused the majority of Fijian people's human rights and freedom and used force to assume leadership.


Matches the term 'Lose'

Because nobody wins in the end, (except Bainimarama of course...for now).

Worse yet, the other Pacific leaders sit back on their heavy backsides and let it all happen, even inviting Baniamarama to the recent Forum.

What is this suggesting? That dictatorship is okay? That it's Fiji's problem not ours, so we'll let them be?

Whatever the case, the reality is becoming apparent that the Forum is becoming obsolete and ineffective, not so different from the League of Nations before it flopped, not unlike the UN before we found out Kofi's son was getting cash for being Kofi's son.

I'm dissapointed with my uncle Tui, (nah, he's not actually my uncle, i'm just name dropping).

For a man who speaks his moind and stabs his listeners before massaging their egos, its sad to realise he's taking the back bench and not gettin' involved.

If the Pacific leaders actually spoke their minds at the Forum, it would have been something like this:

Helen Clark: "I don't wanna talk to you Bainimarama, youre a d1ck"

Bainimarama: "Dude, leave me alone, if you don't like me, butt out and get a wife"

Prince of Tonga "Bainimarama, you can hang out at my pad, I like big boys, hmmmm"

Tuilaepa: "hmmmm, I love coups, it brings everyone to my crib, more coups more coups and more kava plizzz!!!!

Cook Islands: Guys, I'd love to say something but my hands are tied, don't wanna get detentions from Headmaster Helen.

Niue PM: "Hello, anyone hear me????? I'm here??

Tuvalu: "Niue, I'm also here but you can't see me, i'm submerged"

Tokelau: Guys, just take a chill pill and relax...oh, and yeah, Helen's my man!!

Solomons: I hate you John Howard, I'm not coming to the party coz of you, youre a d1ck.

John Howard: "Wow, there's islands in that ocean hmmm? (should have a chat to Internal Affairs about relocating the Aboriginals there after elections"