Saturday, August 12, 2006

What comes first? The cocoa or the rice?

This week, I mumbled a silent prayer at work because I almost punched a work colleague in the face during a meeting.


And (bless me Father) I didn’t.


Instead, I just imagined her eyes getting poked in by a huge Alaskan bear.
The kind that Salty saw outside his window, or maybe I’m imagining that too.
My disappointment was so intense that I actually got up, calmly excused myself, walked to the coffee corner and downed two shots without sugar or milk.
I was angry.


Furry Logic is the one thing that calmed my anger.


“Be Yourself, No one is better qualified”


“Life is full of challenges, eventually you’ll find a hairstyle you like”


At the week’s end, I had recovered my ‘cool’ and reminded myself that I get more wrinkles from being pissed off.


Plus, after all, its just work and frankly, I won’t let that mortgage-paying aspect of my life ruin my mascara.


I drove home to our new happy house in the quiet St Andrew suburb to find the Maori neighbours drunk for the fifth night in a row, singing “No Woman No Cry”.
Sometimes, I wish Bob Marley wasn’t born at all.


So that I could sleep peacefully without “ Emancipating yourself from antislavery” ringing in my eardrums in slurred Maori vocals on a frosty winter night, in a supposedly quiet neighbourhood.


Still, I am convinced that I will not let these minor mishaps dampen my day/night, so I started painting flowers on canvas, then a little splash of black as a background, a wave breaking, no, a tsunami looks better, with some sharks and maybe a few Maoris fishing on the reef, eating pipis and mussels and puha and kumara and fish and chips.


Lovely.


Picasso would have been pleased.


Delighted even.


Tonight, I decided to make use of the samoan cocoa I got from mom when she came from Samoa two months ago.


It is wrapped in clear plastic and inserted into another white plastic foam cup.
I open these covers and feel the smooth but hard cocoa between my hands.
“How the #%& do I break this?”


I grab a bread knife and saw away, small bits fall off and land on the newly cleaned floor.


I pick up the bigger pieces from the floor and leave them on the sink (Note to self, dispose of these later”.


Frenchy walks in, sees the cocoa bits and tastes one.


“Youre making a mess, you vasti”


“None of your business kio”


“Hah, a Samoan who can’t make cocoa, vasti”


“%*^#$*&^*&(*”


Frenchy gets the message and pisses off to the garage to pretend he’s doing constructive DIY work that he really doesn’t know.


I return to my cocoa chipping, picked out a pot, filled it with water and dropped in the cocoa bits.


Halfway though, I decided to do koko alaisa, rice cocoa, cocoa rice, rice in cocoa whateva.


I pick up the phone and call Delphina.


Shane comes to the phone with instructions,


“Cut off half of the cocoa bits, microwave that in a cup, before you put it into the pot.”


I look at the already boiling pot and realize the advice came 5 minutes too late.
“What comes first Shane, the cocoa or the rice?


“The rice, the coconut cream and then the cocoa.”


“Oh, coconut cream too? Forget it, I don’t have that”


Dilmah tea it will be.

11 comments:

dasifi said...

se malo Fotu,
lol @ Gui teasing u abt not knowing how to make koko alaisa. Ia ae o fea a koe alalai ai ga koko alaisa. Neeways u should have saved the hard pieces e velo ai le ulu o lau collegue that way u don't have to touch her physically heheh!
Don't worry ur puridee head abt people like that not worth ur time which as u have mentioned can be used to further explore ur creative side.
Take care.
Alofas from this side.

Dok said...

I FEEL YOUR PAIN JODES!!
On all different levels- frustration at work that drives me nuts- makes me ask myself why i do it everday..i too have maori neihbours,prolly 10 people in a 2 bedroom house, one guys drives the rubbish truck and has to collect his own rubbish from his backyard just about everynight at 11pm...you know those trucks that go BEEP BEEP BEEP with those lifter things, then one drives a refrigerated truck which parks nicley about 2m from my bedroom window which i think they recharge overnight..so its,rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr all night...not to mention the rouwdy partys...only horis can have partys that end with brawsl, a taxi being called and "fuck off aunty, we never wanna see you again"...litte at least 50 year old lady stumbles out, drunk, witha ko'oko'o going " fug all yous too!" and then theres that, drank and ate it throughout my entire upbringing, but still dont know how to make da cocoa rice....i'll just leave that to poi!!LOL
Biggups on da house though! and dont sweat it too much with work, enjoy the therapeutic paintings!!

salty said...

this one was very entertaining. though, you probably don't want a bear down your way, too hot for him. just throw your co-worker to a tiger shark!

if you get tired of whatever work it is you do (i think travel agency?) you should consider writing, if you haven't already. if you sell a book you can pay someone to make your cocoa-

Shark Girl said...

At least I can make koko Samoa. Hoh hoh! LOL.

Love the writing luv.

Peachy.. said...

Hi,
Same sentiments here about co-workers. I'm glad the one I had problems with was fired.. Good riddance. Malie foi, I got the same foam cup of Koko from my parents and still have yet to use it.. Good tip though, I'll be making kokorice soon. I made a kopai like a month ago and surprisingly it turned out good. That's only after being on the phone with my Dad and writing everything down.. Fiu nai matua e fai mai e o mai e matamata i le faiga o mea'ai ae mismi atoa. Ia, ua a nei ha,ha,. I've wasted money calling home asking my Dad for all his recipes... Manuia...pht.

tEiNe_DoMiNgUeZ said...

Too funny cousin... Way too funny!!! LOL...

Love u...

tel said...

oh well, it was worth the try a ea suga?! At least for next time you know the drill hehe. I still haven't attempted my first kokoa alaisa unassisted but something I find handy when it comes to boiling the koko to drink is the cheese grater for a finer grain hehe.
How's work and married life????
Rarely get to read anyone's blogs these days so trying to catch up...
Take care darl and take it easy. Alofa tele ia Gui from us here
xxxooo

reesa said...

so i was um wondering...did the bits of cocoa that Gui was munching on the ones that fell on the floor? lol...at least the floor was clean a ea? e fesoasoani foi i le immune system a frenchy! hahaha

Goddess of Savaii said...

thanx ladies and one gent for commenting on my rantings...

tel, next time i attempt cocoa making (which is never) i'll use the cheese grater.

yes reesa, the cocoa bits were definitely from the floor, no worries there e le'i oki ai le pogaua, lol.

kalofa ia oe dok ma au neighbors leai gi faiai...typical!...different area code same dole arseh@les.

yeah, im sure lots of us can learn a thing or three from the ol' folks about cooking...

Thanks for visiting, sorry there's no cocoa to welcome your visit!!!

alofas,

mememe

Shark Girl said...

Well thank God there ain't no cocoa to welcome us. Kei ua pa-dead seisi i se food poison. Lol.

Mom/Of/Steel said...

isn't easier jst to buy unsweetened cocoa powder from the store?