Fagogo mai Samoa,...aue!

Warning, DO NOT USE THIS Scholarship scheme PIPEF

2012-02-17T16:44:00.000+14:00

http://www.pipef.org.nz/

I know someone who applied and waited more than 15 months to get her scholarship money and it took her countless phonecalls, emails, more emails and unreturned phone calls and it got to the point where she was so deperate for the money she ended up writing to the Minister of Education. It was long after her degree that she received her scholarship, thanks to the Minister responding and making it happen.
So I advise anyone, do not use Pacific Island Polynesian Education Foundation.
Dodgy as.

Free riding in Samoa: accessing the Salani waves

2012-02-17T13:42:00.001+14:00

I have been following the Salani surf debacle on Samoa Observer, because you know foi a, the surf falls under my jurisdicktion as the Goddess. (stop rolling your eyeballs).

In brief, surfers from somewhere else parked somewhere near Salani, paddled out and tried surfing but the Salani resort employee 'chased' them back to land (sounds like a movie aye). The disgruntled surfers write to the paper and the Resort owners write back. yada yada yah.

My first impression is: Salani Resort, stop being greedy with the waves that are God's creation. Share the love.

But then I read on and realised, I needed to cancel my first impression.

Firstly, this resort have EVERY right to influence who rides the wave.
They have invested in a business and an ongoing relationship with the village, they have spent years maintaining, getting wiped out by a tsunami and then returning to rebuild their business.
It sucks to say this but if you think about it, most places in the world that attracts tourism are dealing with the same issue of ownership and access.
Look at Fiji, same problemo.
These tourists who are freelancing need to understand that if they smash their faces on the coral, they will need help, help that naturally will need to come from Salani Resort in the first instance....sorry dude, no 911 on this side of the rock
So there you have it, pay the fee and stop being a sissy about it.
And for Salani Resort, they need to be upfront about their policy and be upfront about their authority over the wave. Stop pissing about with sustainable access and cultural bs and respect, say it as it is: We paid to be here, we made this our home and our business, we have established a relationship with Salani Village Council and therefore, we will kick your surfie butt off our wave". Amen.

And last but not least, Samoa Tourism Authority and Govt need to make this clear in their "obsolete and never followed' strategies, spell out to the tourism stakeholders what constitutes 'ownership' in the jungle".

If you aren't aware of the Falealupo rainforest story, a matai Samoa (may he rest in peace) took the law into his own hands and chased out the loggers with a machete.
Lets not see a repeat people,....cheers
Goddess of the Surf.
*Disclaimer: I am saying this as an individual Goddess, so don't get your surfie panties in a twist over it. tai lava, faafetai faatau

Extreme Measures

2012-02-15T15:30:00.000+14:00

The last few weeks, I have spend much of in High schools, mostly in ze deep south.
Where a considerable number of students are Pacific, everything seemed as they were 5 years ago when I was in High School (add a digit to the 5 and get the real number).
...Stiffling school uniforms, detention, school fees, screaming squealing teens, teachers - driven teachers, 'over it' teachers, passionate teachers, happy students, sad parents, .etc etc.
But this is not what I was prepared for:
Security at the gate doing bag checks, guard dogs after drugs, violence (among students) and students who simply, don't give a damn. Even when the Principal is yelling at them to stop yelling back.
When I was in High school in Samoa, you got your fingertips whacked with a ruler for simply turning your head away from the board,...so my initial thoughts were, eh, ka fia alaku e e lave le po i foliga.
Amidst all this, sat Pacific parents, many in their work clothes, queuing up to see the Principal because they want their son/daughter back into the school.
I felt so sad for them - taking time out of work, to beg and grovel for a forth chance, for their son who just doesn't give a shet.
One of these parents knew me, or rather, my mother, so we had a bit of suega kala (aka talanoa session) about key matters like ahem, the Manu Samoa, the ugly China buildings and the Pasifika festival.
I realised here that this parent and their child, are worlds apart.
So far apart that they don't speak the same language. Or hear each other.

Romantic phone conversation with Frenchy on Valentines Day

2012-02-14T15:22:00.000+14:00

Me: How were the kids this morning? (he dropped them off).
Frenchy: Good, they were okay, but La Tuif bombed his pants on arrival.
Can you pick up the kids?
Me: If I finish early.
By the way, Do you know its Valentines day today?
Frenchy: So, I don't believe in that commercial shit.
Me: Oh okay, fa. (abruptly hangs up and curses the day she met the fecking heartless bastard).

And on that light note, Happy Valentines and all that commercial shit,
Eh, Kao i se umu sole

Packed and ready to roll..over

2012-02-11T03:01:00.002+14:00

We are sleeping in our bedroom, all three of us on this second to last night in our first ever home ): I know....bring out the violin!The first truck load left this arvo, taking the big stuff, except our bed.

As a result, MMoelagi naturally takes it as hers with her old man, and Cindefela sleeps on the floor.”
thankfully, Lgi is here to help me out and The WPtrsn family arrive in the morning to help out.We are still gonna celebrate STuifitis birthday as well, just for our close friends...Ie close enough to know that the will sit on the floor at some point and fetch milk from the Chiller.
Eh so much work but I'm excited.Today was my division planning day as well and last here in the Tron before moving to the new office. chaotic day trying to organise the move and sit in and focus on presentations....I was there physically but my mind was at home, and at daycare where my babies were having their last day ...Maeva was thankfully excited,STuifiti was clueless but he was spoilt even more as it is his birthday today.Other than that, all is good. My friend Mg gave me a huge bag of goodies for MM as well...I love these amazing people around me,....I'm so lucky! Faafetai, Merci, THank You, Meitaki maata.

Is it just me or anyone else getting spammed with

2012-02-08T17:01:00.001+14:00

Samoa accommodation bs? (and I won't name it here in case they get attention, freakos)

It's irritating to say the least!

As far as I am concerned, (ie as a Goddess of Spam and all, pugi), the ONLY legitimate Samoa accommodation site that exist in Samoa is run by Samoa Hotels Asociation ~~and Samoa Tourism~~, where all their members are included.
Individual accommodation providers run their own websites too, (by the way, Amanaki is goooorgeous).

There are now lots of holiday homes mainly in Apia you can rent, many come with vehicles if you book long term. Try holidayhomes for these ones,...there's a lovely home in Vaiala I'd love to wake up in and watch the waves (pe'a leai se galu lolo).
Then there is the straight-forward booking with the provider directly and if you are a local there is a local rate.

So, if anyone else gets that accommodation crap through their comments - its bs.
In other news, ...the Manu are in Vegas, lets hope for a better result...c'mon boys!
Those are your lungs! Follow their journey on the Go the Manu FB page.

(PD, ska commission please, haha)

Tuapou Talalelei Lefua Sene

2012-02-07T13:05:00.000+14:00

My Uncle Lefua passed away in the weekend, in Tuasivi, Savaii.
He has been sick for a while, having lived a life filled with laughter, the clinking of Vailima greens and plenty of fasi povi masima.
As a court registrar, he was well known in court case circles.
And in Savaii, the sun, moon and the entire galaxies revolve around the court house in Tuasivi.
It is where matai titles are contested, fought over, appealed, re-appealed and thrown out.
Talalelei was at the heart of the action.
If you knew him, you were in a better place in the galaxies, because you knew whose titles have been apili'ed, soloia'd and which family is a itu kagi and which matai presented and made a fool of himself in explaining their gafa.
We will miss him for these insights into the intricate world of court cases.
But more than that, we will miss a happy cheerful man who loved life,
Who did not care for the talkers and the recylers and creator of malicious talk (a.k.a. faikakala ma le au su'e kala). HIs response was always a laugh.
I will miss him.
But even more frightening, is that reminder that he is a younger generation, gone too soon.
I foolishly presumed he was going to grow old in our family.
And we, the younger (!) generation could live freely knowing our family is being protected by him, my mother, my uncles and other matais from Tautala and Futu's descendants.
But no, it is not to be,
I look at his sons and daughters and I feel sad and a little shocked, they were suppose to have their protector around for longer. Now they are forced to step up and be the elders for their family.
This is sad, but this is also a reminder that time is of essence, we have much to learn about our family.
We have much to understand and fight for.
Our generation need to be prepared to fight for what is right, and stand tall for our land, titles and faasinomaga.
Talalelei Lefua was part of our family who went to court and suceeded in returning the pule of these matai titles to our Tuisafua Family:
Tupaimatuna, Tuapou, Vaasiliifiti and Lealali.
He was there to ensure that our future generations will grow up to know that these are our heritage and claim to our land, our tuaa have worked hard to ensure we are in a better place.

Manuia lau malaga i le lagi.

Manu Samoa

2012-02-07T12:11:00.000+14:00

Wellington Sevens in the weekend and it didn't go to us ): but its okay, ...we'll do better in Vegas (:

If you haven't already, join the Go the Manu FB page and get to-the-second live updates of the Manu team, their next move, the size of their thighs, their scrummage positioning and every key stats that you needed.

The reports are provided by a very committed and passionate team lead by a committed and passionate ~~stalker~~Stella.

Wouldn't it be nice if she was at all the legs of the tourny?

Just a thought, because when it goes further away from our Hemisphere it goes a little bit quiet):

Back breaking stuff

2012-02-03T12:27:00.000+14:00

For some reason, despite going to bed at 1am and getting up at 6am, I am sprightly and 'awake'.
Then I realised I have not had to get up 4 times to do Tuifiti's milk, or put cream on MM's eczema, or get water, or change a nappy.
Wow! I have had perfect, uninterrupted sleep!
Thank you children.
(Thank you warm lavender bath before bedtime....such is my advise to any new parent,...after work, keep kids outside (rain or shine, hahah) tire them out, feed them, then nice warm bath and then, voila!
Knocked out wee ones)
Anyhow, by 9pm I was eyeing the oven, (which Frenchy used to place the bbq'ed meat in the weekend and then spilled all the crap down the bottom and then forgot to clean it).
Then I found the Mr Muscle Oven Cleaner.
And I must confess, I don't clean the oven myself.
Frenchy does this because he says it's dangerous and the gases are strong ra ra ra, and I was pregnant or lactating much of the time, so I have been relieved of this task.
But last night, I couldn't get the gunk off the bottom using Jiff.
So I pulled out the gloves and went to work...dude, oven cleaning is effing hard work!
But my God that Mr Muscle is fabulous!!!!
Once you get past the instructions and the gloves and all, you just shut the thing up and wait 30 minutes.
Let me say this again, Wow frigging Wow!!!
Mr Muscle breaks up all that hard stubborn dirt which has settled at the bottom from the weekend.
Totally!
Trouble is, I was on facebook and I lost track of time snooping on my friends' fakebook lives, so much that it was 11 when I went to clean the oven. Now, Mr Muscle kinda lost its aura there, because I still had to clean the rest of the effing thing from top to bottom.
At 11:30 I thought "What the figg where you thinking cleaning the oven for the first time at night, dumbo!"
Anyhow, after all that, I was tired, a bit soiled and totally over it but needed a shower again to clean off the crap from my arms.

Message of the day: Don't be a Mrs Muscle coz it's not worth the stiff muscles in the morning, Amen

wohhooooo, Samoan population has tripled overnight

2012-02-03T11:06:00.000+14:00

...and in triple I mean, 4 more Samoans are on campus straight from Faleolo.
This is rather exciting for dinasaurs like us (W-ia, Lgi ...).
One of the newbies was a year ahead of me in Samco, so I sort of know her from then.
Other one is my mother's uncle's son's grandson something or other. To be exact, our greatgrandmothers were cousins from Avao Preffecture (:
The other two I don't know yet, but I remain hopeful that they will have taro and banana chips in their luggage.

Teenagers today

2012-02-02T13:05:00.001+14:00

Wow - I spent a whole day (ending at 10pm last night) with a bunch of teenagers. 97 of them.
And I was pleasantly suprised at their level of majurity (and no, this is not a Tui ad).
As a group, they were so well mannered, listened and stayed focus for hours of talks and lectures and zzzzzzzz, even I was struggling to focus,.
As individuals, these 15-17 year olds were hungry for information and we asking questions about their study paths 3 years down the line. Wow - I was Impressed indeed.

It did make me wonder about my own experience at that age (at which my thoughts were occupied by anything but school. True story ask Mrs Barlow).
I wish we had this set up at Samoa college where career advisors could talk to us about what's out there. Also having industry leaders to talk about their own journey, knowing that not everyone is gonna be a rocket scientist. In fact, wouldn't it be usefuly to have a real kaulealea from the village talk about their role and experience? All those would have informed me of what I could be, of what marks I needed to achieve, or WHY I needed to achieve those marks. Like getting a job for starters, but also, getting scholarships, getting considered ahead of other applicants because I was diligent (i wasn't, i'm just hypothesising) and so much more.

What I did receive at that age in terms of advice was rather vague: Study hard so you will pass.
Study hard or else you will end up like ^%(&^ riding the Laifoni all day with no aim in life.
Come first or else I will beat you with that hose. (Yeah, that one hanging by the Bible).

Anyhow, my message to myself is, get your budding student to find career and academic advice early on. Let them map their 'possible' futures themselves without you (me) breathing down their neck. Well, maybe breath down their neck to show up is a good start, heh.

K, manuia le aso!

Rif raf Update

2012-01-31T16:43:00.002+14:00

sometimes, blogging seems so futile, you wonder why you do it?
but you do it anyway, despite knowing it serves little purpose in life.
In any case, i am blogging because I enjoy writing and it sort of stops me in my tracks and forces me to recollect!
And...I like looking back after a few months, years and being reminded of how my crazy mind works (or doesn't work)...its like "My Lawd...I wrote that? delete" heh.

Well, this week, I have not much to blog about that is newsworthy, but for my own memoirs, this is what matters:

We are about 10% packed for the big move north. I have wanted to strangled Frenchy more times this week than every before, vice versa.
The house has new tennants and we have a new house. Yay, missfiapotspaying2mortgagessuicidalmuch.
My nieces and nephews are here for good, having being away from their mom for more than 2 years. I am over the moon knowing they will be 20 minutes drive away, Praise be for the 2 new babysitters (:
I wish to thank my sister Malelega for the stash of siapo, lau u'a, afa and best of all, our collection of tuiga hair which she has recovered among the mess in mom's room. Thank you!!!...once we settle, I will make our own family tuiga with the hair and the stuff she brought.
Found daycare for the two smalls not far from the new place, (and coincidentially 5 minutes from Aunty Ev's house :)
My boy turns 1 in Feb, and I am making every effort to celebrate his birthday except, it also falls on the day ALL our furniture is moved. So I am changing the event to "bring a blanky, we've having a picnic on the deck "...kalofa e i si au kama, magaia le neglect la lea...ah well, you're only 1, choohooo!
Majority of the Chiefs work out in our gym and with them came an influx of little blond desperado groupies who workout in really really short ~~panites~~ shorts and sports bras without the sport...its predominantly bra.
Wowser,...and you wonder why some of these girls get raped in hotel rooms....they have very little to hide, and are begging to be taken advantage of!
Talk about putting themselves out there.
...or maybe I'm just a granma who can't be arsed getting out of my nanny trackies!
Ia, e ola a le g-strangle ola fo'i le granny undie.
eh, ia, maguia le vaiaso pu panties

awkward doesn't begin to explain it.

2012-01-27T15:13:00.000+14:00

Ive been a solo mom this week again and mornings are chaotic.
I have to get the two smalls ready, dressed, undressed, diaper changed, 4 year old undressed and dresses herself twice, feed them breakfast and some end up on my work clothes.
I am NOT the mother in the television advert. I cannot organise myself in the morning.
I am always forgetting something.
I usually end up choosing a top that needs ironing, in the morning, so that it slows everything down.

anyhow, ...managed to drop off both kids at daycare, ...i only realised my poor daughter's hair was disheveled at the carpark and the boy had weetbix on the back of his ears.
I did the whole - brush her hair with my fingers and mini faapaku to hide the faamoega pi....then try scrape off the weetbix from his head. poor boy.

In all this rush, I get to work realising i am wearing my black bra with my white top.
and its sort of see through....not 'whore-version' but more that the black is visible when you really pay attention.

I dont have big bazookas, but this bra does the job nicely...thank you...but then one of the polo magumigumi pules came in to discuss an ad and the twerp is describing the ad and focussing on my superficial tits...feck, i wanted to signal him and say;
"oi! eyes up here, these puppies are superficially inflated".

Fecking men. and fecking poor planning on my part.

Message to self: Wake up earlier and plan the night before. And don't have 2 kids if you can hack it so stop whining.

O le Tulafale fia poto ma le Tulafale e lava le tofa

2012-01-27T10:41:00.001+14:00

I'm just laughing out loud at someone who owns a blog who is dissing the The Orator in terms that are so sophisticated that he goes off in a Tarzan monkey swinging tangent.
In stating that he disliked the movie, he commited more that 2306 words, 3 blog entries and whole lot of "convulsed" critique in the process.
It got me thinking, well...you must like it then...since it has pocessed and consumed your thoughts so much.
*yawn*

On the contrary, I have just read another review but this time, writing with no air of fiapotoness, it is true, genuine and relates to the story beautifully, ...*sigh* I wish more people saw it through her lens. Like her, I loved the scenes and sounds of the rain falling, the vibrant colours, the imagery....it is so surreal!

Looking at the lush greenery and scenery made me yearn for another visit to Samoa. And the sound of the rain on the tin rooftops, who can forget that? Definitely brought back memories of falling asleep to that special melody. Did I even stop to notice that when I was girl in Samoa? Probably not as it was just another beat in the harmony that makes up the rhythm of life that is uniquely Samoan.
A Samoan Woman

The message today is: Be true to yourself. ~~And stop using big words just for kicks.~~

Stowaway

2012-01-26T16:58:00.000+14:00

reading this story made me laugh - a child hoping in a trailer of a car without any adults knowing.I used to do that when i was a widdle widdle terror...this is why i remember this:My uncle Enoka used to have a bomb as pick up truck with holes and corrugated iron holding it together, he used to to transport dried copra to salelologa...and i used to hop in and hide so i would go with him to Avao where my aunty lived.I remember hiding and looking down at the floor and watching the gravel through one of the gaping holes in front of the pax seat...I stayed low until gravel turned into white concrete coz that meant we had passed the ford at sapapalii.of course, i get the salu lima on my return but the trip and being spoilt by Vaelua is well worth it.*sigh* i want to be 6 again ):

Happy Dragon Balls

2012-01-23T13:37:00.002+14:00

Just read the editorial by Savea Sano about people being lazy and not working and I couldn't agree more!
We are breeding a culture of 'its easier not to work" ..hello, why work when you can receive freely?

On that note, I am noticing a lot of angry pantiness from Samoans born in Samoa with kilikiki bats up their backsides moaning and being brutal about Samoans born outside of Samoa, or rather, about anything that is outside their realm of understanding.
Funnily enough, the hatred is coming from the kind that are all talk and have got nothing to show for it,.
Just criticisms, attack attack but in reality: All a bunch of cowards.
Oi, and Happy Year of the Dragon (thus my dragon fiery update above)

So on that note, have a wonderfully blessed and successful week ahead, celebrate the good, surround yourself with people that encourage you (vice versa), not negative people(unfriend) and be unique.
Just like everyone else (:

Maguia le evaevaga o le vaiaso.

hmmm, Friday is nice

2012-01-20T12:47:00.000+14:00

We listed our property to rent out 2 nights ago and made the mistake of leaving my phone number on.
I have been inundated: 18 phone calls, 5 texts and the fukkers keep texing and calling asking to view our house (like, right away).
effing hell....I have taken off my phone number and limited the viewing time to 2 hours tomorrow.
At least we can be picky about who we take since there is such a high demand.

Now, Picture time (coz i'm a bit preoccupied to blog properly)

i-kae

2012-01-17T01:03:00.000+14:00

Today, I started a new job within the same organisation), very exciting but without the fear and anxiety that comes with going somewhere totally new.
I trained myself mentally as I drove to work.
Be professional, Shut up! Think before you speak. But not too hard! Be yourself, without slouching, laughing too loud, or being myself too much, be smart but polite, be articulate but not fiapots...please keo, behave! First impressions are important. rararara.

Got to work, parking was %^&%*& full, had to walk 10 minutes....and now my perfectly made faapaku is becoming a faamoega pi after the trek up the hill. My heels are like, hurting my jandal-only feet that have not seen work heels since November 2011. And my lack of exercise meant that when I got to HR up the hill, past the 2 lakes and over the bridge, I was puffing, out of air, frazzled and look like a kaepu....and just my luck, the HR lady grabs her camera to take a photo of me for my staff ID.
Gee, thanks! perfect timing.

Anyhow, work was great...ya know, like any new job: EVERYONE is friendly, lovely, smiley, nice, amazing, and then you really settle in and see the cracks emerge. heh. But hey, I'm a darned optimist. Professional. Efficient. Employee of the Month before I even started. I love my job already!

At lunch, Frenchy called me from the city to come for lunch. (like a romantic lunch, without the romance and the champagne), actually, cancel that romantic bit. We met at the foodcourt, queud up at the Inki place for curry and arise and naan, we found a free table. Scoffed our meals. He inhaled his as per usual in 5 minutes then proceeds to eat my food. And then 10 minutes later, I rush back to work and he walks back with his colleague to his building. His 2 colleagues who were sitting next to our table. Having a romantic lunch with us, just the four of us.

Training went fantastically well, I have done some of this work before, so its not all foreign to me. Then, they gave me the Ipad, and told me to set myself up and stuff.......and I looked at the fing, the Ifing looked at me, and I had no farken clue how to work it! But I had to stay cool coz EVERYONE in the room were busy fiddling with theirs....thankfully, someone next to me had arrived late and I calmly watched her from the corner of my eoye to see how she did the iFing.

OMG - I am such an ifob.

Otherwise, praise the Lord that in a week's time, I will be the proud receipient of a S.A.L.A.R.Y. ...about bloody time too, sick of robbing MM's piggybank.

What I love about Samoa!

2012-01-12T15:50:00.000+14:00

My God, I love Samoa for this very reason:
You can rob a bank, kill the neighbours' pigs, get jailed for theft, beat someone - whatever crime but people are kind enough to see the best in you and give second chances.
I'm reading an article in Samoa Observer about Savea and Muliagatele re- employing Leota Uelese Petaia.
This is despite him being charged with "several counts of theft and sentenced to 18 months in prison".

Isn't that so wonderful? ...I guess with his wealth of journalism knowledge, he will be an asset to the organisation....~~just don't leave the petty cash lying around lol...~~ .

Most of all, I love the transparency about this whole deal, it is an article in the paper laying out all the facts for all to see: the good and the bad!
So now all the haters who were faikakalaring are pissed off coz they were gonna say "eh! he was a jailbird" but hellllooo....thats in the article too!

5 stars for Samoa Observer today.

My aunty Flower

2012-01-10T23:55:00.001+14:00

My aunty Flower has issues.
But I didn't know this as a child.
Rather, she was the most fascinating, most decorated, most eccentric woman / human I have ever met.
Her perfume was always strong, along with her sizable necklaces and matching earrings.
Her hair was always 'boofed' out, and her face heavily coloured with huey blues and always her striking red lipstick.
I loved it when Aunty Flower came home. Her entrance was always extravagant and she always had gifts for us scruffy kids; candy, cash and sometimes bottles of Baileys.
She adored us, but in her own special way, "Now come luv, fetch me an ice bucket and fan me with a ili and I'll give you $2.00"
She was amazing for giving us cash! Hello, we do that for everyone else for nothing! haha
Whenever she visited, she drew in the crowds and eventually a party happens and she becomes the queen of the night. In all her colourful glamour.
My sibling said she was a famous model long time ago.
My other sibling said she was into drugs.
My classmate's mom said she was married to millionaire.
My mom said we should shut our suega stories and go to sleep or else someone will get strangled.
Whatever, I didn't care about that gossip anyway, I loved watching Aunty Flower talking, with her arms moving about and her bracelets jangling and her loud laugh.
I loved Aunty Flower.
Ah what the hell, I wanted to be Aunty Flower
...Then I ran into Aunty Flower after many years at Lotemau, I was 17 and in my first year at UPY.
She was still the same, still loud, colourful, with a sizable hat and Hollywood shades.
And I soon unearthed some mysteries.
Yes, she was a model and Yes, she was married well, Of course, she was into things (lol) and oh, would I like to join her for a couple of drinks at her friend's bar right that moment?
Sure Aunty!
(and so there I had it, 10am and was headed for a boozey morning tea. Yup, my Aunty is a flaming alcoholic. But I love her to bits nonetheless.

2012-01-08T23:05:00.000+14:00

Last night, we were in Maketu for our old friend's wedding.
Good ol' Maoli wedding, filled with laughter, waiata, scrumptuous (sp?) hangi, beer only bar and an unexpected increase in guest numbers the hour before.
Maketu was the location. South of Tauranga. Famous for Maketu Pies and the best fush and chups on this side of the Island.
Great times and I suddenly felt like a palagi in a Samoan gathering - speech after speech and speech and that was just the beginning....still, I love that in moments like weddings, the faasinomaga of the couple are laid out until you realise, he and she are a not alone but are a part of a very wide but close communities.

To make it all the more fascinating, the groom's old man is from Tongareva (Penrhyn), and mother from Moorea, bride from Maketu ....so each family representative relayed their genealogy back to Tagaloa (similar to our folasaga) and ov course, e kausoga kakou kua'a i aso la (...auuuu, isa!)

I also learned a lot about a programme for young Maori called AMO (Advancement for Maori Opportunities) where both the newly weds had been and have produced young people who are passionate about their culture, language and have exchange programmes with other indigenous groups like First Nations, Hawaiians mmf. Fascinating.
Seki a,...viia le Alii i gei polokalame aua ua kele kele le au lauasa ma le au tiai aoga ae mea sili o lo'o toatele fo'i e o lo'o faatauaina la latou aganuu ma le gagana.
Ia, lava ia kala i kipoki sesi i Samoa.
Pictures of some people in the table next to us:

The three Kolilas

2012-01-08T22:42:00.000+14:00

Damn you Dora

2012-01-06T13:47:00.000+14:00

I blame Dora for many things, one being:
My 4 year old tends to talk like Dora 24/4.

Yesterday, I was weeding the garden and she run out and sit on the steps and "sings" out. "Okay, Mom, If you weed all the grass when I count to 10, you will get a reward!(in that irritating Dora squeaky tone).
"Weed the grass...get the...rewards! Weed the grass ...get the reward!"

What. a. piece of shet.

Fun activity for Samoan kids outside of Samoa, who own a banana tree (:

2012-01-05T00:26:00.001+14:00

So today's weeding the garden ended up being an activity class with Maeva.
Making a ula from a tu moa (inflorescence according to google thank you) of a banana tree.

Step 1: Slash off the tu moa from the banana tree

Step 2: Peel off the layers and break off the unopened flowers

Step 3: Place them in the order you like em on the ula, ie, the nice ones centred and the small ones on the sides.

Step 4: Start sewing, make sure you don't let the sap onto clothes,...it stays forever and forever. Get an old cloth and gently dap ula to remove excess sap.

Step 5: Et voila! Ula tu moa for Miss tama'imoa.

Haast was a blast!

2012-01-03T19:32:00.000+14:00

We were the lucky matua tausi to our baby girl VIJ in Haast at Christmas...the most action packed baptism we've ever experienced.
The Priest got on a chair to take a picture of the congregration for his facebook page, VIJ almost burned her hand with the candle, the priest stepped on JJ's toes and his clown dad kept calling the Godfather, Don Corleone and to top it off, the priest forgot the paperwork...but otherwise, everyone had fun and the big feed afterwards made it all the better for VIJ and her fans.

Waiting for food, again

JJ and MM eating cupcake, again

Crayfish, Again (:

2012 so what.

2012-01-02T01:29:00.001+14:00

Wow, I am a frigging hopeless blogger.
2011 ended and I had not updated properly....I suck.

Ah well, I'm not really big on resolutions, but I can say I have learnt a lot in the past year to prepare me for 2012 and forever and ever. Amen.

Overall, 2011 was a year of achievement and a 'can do' attitude.
I have learnt to focus on my short term plans and make things work. Nothing ambitious but rather knowing what I am capable and ...able.
No moping around feeling sorry for myself (I was the queen of that prior). I am blessed to have a supportive partner and family. But at the end of the day, I had to remind myself that "I" had to make things happen.

Bottom line?
Stop fluffing around waiting for things to happen. Grab opportunities and be useful. Go off facebook if need be, because all hours clicking like and blabbering nonsense online mean NOthing in the long run. I have also deleted silly shallow things that mean nothing to my life...ahhhh, old age has one advantage, you become a better judge of shoddy character. really (:
All in all, I am looking forward to a challenging but exciting 2012.
Change is good. Lots to do but all for the good.

May you all (my loyal 5 readers of this blog ;-) have a wonderful 2012, don't be too ambitious but celebrate your small victories.
It's VERY unlikely you or I are gonna win the lotto, get a boob job or wake up with Richard Kahui between our legs, so just be happy with our unique lives,.. with all its ups and down downs..eh, who wants to be a millionaire anyway!....just enjoy the ride, be it a horse ride, donkey ride or joy ride.
Just enjoy!

Mana to you and yours,

Goddess of Savaii.

20 year from now(when I have sustained some memory loss from too much vodka seeping into my brain arterial archilles), I will need to know that 2011 was important for these events:

-Tuifiti was born in style, in an emergency room - far from my dream plans of a water birth and music..yeaah feking right. He gave me so much grief that as I held him close to my heart that night, I couldn't wait for his Aunty CJ to take him so I can have some fried chicken and chips from the Bakehouse. I was that out of it. (But I love you so much my boy).

- I submitted my thesis (albeit overdue) and graduated in Nov. Mom came over, which was great coz she missed the last one. She did not fail to 'show up' and make her presence felt. Yes, with all 20 ula loles, siapo and $2.00 shop leis. She also made sure I humbled myself and be grateful for my blessings. Then we had crayfish and whitebait from the Jacksons in Haast. Awesome night.

- Spent 7 fantastic weeks in Europe with Frenchy's family and traveled around a bit. Loved catching up with friends, their kids, making new friends, avoiding weirdo friends, haha and seeing heaps more.
-Also having the Samoans over from Rome, Geneva(ulalei), Marseille, Perpignan, Dubai (beached penguin) and the crazy Fijian from London..loved having them over and taking them to Cuers for the day. Loved having chopseuy and rice. choohoo.
-Spending time with our Samoan friends in Marseille, and their beautiful girls.
-Traveling to Austria to be with Tauilagi and his mom, lazing by the pool overlooking Mondsee and late night chats with Desiree over drinks and yummy food...aw i miss that verandah.
-Milan: perfecto.
-Spending 2 weeks in the French Alpes, days spent walking, eating great food, sleeping in, kids playing by the creek, drinking wine (again) and eating.
-Having my 3 sisters over at the kitchen table...priceless.
-Getting my dream job starting in Jan 2012.
-Last week, Frenchy and I were blessed to be God Parents to our Iliganoa in Haast, South Island. Brilliant end to 2011 indeed.

O le Tulafale, The Orator

2011-12-14T20:12:00.000-10:00

Hooray! Today we sent you:

* The Orator
We anticipate delivery between Tomorrow and Friday.
And No, I am not making a copy...I am supporting a local artist and local people.
Sorry cuzzies, buy your own.

My Unintellectual Psychoanalytcal Perspecive:

Now that I've watched it for the third time, I can say this:
The Orator depicts the two-faced-ness (there's a new word for the Oxford dictionary) of our supposed close knit society.
We are harsh, crass, rude and brutal in our everyday lives.
We express no emotions of love and compassion, but more of "I will break your mouth when I find you" instead of "I miss you while you are missing".
We are proud to a fault.
We are assholes like that. (Yes, you too).
On the other hand, when shit hits the fan, when we are faced with problems, we suddenly become an emotional wreck.
We wail at funerals and declare our love (even though we hardly communicated with the deceased when he was alive).
Orators lament in melodiac (new word me thinks) chants that make you want to cry.
When a man expresses his love for a woman in the presence of others, it means the world. Because its just something a Samoan man just doesnt do. (well, at least not to his wife, lol).
But most of all, I am in awe - seeing the land i love on a BIG BIG screen and hearing my language spoken - in a way that is real. In a way that transcends culture, language and becomes a universal story.
There is no pretence or sugar coating. There is no fanfare.
And for that very reason, I love it even more. It makes me want to lie on a mat and eat taro and play in the rain and fall in love all over again.
Yes, The Orator did that for me.
I love you too, kaepu.

You can buy the DVD online through fishpond.co.nz. There is also a bonus feature, Tusi Tamasese's earlier film Va Tapuia.
Here's the link to Fishpond.

the things that matter, really

2011-12-13T01:09:00.000-10:00

As the clock ticks closer and closer to Christmas, I find myself, sitting, as calm and as quietly as possible, relishing in the peace and quiet.
Before the storm.
I am sitting waiting and watching to see what the season brings, and so far, I have a sore head just thinking about it ~~(ahem no more merlot for the lady please)~~.
...what makes a rewarding memorable Christmas?
In our village, this is measured by the number of custen bradas aunties and uncles coming from overseas bearing bags of money and presents.
With the family in Marseille, its a well attended family lunch with close family and friends, seated by the fire exchanging stories.
In Oman, it when everyone who is NOT Muslim hops on a plane and buggers off to where its actually celebrated.
And then it struck me, My goodness, I have two little people whose perception and memories of Christmas lies heavily with: me.
And yet, here I am sitting of the flipping couch watching Celebrity Appentice when I should be filling their memories with important lessons.
Yes - we have put up the tree with the lights and tinsels and all (actually AUnty R did this with MM, not I).
We will go to the Mormon temple lights display like we do every year.
This Thursday is Kindys Xmas party carol singing.
But surely, I could do more that matter with my children....like bake (yeah right), make christmas cards (eh, fai fai lea galo ga send) or or ....eh, ua uma ideas.

In any case, I am grateful that I will see all my sisters (from my mother and father that is;) this weekend. And our boy Tauilagi James. And come Xmas, the kids will meet their cousin Iliganoa for the first time ever. So yes, Christmas for us is spending quality time with family and friends, enjoying the peace, excitement and happy season while we can, before our move (:

Easy recipe, sure!

2011-12-11T18:01:00.000-10:00

So the bananas in the fruit bowl were dying before mine eyes.
And it occured to me that everyone I know bakes a banana cake in their sleep,
coz ya know, its that easy.
I googled the recipe that said "Easy banana cake recipe for the laziest of bakers" or some shit like that.
Well, I want to bake the owner of that recipe because I just burned the blimmin' thing.
It smells nice, but when I pulled it out, it was burnt on the outside and mushy inside.
Easy whaatt....damn you all who say banana cakes are a breeze...you obviously have NOT met me!

Hoh! I'm going to Couplands for some baked-in-an industrial-oven-by-a-real-baker" cake.

Telesa Launch in Auckland !!!

2011-12-11T12:54:00.000-10:00

If you're in Auckland tomorrow (Tuesday), the talented writer/domestic goddess/mother-of-fab5/beautiful Lani Wendt Young will be launching her book Telesa - The Convenant Keeper at AUT Manukau Campus.
Judging by the programme, it looks puuurrrdy good!
* Keynote Address - Dr. Selina Tusitala Marsh
* "Nafanua. Telesa Woman of Sacred Earth, Samoa." - Zita Martel
* Creative Siva Interpretation of "Leila, Taupou and Telesa" - Choreographed and performed by Filoi Vailaau
* Music - Provided by the Urale sisters.
* "Why TELESA is being called the 'Pacific Twilight'" - Book/movie trailer produced by Jordan Kwan, with photography by Tim Rasmussen.

You can also buy the book at the launch, meet Lani, have some chow, watch some entertainment and maybe meet a Daniel in the process....ya never know your luck!

Please RSVP to salwilso@aut.ac.nz mailto:salainaoloa.wilson@aut.ac.nz, especially if you plan to take your family pack along....so perhaps they can cater accordingly, lol.

All the best Lani!

regards,

Saumaeafe

2011-12-09T01:03:00.000-10:00

You know how I feel about Terry Tavita's writing, ...I general want to hurt someone when I glance through his propaganda bs, but today, I am absolutely impressed.
The guy has finally written something worth reading...and I even read the whole article.
Yes, I was that impressed.
Or maybe its the fact that its a story from Savaii.
(coz ya know, I'm baised like that)
Anyhow, have a read - its about his search for the asi monogi (sandalwood).

Click here for the story in Samoa Observer

My Anthropological Observation (:
My understanding of the asi manogi was from the revered Head of State, Tuiatua Tupua Tamasese Efi (and from the late Mrs Pili in NUS).

Tuiatua explained the old traditions around funerals in old Samoa, where sandalwood was burned, particularly to (ahem-pardon my macarbe-ness this lovely evening) overcome the unpleasant odours of the deceased. He said that the asi manogi was burned throughout the night, aumaga would take turns turning and keeping the logs burning. Leaves were also placed around the body, adorning the afu elo, the fine mat (afu-cover, elo-stench).

Witnessing it
one day, we went to Palauli for the excavation work at the Pulemelei Mound where this same ceremony was performed. Excavation was parallel to exhuming a grave (I fink that's the faapalagi of liukofaga?).

This is my fagogo, true story! Aue.
On the day, (Aue) the skies raged and rain fell like always in Samoa. One drop and your hairstraightened afro morphed into a life of its own, scaring ghosts into their graves.
The river swelled and rose and bursted its banks until only the Annandales and the Nelsons 7 wheel drives could cross. The rest had to foot it, one hour's walk in the rain, the mud, the cow shit and lava rocks.
The aumaga from Satupaitea had cleared the forest, leaving only the coconut trees and the skeletons of ancient rock foundations, eerily exposed.
I walked to the top of the Pulemelei and looked all around me.
My God, I was in awe and humbled by its magnificence. Did the Tongans make them do it? UFOS? Pigeon snaring platforms? Whatever these foundations were, it was a blatant reminder that we are shallow remnants of a once amazing history and living culture.
We have lost so so much )-:

Anyhow, I digress. (Aue).

The ceremony started as night fell around us.
Men carried burning aulamas in a single file and the chief cried a funeral chant.
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, ua tala le lagi ma le lagi ma le laaaaaaagi.
I felt goosebumps - I felt the presence of not just the living, but others too.
(auuu - drama queen much?)

At the top of the Pulemelei, a fire was lit and sandalwood tossed in.
It was then and there that, I truly understood the essence that Tuiatua lamented of longingly.
The scent was strong. Pungent even.
It enveloped us and I felt truly sad for those who passed.
For the first time in my life, I was grieving at a funeral of ...no one.
Or rather, of everyone gone before me.
Being at that ceremony reminded me also of this: My name is TupaimatunaFotuosamoaVaasiliifitiTuisafua, I am from a long line of chiefs and orators and warriors who have graced this land before me. (errr....aichachae! chooohoooo!)

(Epilogue: So I chatted up the boys by the fire the ceremony and even today, I try to erase the shattering words they uttered. The words that killed my nostalgic historical buzz:
The sandalwood they used was bought from Frankies Supermarket. Buggers).

Tuilaepa was right

2011-12-08T23:38:00.001-10:00

Every Ioane and his chicken is getting a matai title.

Le Ulugalii fou

2011-12-08T23:37:00.000-10:00

And we wish the happy couple all the happiness in the world, what a beautiful couple #HonorPausasaeMaimauLa'uDanjealousparade.

Le au Se'i faga

2011-12-01T02:36:00.001-10:00

Today, I had a wander around online and found an organisation called Samoa Web Ambassadors Programme.
I was intriqued, truly.
Their website boasts such wonderful 'deeds' and a list of 'initiatives' that will benefit Samoans...I was about to sing "halleluia praise be" from the mountain tops. But.
Ahem - It's me, remember?
I need a Vailima and some sashimi on the side to get me singing.
So who are these Oh-so-gracious Samaria agaleleis?
Well, I have to go with the information from their website:

They are run by a "Samoan charitable trust...established to teach marketing and to encourage in-bound Samoan tourism, post-Tsunami"

A core function of SWAP activities is to develop, build and maintain an inbound tourism portal website called The Samoa Story.

(ae click aku i le link e ep faasoloakor)

Now, before you yawn, let me say this,

I smell a isumu pe.

I am sure they are genuine, but I have the same concerns as with many other Govenment partnerships - many that have got belly up because the HRPP Government didn't do their homework and these so called partners didn't reveal their TRUE intentions.
Are they a business venture?
Or a charitable organisation?
And if they are there to help promote Samoa online, then what the hell is Samoa Tourism doing? Also, I see on their website that, with the support of the Government and Samoa Land Corp, they have gotten themselves 5 acres of land at Tagaigata.

Again, I am just voicing my personal views and my inner fears because this feels like many other deals in the past that have ended badly (cue to enter: the elusive Lubinsky, Taumesina, Jesse James and thieves from the Wild Wild West(Sasina), Jackie Chen and the golden nonu, Tiavea Uta, etc etc.

I am also nervous because their presence feels as if they are trying to 'fit the bill' in terms of eligbility for donor funding. And you and I know there are more than enough consultants and analysts with a fist in the pie before the $5 cent even drops at Faleolo Airport.

Ironically, the more I read, the more I realise e fai lava siga kopi o si au vaega:
eg: Habitat for Humanity model of volunteerism: same same.
VSA (Volunteer Service Abroad): same strategy, using people's expertise to help those in need, in this case, they supposedly have website building/portal skills.

NewsFlash guys: I CAN BUILD A WEBSITE. AND ALL MY COUSINS IN SAVAII CAN MANAGE A SOCIAL MEDIA CAMPAIGN (like duuur! who doesn't know how to facebook? choohoo)
But hey, you never know, they might sincerely mean well, they might genuinely be a charitable organisation that want the best for Samoa...~~Nekkminut~~ and if this is the case, then Bon chance and lets see some results.

Move over Chef Ramsay ....oi suga e...

2011-11-25T13:29:00.000-10:00

My apologies if you are a friend on Facebook and notice that I'm being a lazy bugger and reposting exactly what I have there to here....desole, ua ova le pisi (not).

Not being childish or anything but...

2011-11-24T00:02:00.000-10:00

mine's bigger (:

Ps: 6 months later, I decide to collect the darned hard bound copy from the printers, $170 later, ouch!

today in our lives

2011-11-20T22:50:00.000-10:00

What a memorable day of being absolutely productive in the things I love:
- I finished one tuiga - ahead of the deadline.
- I fed Tuifiti 2 jars of baby food and NOTHING came out, epic achievement. He was a wee champ today playing and being cheerful and when I put him in the cot, he just amused himself and went to sleep not soon after.
- MM woke up and dressed herself and made own breakfast, in fact, if she could drive she'd have driven herself to school....she is going through a lovely fia teine matua phase. Of course, it translates into fia poto at times.
- After dropping off MM at kindy, i took the boy to Spotlight and I spent an hour restocking, buying Xmas things, fabrics on sale and scored some gorgeous ramikin bowls and casserole dishes at 60% less. Score!
-Tonight, I had left out 2 chicken breasts for dinner. I chucked it in the pan to brown, with white wine and usual spices, then left in on top of the potatoes in the casserole dish....Magnifique!! The chicken was not dry as usual, it was actually moist and yummmm with cheese topping...(can you tell Frenchy is not around with the abuse of food and his $$?)
-Lastly, we just tried out the rich chocolate cupcake recipe from our cupcake book...and it is yummmmay!!!

Now, I need clean the chocolate off the wall, thanks to MM trying be helpful.

Yay to the productive day!!!

Manuia le po.

some pix from the wkend

Of all the toys, bouncey castle and more, they went for the tube...shocker.

Our favourite hangout, Browsers Bookstore in the city, opens late, so we usually drop in after dinner and shout her highness a book or two (~~secondhand, shush~~).
This week, she got a Christmas book and Piggie went to Market.

Statement of the day

2011-11-15T19:08:00.000-10:00

MM to me: Mom you look like Cinderella.
Me; Thank you MM, why do you say that?
MM: Coz you always do the feaus on your own.

Gee, thanks mate!...thanks for noticing while you dust icing sugar off your cupcake and onto the floor for Cinderella to clean up.

Misbehaving rugby brats

2011-11-15T16:59:00.001-10:00

Zac Guildford needs to be dropped from the ABs...NZRU need to stop babying him and they should punish him instead.
Far out, how will he learn if every time he falls over he doesn't have to face the consequences?
He is a professional rugby player, paid to perform.
He has misbehaved on countless occasions, so in the professional world, there should be one solution:
Fire the shithead.

...As for that John Key leaked tape, far out ..what a storm in a teacup! media need to report on real issues relevant to voters not some shoddy tape.

Chilli Dogs

2011-11-10T14:04:00.000-10:00

I was driving along the riverside, my mind was preoccupied with my next appointment, busy busy busy, 3 meetings then speed back to collect the smalls, make food for our visitor, hang the washing, book flights, apply for 3 jobs etc etc.
...When a song came on the radio that completely threw me off-guard.
And got me totally lost in Nostalgia Boulevard. (...as in, I literally missed the turn and found myself on the wrong side of the river, damenshoot).
The song was. "Ghetto superstar(That is what you are)".
It reminded me of chilli and hot dogs, fried onions and mustard from that small shop at Malifa opposite Leififi.
Yes - the memory was THAT strong.
I could almost taste the damn thing too (p.s: am still talking about hot dogs here relle, fyi).
Anyhow, it got me thinking - about what could have, but didn't (phew!).
It made me sad for a wee moment, because I remembered how great those times were, but it didn't last.
I had a lot of growing up to do, and a lot of places to see.
I'm trying not to let out too much, because I'm a cold calculating shet like that, and I don't want you coming back at me later when I'm world famous (in Savaii) and say, "eh, that Goddess used to eat a lot of chilli dogs" lol.
Anyhow, my message to all you parents out there is this, the best thing that can happen to your teenage daughter is that their first love is a complete prick, a liar, a loser, a real dumb ass.
Because when your daughter gets dissapointed from that initial relationship (which she expertly ended:), she will hopefully learn not to fall in love too easily, but be a real skeptic, be critical, be wary of all males thereafter, will have stringent standards and will (hopefully) learn to separate the losers from the good ones.....one hopes.
And there you have it.
Love the Ghetto Goddess.

Macabre

2011-11-05T18:33:00.000-10:00

The first time I saw a dead person was the old lady Olovae from Sapapalii.
She was carefully dressed in black, her coffin was adorned with white lace and laugasese.
Her humble fal was now covered in fabric. Jesus. Plastic flowers. Wreath. Rolls of fine mats. Her finest china on display. Jam and butter biscuits. Tea. Coffee. Lazy chiefs looking for a free feed.
Lagipoiva was scared, Malelega was indifferent. I was. strangely fascinated.
This was the woman who yelled at anyone and everyone, angrily, barking orders from dusk till dawn demanding peace and then shattering it with a resounding “Aikakae kou alelo pogaua”.
Simply put, she was not a nice human.
Still, I was intrigued. For who were these outsiders wailing at her side?
Maybe, just maybe then, she was a nice person a long time gone?
Surely she was, because the wailing had turned into a sing song lament about the old kind, gentle woman, with a heart of gold, always giving and loving and caring.
Was I at the right funeral? Who was this woman?
Several eulogies later, where I rolled and rolled my eyes in disbelief at the inaccuracies between the tearful molimau and the angry personality that was Olovae, I had a moment of clarity.
We wail at funerals. On cue.
We lament our dearly beloved. Because we want the world to know, we loved them.
We pull out the fine woven ie samoa to gift and the expensive lace to cover the coffin.
Because we care.
But will some of us express ourselves in a positive manner while our loved ones are walking, talking, yelling?
Hell no.
We are a bunch of heartless shets like that, we wait until they are six feet under to say what we really feel.
Be kind to your loved ones, even if they are a pain in the neck, make an effort because your wailing and your crocodile tears will mean NOTHING to them when there are gone.
Amene ma amene.

Scholarships Deadlines

2011-11-04T11:34:00.000-10:00

I dont have the links at the moment but just a reminder to Pacific students, lots of deadlines coming up for scholarships and awards for 2012...so get busy with those applications:

Key ones I can think of:

Greg Urwin Awards: All Forum country nationals are eligible, get that foot in the door for those with career aspirations in the Pacific.

South Pacific - USA Scholarship (5 spots, undergrad and post grad) for East West Center, Hawaii.

Universities in New Zealand: Most have grants up to $1000 from the Equity Fund, PIPEF, etc for Pacific students...very easy process for UOW students, only 2 pages to fill and one reference. Put in your academic and cultural, sports coontributions...eh, just make up some fagogo about it...email me for tips, lol jtiatia@gmail.com

Go to the MPIA website for more scholarship information and just google it...plenty of chances but you have to be in to win (:

Bonn chance!

Screwed by association

2011-11-03T13:03:00.000-10:00

Something has been bothering me lately,
It's to do with my sports and inspirational hero, La'auli Michael Jones.
I love the guy. ..right
He is an exepmplary leader and role model, who is ...well, brilliant as a sports person and as a Kiwi/Samoan/Pacific Islander/personality.
I admire his faith aand personality....ioe, you can call me a fan.
Whatever he will sell, I will consider buying, ..including Signa Insurance.
But in recent months, his associations with certain groups and people had made me wonder,
What the F#$%^ are you thinking La'auli????
- First, his name was in the midst of the National campaign.
- Following that, he was caught up in the PEDA deal where millions were signed over to a non-existent Pacific group that has yet to do something for Pacific people but had the 'know how' and the contacts with the right people (Te heuheu kia ora bro).
- Soon after, he get involved in the defunct Nonu juice deal with J.Chen and co.
I begin to wonder, is he going into these 'associations' willingly or is his good reputation being used to promote these various ventures that have since gone balls up?

Whatever the case, I hope he treads lightly in the future and do his homework before jumping head in first into these dealings.....it would be such a shame at his age to be dragged down -

I can't stand seeing another role model go down because they didn't make informed decisions.

C'mon Iceman, smarten up!

Ground breaking achievement

2011-11-02T00:37:00.000-10:00

Frenchy is at a 3 day training with his team.
This leaves me with the two smalls. But this is not the purpose of the story.
Rather, not all goes well when we are left on our own, because of these reasons:

1. Taking the rubbish out, something I have only done about 4 times in my life.
So, I got up super early, carried the two large trash bags to the front, then back for the green bin...et voila! Good keol!
Then we got home from work this evening and the stuff is still there, ...auoka, wrong day vasti! Tomorrow is rubbish day.

2. I forgot Frenchy was going with a group of people in the company vehicle. I hopped in my car (with the smalls) and was about to reverse this morning, only then did I realise a particular obstacle in the rearview mirror, the other car. Aivavasti!

3. MM and I are eating ice cream before dinner and pancakes before bed. Yes - I love Frenchy's absence for that reason.....porkies much...we'll be chunkier fatties if his trainings were longer haha.

But really, what sucks the most is, I am overly tired but I can't shut the door and have time out for a bit..argh, I applaud solo moms at moments like these! I applaud widows the world over for their persistence and strength. Oh golly I'm a whiner today. We miss you Frenchy!!!!
But thank the Lord for the drowsy-ing effects of a warm bath, spaghetti bolognaise and warm milk...both went down 20 minutes after bath.
Whoever tries to get back up between now and dawn, Pamol is on stand by.
k, I'm knackered, manuia le po ma fai se miti malie

I've deactivated again

2011-11-01T00:12:00.001-10:00

I was beginning to get clinically depressed watching the SRU tractor crash into a mauadtheova tree...and even more depressed knowing that very little will change in our oiland paradise.
These kulukus will be replaced by another lot of kulukus...its the nature of the beast they say.
Aue.
I'm also deactivating because I am beginning to have superficial and lazy relationships with my friends. For instance, we are chatting on Facebook when they are 5 minutes drive away...I did explain that it was easier that way because I didn't have to get out of my jammies to communicate, but that didn't go down too well. ...so off went the jammies and off we went to visit....and then we ended up ON facebook perving at pictures of newly signed up Tron rugby players on Bookface.
How pathetic is that?
So this week, I am staying off the blimmin thing (small steps, small steps matey) so help me Malia ma le au Farasaio.
....lets see how long I last.

Aue!

Samoan names

2011-10-30T17:43:00.002-10:00

Since I started this blog (You'll be 6 years soon Fagogo bebe), I have gotten heaps of random emails from people wanting to know about:
-Samoa, about people they met from Samoa, about places, food, about who kocked who up, about who wants to knock me out becuase of what I say, about what places to visit, about etc etc.
The Most frequent requests I have gotten from people are about the tuigas but in recent months, it has been about Samoan names.....to the point where I did a word doc with names I like, and names people commonly ask for, so here goes a few that I had listed previously for you to choose from, but do feel free to email me for a perfect name for your baby and I won't list it here (:
jtiatia@gmail.com
No fees apply. lol

A
Alofa: Love
Alofagia: To be loved.
Agasala: Sin
Alaisa: Rice
Aialaisa: Eat rice
Alaolesau: The path where ghosts walk in the night from the sea to the mountains, do not cross.
Alaimoana: My uncle who lives in Australia and likes Vailima.
Aitalafu: Debt
Aiu: Not wanting to give, as in "What a aiu guy"
Aikae: Not recommended.

E
Eleele: Earth
Efuefu: Dust. (You like that? you freak show you)
Eleitino: A taupou name from the village of Apia, and if you are not related and not connected to the family, don't use it.
Eleimana: The two words I like phonetically, Elei and mana put together and forms a name with no f****** meaning.
Elena: copied from the Spanish Elena
Eletise: Electicity
Enele: Transliteration of my friend Henry from Sinamoga
Epenesa: Name of Manu Samoa physio back in the days when Manu Samoa had to share rugger boots and borrow jerseys. Oh wait...its still happening. sorry, I sidestepped there.

I
Ilipu: Blow the couch shell or who one had a slightly unfortunate mouth area.
Iiga: Name of Faautu's ancestor who built a boat and sailed the Iiga Pass in Saipan while he was exiled there. Thus the name, Iiga Pass. Legend.
Igaga: Whitebait only found in Puleia, Savaii
Itagia: Hated
Itumalo: District
Iamua: First fish
Isupe: Runny Nose

O
Olaga: Life
Olioli: Joyous, Joy
Osana: Praise
Oloa: Treasures, goods.
Osofaalava: Don't name child this.
Oti: Goat or Cut or Dead. Take you pick.

U
Ufa: Don't name child this.
Ulufanuasesee: from legend
Ulutala: Title Page
Usugafono: Attending a conference/meeting. (In the event that your bebe was conceieved at one of these.

F
Fai: Depending on pronounciation it can mean Banana, To do, breaking of sail, break ones jaw(Fafa'i really) or the fish that killed Steve Urwin.
Filifilia: Chosen. The chose one.
Fotuosamoa: The greatest name in the world. Apparently. Don't name child or else it'll be a beautiful stunner in the future. True story.
Fiafia: Happy
Fusuaga: Fight
Faafufusi: Don't name your kid this.

G
Gaualofa: Now well known because of the traditional vaa currently sailing across the Pacific and beyond.
Galusina: White wave
Galutoo: Bleeding wave
Gogosina: White dove.
Gaupapa: Slug

L
Lesina: I like that name.
Leutogitupaitea: from the legend, Leutogi being the cannibal sister who is banned and becomes a star in the east (east) who rises in the early morning.
Lupe: Pigeon, but if you want to romantice it, then make it a Dove.
Lupesina: White ~~(pigeon)~~ dove
Lupelele: Flying ~~(pigeon)~~ dove
Lupelei: My cousin from Safua
Lupeuluiva: Pigeon with 9 heads. arrrr...vicious!
Lomitusi: Printer
Leaisetupe: No dinero.

M
Manaia: Nice or male son of high chief/male dancer
Mana: Spirit, the essence of being, a common name/term throughout the Pacific, and my boy's third name (:
Malaia: curse. yes, because people have named their illigit kids this ):
Manamea: Beloved, I love this one too, so adoring.
Malie: Nice, or shark.
Maile: Dog
Mailei: Trap. (As in, she got pregnant to trap him)
Manase: My great grandparents were faifeau in this village in Savaii.
Moe: Sleep
Manuia: Bless/Well.
Moetolo: Sleep crawler
Moana: Ocean

N
Nonoa: Tie, as it, "child, when I got pregnant with you, I got nonoa'd down".
Nofoa: Seat.
Nuanua: Rainbow
Nuanuaolealofa: NGO in Samoa
Nonu: fruit with healing components that Jackie Chen and co are in dodgy talks over.

P
Pusi: Cat but also have other connotations.
Pipi: Chiefly title from Salelologa. Don't name child because of 'those' connotations.
Pele: Darling...my darling or my beloved or deck of cards
Penina: Pearl
Pemita: Permit
Palota: Elections, Vote.
Pusalalau: Name of a special needs group in Samoa headed by Enele and Sina.

S
Salamasina: The first tafaifa in Samoan history. Also her descendants include head of Papauta College, Salamasina who was well respected in Samoa.
Sala: Fine (Village fine)
Sene: Coin
Sefulu: Ten
Sina: The name of almost every heroine in every samoan legend,..some are extended to be Sinaleulalei of Vaiala, Sinaleavele the spirit ghost of Avele, Sinaleulaseasea of Paia, Sina tupe faamolemole etc etc
Sisi aferika: African snail
Sikalamu: Scrum
Sikoa: Score, Try in a game of rugby or in a romantic courtship.

T
Tuaimoana: I love this song "e Tua i moana e tua i moana la ta tu'ugatala"..before I had kids I wanted to name one Tuaimoana.
Tautalailagi: My greatgrandmother from Fusi Safotulafai who married Futu from Gautavai. I have about 7 relatives named this.
Tifaga: Movies....for those who met their baby daddy at the movies.
Tauilagi: My sister's son's original name. Thanks Mom (:
Tausagimaimanu: Birds sing in the trees.
Tuiatua Tupua Tamasese: The revered Head of State of Samoa. Probably not for naming your child because those are matai titles (:
To'oa: Another taupou name that is overused incorrectly to the point where every other Miss Samoa contestant is suddenly a To'oa. Do not use if youre not connected to it.
V
Vaimoana: Divided or parted by the oceans....awww, how romantic. ~~gag.~~
Vasa: Ocean aso name of bitchy nurse on Shortland Street.
Viiga: Praise.
Vanimonimo: Sky
Vaatausili: after legend of fijian boat shifted onto the trees. also name of skinny guy who slept in cave and his body grew.
Vailima: Beer. Water in the hand.

H
Herota: Herrod from the Bible

K
Kilikiti

R
Rapiti: self explanatory really.

cheers,

Halloweeennn who does that??

2011-10-30T12:21:00.000-10:00

We live in Ni'u Ziland right.
Ten years ago, Halloween was a thing that people from Amerika were celebrating and something we here in the bottom Pacific Ocean simply, ...watched on tv.

So all the ads on tv this week did not faze me, nor did I plan to buy candy for any little sheeets knocking on my door.
Yes, I'm a non-American bitch like that. Thank you very fat.

But what I was unprepared for was the midget telling me, (along with a sketch in her scrap book) that she was going to be a mermaid.

Why am I unprepared?
Because she had a picture in her mind, transformed onto a page and communicated to me in these terms "Youre going to make me a mermaid with beautiful golden shells and a tail that is sparkly. I also want some pearls on my top and a purple bra like Ariel, okay mom?"
~~#damnfriggingshoot~~
This was last night, for the party down the road.....today.

I had to get up at 6am to put the damned thing together before she got up.
Out of the lack of 'mermaidy resources' I had to tear one of my puletasi ies for the tail and she also went ahead and chose my expensive tuiga shells for her hairpiece.

As I am doing this, I am suddenly struck with guilt. I was a demanding little shit with my mom when it came to stuff like this.
My goodness - i used to do just this...even up to when I was 20...argh!

My mom did my traditional wear for some pageant and every time she tried the garment on me I got so worried and at times upset because it wasn't what I had in mind!..and then it turned out to be winning traditionally inspired wear in the end and I was reminded again, Mom knows best.

Now, I am getting punished for being a nightmare to my own mother.
I have my own demanding little brat who is expecting an amazing costume that will exceed what she has in her wee mind.
So help me Allah!

...and damn you Ariel and Halloween!

joyous sunday in the sun

2011-10-29T18:04:00.001-10:00

wow- what an absolutely sunny perfect day.
we spent most of it outside, walking to the river, feeding ducks, walking again and for the first time in months, weeding the garden which is now actually a weed garden.

This is also the first week we are finally having some normality; no guests, trips away, things to rush to...so I feel a lot more settled, have done ALL of the washing, have made 2 tuigas in a week (a-m-a-z-i-n-g) and even got Maeva's bestie over for the day to play(after months of ...okay MM...later, we''ll get her later..stop asking MM!).

Exam season at uni, so our neighbours the counsellors are at their usual busy phase,...suddenly deadly ill students, family problems suddenly cropping up on exam week and the odd suicidal attempt to make the week fly.

What's hapening this week:
-Lights Party at the church down the road. Instead of Halloween. Free sausage sizzle. So yay, Iwe are Evangelists for a day.
-Frenchy in Supershitty for 3 days, so I'm solo-mom'ing ~~-take outs, ice cream and tv on 24/7.~~
-The New Caledonians get in on the Saturday, so gotta brush up on ze broken French.

Aunty Ev still hasnt set my camera, so hope we get it this week.

Manuia le vaiaso.

Blow your own trumpet!

2011-10-27T14:43:00.000-10:00

Our HR department said to me recently:
"Sometimes we presume that just because we work for the same organisation, the selectors will know you, don't be afraid to blow your own trumpet and sell yourself".

In other words, don't wait for someone else to ili the pu koso for you, do it yourself and do it well...ia ua lelei ili pu mai Sagoge.

So, I packed my instruments and went down the path of self promotion and bolstering my networks.
...Which, is like, tooooootally not me! (ahem - no way! I mean, talking about myself??? I don't do that, no! I I I don't do that!).

Anyhow, I gave myself 5 days. I was going to tackle one person a day (not Tuilagi tackle, but more so, I was going to win over a mover and a shaker one day at a time).
Result?
It works. It works wonders.
(smiles from ear to ear)

Like the MBA mantra states, close your eyes....
"Happiness is a positive cash flow" ooooommmmmmmmmm!

Applying to be the Manu Samoa Team Manager

2011-10-26T15:05:00.001-10:00

I'm applying for the job, since I have the qualifications by the looks of it.

I can drink till the 'crooks' come home,
I like to share rugby gears and perks with my family and friends,
I like to swear when things are not going my way.
I enjoy staying in nice hotels when other people are paying for it.
...and ordering room service.
I like a free ride.
I like paid holidays, especially family holidays where my cousin, uncle and custen bradas are all on the same holiday package with me.
I like being on the sideline with a dead phone on my ear pretending I'm busy talking when the boys are playing, and I get to wear an expensive suit paid for by samoan kids lunch money.
Ultimately, I like being around men, particularly Manu Samoa men.
They who will come begging to me for gears, and I will have nothing to give but the shirt on my back. Literally.
Please consider my application favourably,
Kind regards,

Goddess Schuster.
(P.s and yes - I prefer that you address me by my honorary title, not my igoa kaule'ale'a, thank you for your coming :-)

oh what a week!

2011-10-24T12:13:00.003-10:00

So it started with a birthday, then graduation, throw in some crayfish and whitebait, top it off with some Moet and tah dah! splitting disgusting hangover and a whole day of work to plough through.

I am very very overjoyed that my mother made it to witness me recieve that piece of paper. She missed the last one, so this one was fabulous with her presence. I walked with MM on stage (because she wasn't having it any other way) but more so because she was the driving force that pushed me to start on my masters journey and then she endured ~~months~~ weeks of zero attentiobn while I traveled and then camped in the labs doing my write up.

If I had my way, I would have taken the whole family basket to collect it, because they were all in many ways, part of my trip....but hey, its a palagi stage, can't hold our lot. lol.Things got even better when Lagipoiva walked into the back door.....AFTER she convinced me she just couldn't make it because of meetings. What an amazing surprise....even more so because I had someone to help me straighten my hair.

The children LOVED having the relations over. Tui loved being around my mom and would crawl towards whereever she is. MM of course was in princess heaven having Lagipoiva at home....yay, someone who can tell her fairytale after fagogo after current affairs and everything in between.

My other sister (yes - i have many, in case you hav'nt noticed, lol) Marilynn, soon because Tuis favourite - he loved hanging around her malu!!! and then he was enjoying soft cushions when Marilynn held him...bahaha! And did I mention the crayfish and the whitebait fritters?

On Saturday, we had a friends nite to celebrate...over a large bowl of potent punch with too much vodka (thank you laus and pusalalaus for leaving that apple Absolut in the kitchen).

On Sunday, we cleaned up a little then off to the Mount to watch the game with the Rogers and friends. Great night, the ABs finally end their drought after 24 years and thank God for that, this nation deserved it!!

The highlight for us as Varsity supporters was OUR Stephen Donald saving the day for New Zealand, after he got hated and slagged all this time...now look whose laughing now?!!

Best yet, Dusautoir was the player of the tournament and Frenchy got some $$$ from TAB for his only try...whooohoooo.

...and then the vodka punch was out again to ruin us all.

Now that that BIG week is over,...and I have had 6 hours sleep, I wish to thank all my family and friends who have been there for us over the last 2 trying years. We love you and like momma said, "hold your head high but don't forget your identity, humble yourself and be grateful...stop asking. "Why me" and start 'doing" and being the difference"

Viia le Alii ona o nei faamanuiaga

Ia, and a classic to wrap up the photo collage by none other than my mother dearest - that you for the fa'aleaga aka, hah.

The Orator and the Doctor

2011-10-17T01:50:00.002-10:00

At the doctors with mother dearest:

Doctor: Where does it hurt?

Mom: My leg, foot and thigh.

Doctor: What do you do for exercise?

Mom: Ia, I walk, do jazzercise with my group, I always do my breathing exercises...(and she pauses dramatically, straightens her back and inhales coolly in a Hollywood demonstration)...and of course, I played hockey and netball (back in the 50s but hey, whose counting?).

Doctor: Have you had any accidents before? Maybe a fall? Anything u can recall?

Mom: No..................................................No not really.
Well, I did have an accident when I was dancing, (and she looks at me)...e ke magakua? (I didn't). We were on a Tourism Road Show and you know foi a, we women, when we danced, we did the aiuli because there were no men in the group...you know (and the doctor looks searchingly for the punchline) when I got down to do the aiuli, I decided to land on my backside....(and she's near acting this in the office).

Doctor: So what happened?

Mom: "Ia" and she gets up and does the faakaupaki, "I broke the bone. But it's okay...I went to the hospital and yeah, they killed off the nerve. Really, its not my back that's the problem, its my leg, foot and thigh".

Doctor: So, you had no other accidents then?

Mom: No, not at all.

Doctor: So, can you show me where it hurts?

Mom: "E fai aku a le ufa ae fesili soo mai"...and she shows where it hurts again.

Doctor: "Okay, let me organise for some xrays and bloods etc etc, we need to get you back on your feet dancing and singing Madam Dancer from the Pacific!"

Mom: "For sure, Dr Singh! Can't wait" and she gets up, she breaks out a pe'avao move much to the Doctr's amusement and then she breezes out of the room without a worry in the world...ae galo le vae lae kiga...ma laga ako ma le kagaka ga la omai. lol.

right-o...I just loaded the photos that have been in her highness' camera since 2010 and just to give you an idea about this character, her wardrobe is a myriad of colours and fabrics and bling and flowers and hey, 2 scarves are never enough to protect her shoulders from the blistering snows in Samoa....enjoy.

Yes - It shall be a really good week (:

2011-10-16T21:37:00.000-10:00

Spent the weekend with mine familia in New Lynn, loved loved loved it for this reason:
They claimed the smalls and I slept like a baby ~~(and drank like an Irishman)~~.
The baby on the other hand was spoilt rotten...he fell asleep in Mom's arms and woke up on Aunty Ev's chest, and i tell ya, the kid loved every moment of being adored and cuddled and poked and carried and loved.
He will have a panick attack for sure next week when he finds himself.. ALONE in the living room with non living items to amuse him...Oi kalofa e i le Tuif.

Speaking of babies, I took Mom to the Mall, (you know, buy her coffee and then leave MM with her) while I "quickly nipped" off to grab a few things...(right-o).
One hour later, I find Mom seated at the table with a group of elderlies listening intently as she spoke. Did I mention my mom is a born story teller? Well, these elderlies were like, watching her in awe as she "educated" them about Samoa.

Anyhow, next to our table, a really large Samoan woman was feeding a baby about Tui's age(maybe younger): cake, icing and cream...what the heck?!!! thats child abuse right there!!!

Okay - one last thing about this scatterbrain entry...I am loving having Mom here all to ourselves...lots of talk, talk, sleep and kids time, with a trip to the shops and visit relatives to break things up a bit...loving it, she's here till Saturday, so am making the most of quality time.

Eliota's hearing is this morning

2011-10-14T09:44:00.000-10:00

In Auckland city.
Good luck and hope you don't get into too much trouble with the IRBolos.
...Judging by the crowds gathered at Emily Place, I wonder if any Samoan is working this morning (:

Is Pity the new black tonight?

2011-10-14T02:51:00.001-10:00

OMG! this is freaky!
I started a blog entry, like most of my recent ones: A whine-a-thon and continue my "feel sorry for me" tirade to complete the week but I got distracted by the updates on the dashboard....Ulalei and Perpetual Drifter have beaten me to it: what the heck?!! Your chips are down too? Is ANYONE having a jolly good time on here? dayum, whoever is reading our blogs are gonna be totally depressed come morning.
Eh - cheer up ladies, we have much to be grateful for, like.....South Africa is out of the World Cup and ummm, hokey pokey is yum at this hour.

But here's something that made me laugh so loud I almost cried.....A caller on Radio Samoa (in Auckland) telling the listeners that Paul Williams is now engaged....(and i thought, booorring, old news)...to Julie Tuilagi.
chooohooo!
Julie is my sister's classmate from high school and lets just say, Julie has the grace and confidence to glide onto the 22 and replace McCaw and hold up the scrum too after rucking some balls.
Get the picture?
Lemme look for a picture

Phone calls I hate

2011-10-12T17:25:00.000-10:00

This week, I have had a hate hate relationship with my phone.
All the calls I got were crappy ol' ones that I didn't need., so much that I switched it off (and resulted in several angry voice messages from Frenchy coz he couldn't get thru).

Caller 1: Automated Vodafone reminder that my account was due. Fukkers.

Caller 2: Frenchy asking me to pick up the smalls coz he was busy with work. Coz you know, my job is less importance and he earns more. Arse-frarken-bum.

Caller 3: Tuif's Daycare sayin' "He's slept more than usual and a bit clingier than usual...always wanting to be held, so maybe you should come get him" Putrido, do your well paid job and look after the boy.

Caller 4: My 42 year old brother who still lives at home calling me to ask (third call this year, same demand) "Ska cologne please sis, not the cheap stuff aye, a good one....give it to mom when she comes". Yes - he lives at home and old enough to have 9 children and still relying on others. Frakken damen shoot.

Caller 5: My 42 year old brother calling back "oi, and i'm running low on work shirts sis, can you get me some of Frenchys ones". Did I mention I only work 20 hours a week to pay for my kids daycare, mortgage, food and survival? And he lives at the family house in Lalovaea with no weekly costs? #learntostandonyourowntwofeet

Caller 6: Daycare again, "now Tuif is crying and I think you should collect him?" No, I'm in a meeting, can you give him Pamol please?
"Sorry, you need to sign the medical form in order for us to give him Pamol." Okay, I'll come get him. ~~(but i really wanted to say, kefes, do your job).~~

K, better go eat some soup to make me feel better..argh!

nothing like a punch in the gut to bring ones day dddooooown!

2011-10-10T17:58:00.000-10:00

Oui....today is one of those days, when you (me to be exact) think you're winning against the tide when in fact, the current has taken you waaaay out....and the prospect of getting back is just overwhelming, so you just give up, and sink to the bottom.

eh, i'm just being cryptic when i should just get to the point.

What a shitter of a day.
Bring on the weekend already.

Anyhow, just to end with a positive note, this is a gorgeous photo I took in Taaga.

This leaf is used as a traditional cure for an overactive bladder/bladder infection, which we call kulika kamo'e (where you are running to the toilet for a wee but it's only a trickle) or for kulika kiga (when passing urine is painful). The leaves are picked, shredded and pounded until there is a cup of liquid to drink.

sorry - aimless blog update today....but do tune in for fascinating blog entries in like,....never. lol

Getting ready for Lotu Tamaiti

2011-10-07T20:07:00.001-10:00

Today, we went to look for a dress for MM.
We came home with 2 dresses, new shoes, pjs and stockings.
She will make a convincing negotiator, coz I just got robbed.

Anyhow, it takes me back to Safua, being one of 4 girls and my mom used to make us all a dress, usually two for the 2 services.
It was the highlight of the year when she carried out the sewing machine and lays out the rolls of fabrics.
Wow - we were so lucky!
She used to stay up, sewing away, having countless cups of tea and ov course, the Consulate ciggies on the side.
Oi aue....
(YES! Ireland scored!)
Anyhow, Mom arrives in the morning, and we are about to drive up tonight to celebrate Lotu Tamaiti with some of our relations.
MM has memorised her wee tauloto and is all psyched - something tells me she's all mimika now but will freak out in front of the auloku.
ah well, it doesn't matter, she's got the dress and looks the part.
...oh, and aunty is making panipopos...choohooo!

Going home during lunch break

2011-10-06T14:46:00.000-10:00

The boy got sent home because he has 'hand, foot and mouth'.
P.s NOT related to the cattle disease....as I soon found out on google. (:

Frenchy stayed back while i went to work, but because he has an urgent meeting, I drove home to look after my lil cow while he goes....lucky for me, Bebe Mooloo is asleep, so i had some food and then saw the Oyster Bay sitting in the fridge begging for company.

Naturally, being a kindred spirit that I am, I obliged,

Wow - I need to do his more often, having a glass in the afternoon.

Now the shitty part is, I have to get back to work....keste ia se,

Have a good weekend everyone!!!

In other world news:
Kauloto: OMG - MM has memorised her kauloko!!! (Not bad for someone who hasn't been to church in ages! (:
...well, i told her if she memorised it, shell get a white dress......(note to new parents, bribes work wonders).

Panipopo Fix

2011-10-05T16:52:00.000-10:00

In case I forget, again.
Here's the best thing that's happened to any fob living abroad since....corned beef.

A blog dedicated to all your Samoan food favourites, like kopai, pagipopo, pai fala and everything else you had at the makeki fou when you was 12 back in 1969.

Panipopos

Thanks to her, there has been a spate in women of all ages making panipopos and posting pictures of their baked goodness on facebook, blogger and whoever else cared to see.

My latest favourite is this one (which comes with video of the process....yippeee!!), How to make a Pai Fala

If there was an Academy Awards for the most Exciting Blog, this one has my vote! (Tiau muchos)

O le Tulafale, The Orator

2011-10-05T15:11:00.000-10:00

Kiwis, don't forget, The Orator comes to a cinema near you TODAY!!!

Like their Facebook page and check out where the film is screened near you under "Info" or just do a good ol' google search in your city (:

Check out this raving review by the New Zealand Herald.

Watch the TV3 review by Kate Rodgers here.

Just...GO and watch it with your family and friends....hundreds of coconuts around the world envy us for having access to this Academy Award nominated film, so milk it while we can!

Lastly, keep an indigenous actor alive today and NO illegal copying.

Manuia outou matua ae ola matou le fanau soifu.

When you have everything and it means nothing, ungrateful sod.

2011-10-05T12:58:00.000-10:00

So, I have this relative.
(And at this point, I'm hoping that that relation will never read my blog....nor will my cousin CG recognise this relation and put her foot innit and say something like "oi, o oe la laga fa'akakau i ai le blog a Goddess a").

well, anyhow, like i said, I have this relative.

Bloody brilliant mind. So brilliant that as a youngest, he was the pride and joy of the family, village, church, district, from Falealupo to Manono Island to Asau Forest and back.
Anyhow, his brilliance was noticed by visiting teachers, ...palagis from like, overseas places like Amerika!!! wow! lol.
Every time I got home, his mother would boast " Eh! these palagis from Utah were saying he is really brilliant and should go to like, a special school and stuff, he just needs a sponsor... oka se poko!"

With this brilliance came the adoration any parent would have of their child, they doted over him, revelled in his success, pardoned him from feaus, got him 'whatever' he wanted, even momma busted their nonexistent bank account at CCK to buy a puuurtty ofu for the prizegivings.
Then came the year that mattered, and instead of doing well....he fecked it up so bad that he didn't even secure a pass in most subjects.
Yes, this is the boy wonder that was the pride and joy of the indigenous nation.
Now, I've moaned about this before, and I will do it again because instead of the boy dealing with consequences, his parents pat his back and IGNORE the problem.
They naturally enrol him into another programme, and instead of learning from his mistake, he continues like before, hanging with his friends, camping on FB with his snazzy phone and being supported financially by others. Naturally.
Every time he is told off or people (rightly) are sick of his shit, he get all dramatic and says suicidal things...the first time I saw this, I panicked, I thought, "OMG, you can't do that! we love you! don't be stupid!"
So we continued to cottonwool him and because we didn't want him to jump off a cliff, no one would tell him off, or be mean to him, ...everyone was too scared to tell him the truth because no one wants blood on their hands.
No one.
And so the suicidal threats continue, yet more pleas for sympathy and attention.
And it angers me, because he had the world at his feet, the whole fekking family and everything one could ask, and he screwed it up.
Spoilt rotten to a fault.
What sickens me is his parents FAILURE to deal with him, to talk to him even! Can't they see the monster they have created? Are they so proud that they choose to live in his past glories and refuse to face reality?
I ask, again and again, at what point do you stop in your tracks and say "wow, I'm raising a child that can't distinquish cause and consequence, can't admit failure and fails to even try".

The Moral of the story: Eh, kailo se, e sao ai le kala foi lele, e ese a le poko ia ae a le lava le faaukauka, ia, ga'o le U.F.A. le mea e maua.

Over and under.

To'a mai le tai Samoa e...Hold your horses please

2011-10-03T14:15:00.000-10:00

So, in the aftermath of this Rugby World Cup, we still have much to be appreciative for, our team played their hearts out and gave it their all ~~(bar one Pantene model).~~
But at the same time, our loss has exposed a weakness about us, our people, that we are all too familiar with.
Once upon a time, our people used to win with pride and lose with a lot of dignity, faamatalii'ness and a basketful of wisdom.
Now, we are reduced to a nation of sore losers and whiners because of the incompetence and ignorance of a few.
Once upon a time, we gathered in humility and discussed our losses, now we bitch and moan on social networks and so go low as to threaten the ref and say things that would have gotten you a salu lima across your facials from your mother.

Don't get me wrong...Gawd, I too am hurting about those unjust decisions, but what am I going to achieve by being a dumbass on facebook? How is my online threats going to make IRB change? (IRB change? hah! nice joke Goddess).

Yup - this RWC is exposing that weakness we all know, the fia ai kae vale disorder.

Oi aue i le mala ua tele.

Well done Manu Samoa!

2011-09-30T09:41:00.000-10:00

wow - that game last night - was amazing.
who cares that we didn't win, we gave South Africa a run for their Bokke and my God.....Lemi, Lemi, Lemi....you are My Man! Faasavalu, Williams,...what the hell...you are all MY winners !!!!

Ua faafetai ua faafetai, ua malie mata i vaai, Manu Samoa, malo le tau o le taua.

Other priceless moments:
Habana dropping his nuts.

I also am sooooo impressed with the team at Digicel Samoa who pledged $7000 towards Tuilagi's mouthguard fine.
John Campbell raised the remainder in a sausage sizzle with NOSH supermarket, Ponsy, and people generously gave $20, $50, even $350 for a sausage., well, for Samoa.
Good stuff...Campbell is totally getting a matai title when he goes to Safotulafai, haha!

So yes, lots of winners but we all know who the LOSERS are in this tournament.
Those wankers at IRB.
And another to join them is the effing Ref - for some shoddy decisions and especially for red carding Williams....fai mai e a Michael Jones "That was just a gentle push" bahaha.

I reckon Samoa and every other nations who feels hard done by, BOYCOTTS the tournament next time.

Anyway, Malo Manu, malo le tapuai Samoa!

2011-09-25T13:54:00.000-10:00

Thinking of you Nyds xx

Conversations in this household

2011-09-22T11:49:00.000-11:00

J:Whose the Tongan in the Canadian team?
F:No, hes in Japan, not Canada.
J:Oh...wipe the snot off the boys face,
F:NZ would wanna lose coz thats the easy way forward
J:Yeah, but they cant lose to a substandard French side.
F:Maeva go look after the boy
M:But Im hungry!
FJ: Cant you wait till halftime!!!!!
M:But Mom! I'm really really hungry!
...goes to the kitchen and helps herself to the kekesaiga.
F: Can you get me one too?
J: Wow - that controversial Samoan player is gay.
F: So, he's not the first. pass the kekesaiga please.

Samoa vs Wales this is not about the rugby post

2011-09-21T14:29:00.003-11:00

...hmmmm, i really have little interest in talking about the game aye, I don't know why.
Its not really because we lost, or because Tasesa played for Wales or that Eliota got his panties in a twist or that Tuilagi didnt get much ball.

It's just that, well - its gone....build a bridge and get under it boys. lol.

But lets get onto the good things about the game:

1. The pride in both team supporters,...seeing my piece of shit town painted in vibrant island and welsh colours. Seeing my neighbours who don't even acknowledge me, come out in BLUE and RED to cheer my team and then giving me apple pie on Tuesday morning to say sorry we lost!!

2. The National Anthem that made me cry, because it was sooooooo beautiful. what a makagaga guy!

3. Seeing many people I have not seen in years, travelling from everywhere to cheer the team on.

4. Us gettin' more airtime than the team thanks to my 'ahem - loud' headgear.

5. Looking across the field and seeing 2 equally crazy large tuigas rocking from side to side - EVEN when Wales was winning, lol....go Chi Chi and Lisa! I burned my fingers for a good cause. Thank you.

6. Having the Pusalalau delegation grace us with their formidable presence. auuuuu Isa! lol

7. Knowing that for MOST of the players, they gave that game their all, and some more. And I am still proud of their determination.

8. Eh, that's enough! this positive shit is giving me a headache.

In other world news:
-Tuifiti has 3 teeth coming through all at once, so he has been a bit of a whinger like his father. Thank you Bonjela!
-MM was sick for 2 weeks, so she was on antibiotics that wasn't working, so Frenchy took her to A&E and got a stronger one, Curam - by next morning, her whole body had flared up and was reacting to the new one....so thank god, we rushed back and get her off it, shes fine again. No more augmentin for missie here.
- Am back to work (only 3 days a week) next week and Tuif goes to same daycare as MM...I think ALL of my pay will go to his daycare costs....epic fail.

fa laia and FAAMALOSI MANU SAMOA!!!!

The moment the van pulled in and Hamilton was never the same,...welcoming them with a very fitting banner, haha

The Ladies and Hen before the game, ...kalofa e i gai kagaka behind them, lol

Lastly, Chi chi who we were able to see from across the field, and most likely visible from the Space station......love it.

Finally a photo of ALL the 5 pusalalaus (lol) with their "hats" fai mai ai le palagi...and Hen's dead chicken. Photo belongs to Ulalei the bringcess of Europe. Thanks for the rental.

Once again, the tuigas made it onto some form of media, we were in 3 different parts of the field and yet we all got snapped out....seki a!

Samoa Namibia and trip to Rotovegas and back

2011-09-14T22:38:00.000-11:00

Amazing atmosphere.
Great way to start the tournament.
Samoans from all over NZ converged in Rotorua and my God, what a wonderful feeling.

Telesa, the book you will want to get after reading this.

2011-09-10T23:59:00.001-11:00

You know how you come up with questions you want to ask an author but don't?
...Mainly because they come from somewhere far far away like Cornwall, Ontario or Timbuktu?

Or, because they're, like...dead, since the book you borrowed from the Nelson Library is 50 years old?

Then you're gettin' a treat today: I have had the honour of asking Lani Wendt-Young some burning questions about her exciting new book, Telesā:The Covenant Keeper.

The book that will now be on your #1 MUST BUY item between now and Christmas...(no pressure!)

Enjoy (:

1. What's the best thing about being an author?
Being able to do what I love. All day. Every day. (Well, in between trying to be nice to my children.)

2. When you’re not writing/making soap/raising 5 children/baking/being a Domestic Goddess, what else do you do?
When you list it all like that, I feel quite tired just reading it…I read a lot. I start a new diet every other week. I force myself to go to the gym and then look for excuses to leave early. I watch ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ fanatically. I do a lot of family history research – I’ve compiled ancestor charts for both me and the Hot Man’s families, going back twelve generations. Heck, I could write ten books just on all our scandalous family stories alone.

3. What books have influenced your life the most?

As a kid, I basically lived in Narnia. Climbed into wardrobes everywhere looking for a way in to C.S Lewis’ world. Those were the books that first enthralled me, made me want to be a writer and create worlds just like Lewis did.

4. If you had the choice to get rid of that screaming red and yellow SAMCO uniform, what would you replace it with?
You’d have to be very brave to try and get rid of that uniform… Shorts and a plain t-shirt. Cool and comfortable. But all the boys who look like Daniel should have to go shirtless. (Mandatory uniform rule.)

5. Is there a student from your teaching days that you think of when you’re writing your Telesā characters?
This question could get me into trouble… yes, most definitely. A lot of the book takes place at Samoa College and as I wrote, so many of my ex-students would come to mind. As a teacher, I always remember the really ulavale students, the super naughty ones. Usually they were boys. I’ve taken pieces, fragments of different students and blended them into my characters. The character of Maleko in the book is a classic example of the funny, outgoing and fia-bad student that I would often come across. There’s always at least one in every year. Oh, and who hasn’t had the misfortune to know a beautiful bitchy girl in high school? I made sure there was one of those in the book too.

6. What are your plans for the future?
Lots of writing. I’m trying to finish Book Two in the Telesā series so I’m chasing a deadline with that one. I have a collection of my short stories coming out in December, ‘A True Samoan Woman.’ I also have a chick-lit comic-romance novel that I’ve started and whenever I hit a wall with Telesā I turn to that. All my ex-students need to be VERY afraid because they just might see themselves in that book! It’s about a first year English teacher who goes to teach at a private school in Samoa. It charts her struggles with her bossy mother, with cheeky senior students that stalk her at the V-Bar and of course, there’s romance with a fabulous man. ( or two.) I’ve already met the main male lead in my mind… he’s the quiet, unassuming, computer wiz type. The best friend who you totally flip out over at the end of the book when you ‘accidentally’ fall in love with him, he takes his shirt off and you suddenly realize…damn this ‘geek’ is a total BABE!

7. What are the challenges of being a new writer and a Samoan woman writer?
1.Building my audience. Writing experts say that you shouldn’t cross genres but I’m not very good with following rules…My first book was narrative non-fiction. Serious stuff. My second is YA fantasy romance. My third will be a chick-lit comedy novel. Three very different kinds of book with very different audiences which can be tricky.

2. Coping with fear. Worrying what people will think of me when I let them into my imagination. Having the confidence to write the kind of books that I enjoy and not give in to the inner critic that tells me I should be writing ‘Great Pacific Literature’ full of deeply philosophical meaning…

8. In a perfect world, if you could have your choice of any ‘celebrity’ model for the book cover, who would you choose?
I would choose Ezra Taylor again. He’s Samoan, beautifully and faithfully in love with his wife, articulate, intelligent, committed to hard work to further his sporting career, tattooed in all the right places. And of course he makes great eye candy. Does that not fit Daniel perfectly?! There’s another male lead in the Telesā book though, called Jason. Mmmm, very manaia… And I would give up Diet Coke forever if Ryan Reynolds acted the part of Jason in a Hollywood movie of Telesā !

9. What was it like to write the schmexy scenes? Where did you find the inspiration? (:
Ah yes, the oh-so-schmexy love scenes…sigh… I wish they could have been ‘schmexier’! LOL But

I was writing Young Adult fiction and not erotica. The schmexy bits were the easiest ones to write actually. I think everyone can remember what first love feels like. That thrill the first time that a boy holds your hand. Asks you out. The way his smile would be enough to make your day light up with color and wonder. And of course your first kiss. *Everybody sigh here* I was fortunate to have some great memories to draw on of my own ‘first love’ experiences so that was a big help with writing the romance in Telesā.

9. Telesa is considered sacred to some families in Samoa. Do you anticipate any negative feedback from them?
I would hope that people can accept Telesā for what it is – complete fiction. There’s a disclaimer at the front of the book stating that I am not an expert on Samoan culture/mythology/traditions etc and everything in the book is a result of a very overactive imagination. I respect that telesā is sacred to many but the women I describe in my book and their supernatural powers, are nothing like any of the legends or family histories portray. Having said that, I’m still planning to go into hiding in my hermit cave when Telesā launches in Samoa! (Just to be on the safe side.)
Thank you for having me visit your blog! I am your biggest blog stalker.

Telesā:The Covenant Keeper by Lani Wendt Young is available for purchase and download in all electronic formats from Smashwords For those with a Kindle Application, it is also available from Amazon. Price: $5.99

The print version of Telesā:The Covenant Keeper will launch in Apia, Samoa in October.

Telesa, The Convenant Keeper...a MUST READ!

2011-09-10T01:45:00.000-11:00

Yay!!!
Today is the online launch of Lani Wendt-Young's book, Telesā: The Covenant Keeper.

A Young Adult urban fantasy romance set in modern day Samoa that draws on the legends of teine Sa (but with a huge amount of creative license and imagination.) It's a novel filled with action, intrigue, elements of the supernatural and some romance thrown in for good measure. It's available for electronic download in a variety of formats from two online bookstores, Smashwords and Amazon priced at $5.99. The print copy of the book will be launched in Samoa in October and will also be available for purchase via Amazon.com.

You can download the first few chapters of the book as a free sample from either online bookstore.
You can read more about Lani's amazing writing and the Telesa book at her blog: http://sleeplessinsamoa.blogspot.com/
More updates can also be found on Facebook and Twitter

France vs Japan tonight.

2011-09-10T01:38:00.000-11:00

It. Was. Awesome.

This is an example of how very organised we are in this household (Not).
We decided yesterday arvo that we were going to watch France-Japan. Frenchy booked the tickets, our friends Nad and Phil hopped onboard and Ang in AKL called to say she was in, this morning.
So we had everything sorted.
I was up at 7am (on a Saturday morning) to draw our banner, make some hairpieces, look for some ofus to wear and look for some fishnet stockings.
Aue kafefe e i le mala ua tele,
At 10am, I remembered something,...THE CHILDREN!
I forgot to arrange who to leave the children with. Bad mother! Penalty!
Thankfully, this is when my years of bailing others out came rushing back.
20 minutes later of frantic calls, I had Stella and co. ready to adopt MM for the weekend and for the rest of the day, I was fielding calls from friends and two aunties in AKL to take the neglected boy. Plus my darling friend JCH insisted we brough himon the way. At this point, I am grateful for having such amazing, loving people in our lives....especially on days like these, when I'm too busy glue-ing hairpieces and being the selfish cow that I am....eh, we can't all be Superwomen!
Anyhow, we dashed off at 2:45pm - arrived in Botany at 4:15, dropped off Tuif with Aunty An and off to Grey Lynn to pick up the supermodela.
2 minutes to her house, the fuggen cops pulls us over, and before he could lecture the driver, we told him we were in a rush, just write the infringment notice already and we'll be on our way.
I'm more convinced he stopped us coz it was a French frog driving, with a Bokk on the pax seat. That is a crime right now. hah!
anyway, i'm loading pix tomorrow, too tired.
But lets just say, that game 'atmosphere' was amazing. Everyone was in good spirits, singing, just good times. Indescribable. The stuff of legends (:
The end.
Manuia le Po.

The RSE scheme, the real unedited version.

2011-09-07T18:32:00.000-11:00

So Nyds just posted a song about a real life experience of an RSEr...or rather, the RSEr's partner...hilarious stuff!...the stuff you wont find in ANY report, choohooo!

Check it out

last shots of the holiday before i forget about it altogether

2011-09-07T18:12:00.000-11:00

She doesn't remember the Eiffle tower much, just the playground next to it, of course

Yup, she gets her clownface from somewhere

Am I pricking my finger yet? Now? ...On the way to Eiffle Tower

Faaleaga aka o le moimimi lea!

O le Tulafale, The Orator

2011-09-06T23:09:00.000-11:00

I know its rugby epidemic right now, but if you live in New Zealand, then I strongly suggest you save this date:

6th October to watch 'The Orator, O le Tulafale' by Tusi Tamasese (and may I name drop and fia falealili fua right over here and say...he is a Waikato graduate :-)

Now, now, IF you don't live in NZ or perhaps you do and you are about to email me asking for a copy of the DVD, may I direct you to the newly introduced copyrights laws in your country, lol.
~~This is not Broken Promises B grade so to speak.~~
This is a world class film, recently screened at the Venice Film Festival....so definitely NO to gettin' a DVD from your custen brada's nephews sister's second custen.

If this doen't make your spine tingle, then I don't know what will....maybe a late tackle?

choohooo...

Manuia faasausauga o le afiafi (:

Miss Samoa whaa?

2011-09-04T13:29:00.000-11:00

eh...Miss Samoa pageant, forgot all about it, thanks to the rugby epidemic.
sadly, only 6 girls competing again....organisers need to recruit more girls in future to make it interesting.
Link to Miss Samoa Pageant hardly updated website

And as for Miss Samoa NZ not participating...oh puhlease...organisers -I don't understand why they're asking to be treated different and be hoisted on a 'spethial' pedestal in Samoa....my message is this: "Focus on getting respect from the Samoan community in NZ before jumping to Samoa and wanting a separate kaavale keukeu....get the girl to have more involvement IN NZ and grow the pageant so that it includes the rest of NZ, not just Auckland...argh...eh,...anyway, all the best everybody!
And the never updated Miss Samoa NZ page

10 minutes start now!

2011-08-31T11:18:00.000-11:00

I'm in the library, using their computers because our internet isn't fixed yet.
So.
I have 10 minutes and then the bums and the school drop outs take my place to surf the web, play online games and just be bums...shets....here I am doing meaningful work ~~(Blogging)~~ and they have nothing better to do with their lives...Isa!

anyhow, ...oka, just wasted a minute on negative thoughts....

The whole place, the telly, the jokes, the conversations, the shops, what the heck, everything reeks of RUGBY right now....its RUGBY mania. I am now truly praying for the ABs to win because this nation are bending over backwards for them...if they lose, everyone who played and Graham Henry should be tied to some goal posts and dropped to the bottom of the viaduct.
Anyway, good luck.

I'm seriously eyeing up that Samoa vs Namibia game in Rotovegas....email me jtiatia@gmail.com if anyone is keen on going, $61 pp for good seats, or reignite your uni days and get the $31 seats....c'mon!!!

k, manuia le aso,...

my 10 minutes is up, fraggen damn shoot.

Fly away home

2011-08-28T13:51:00.000-11:00

We are home.
26 hours later and we still have two children ~~and I have not strangled either.~~
Phew.
In fact, they were A.Mazing.
Paris to Seoul was a dream!
The boy only woke up from his bassinet to play, pee and get slapped accidently in the face by MM but otherwise, he was an amazing traveller...smiling, and happily downing his milk, both from the source and formula.
I am totally not adopting him out now.
MM was simply glued to the cartoons, games and whatever other kiddie gadgets provided by Korean Airlines.
From Seoul to Auckland, Tuif decided it was a bit uneventful being a two shoes goodie goodie angel. He spat the dummy (really) and stayed awake for 3 hours. Otherwise, he was good. Nothing Pamol couldn't handle....and if it was gonna get worse, I had Phenegan, Weleda teething powder and Magasia on standby.
As we descended into cold, dreary Auckland, I couldn't help but feel contempt for this cold place.
What we were doing here anyway?
Both our families are in way warmer sunny places...what the fuck are we doing here???
And just to drag me deeper into my post-holiday blues depressive disorder, we drive past Manukau and all I was seeing wee people in trackpants and jandals...c'mon people, dress up for f*cks sake!!?
Argh.
But then....we were home...where the neglected garden has spawled a life of its own, strewn with dead leaves, coarse grass and cat shit dotting the sandpit.
The orange tree had born fruit that nobody bothered to pick and now rotting in the damn untended soil.
The house was icy cold. But only for a few minutes while we churned the heat pump on tropical heat and turn on the water heater. Slowly, but calmly, we were getting back into home mode.
Our own place in this world.
Our own pillows, towels, ~~and washing to fold~~ trusty couch.
Okay, maybe the internet has been disconnected, and the bread has gotten past mouldy and is now a living and thriving bacterial united nations...but my God, isn't it good to make your own bed and lie in it too.
Ahhhh...bliss.
Home sweet home.

The kaea parts

2011-08-25T11:46:00.000-11:00

Seeing how many hate messages i am getting from my loving family and friends because i am on holiday, I thought that tonight's post will be about the arsey bits that you never get to read or see in photographic momentos/facebook, coconut wireless etc.
We are 4 people with different interests and physical abilities,
Me- ~~lazy~~laid back, likes food, shopping (with some& savignon blanc, prefers to plan ahead.
Frenchy-Sporty, likes adventure, plans on the day, 'we'll be right' attitude.
MM-only interested in playgrounds and not thrilled about walking. Fights with Frenchy a lot.
Le Tuif: oi kafefe, we forgot to feed him! Laid back baby who likes his pacifier and gets bullied by MM.

Those above things make just a walk down the road a fascinating french movie where everyone wants to kill off all the other characters, including themselves.

EG: This morning, Frenchy wanted to go to the Eiffle Tower to show MM.
We have done this several times already (and its littered with tourists and hawkers), so I suggested we go to Galleria Laffayette (lol) and then a carousel for the primadonna at the Luxembourg Gardens then 10 minutes walk back to hotel.
But no, Frenchy insisted.
So we walked to the Eiffle Tower. I stopped him and showed him the fecking tower in the 'far' distance and suggested taking the Metro there....but no, he insisted we walked it......me, him, MM and the baby in the cheap travel stroller we bought at Carrefour...dude, it was a friggin' long walk in the hot sun.
Then he got angry at MM for being a whinger....i mean, how ungrateful of her to whine when she is getting the chance to walk 1.5 hours in the heat to that strange structure.
We made it in the end, with lots of fallouts in between.
Thankfully, there are large playgrounds all around Paris, and really good safe ones near the Tower. I parked the stroller in the shade, started eating while Frenchy and MM head off to play. Next moment, she runs back "Fia pi!!" I tell Frenchy the toilets are walk across the park (5 minutesish) and while i focus on my rock melon...i see them back at the swings. I called out to MM if she went and she casually 'yelled' back, "Papa said the toilet is too far, so i peed in the bushes"
nevermind that all the people around us are giving us unfriendly glances.

And if that glimpse into the shitty part of this trip isn't enough, I am happy to tell you more...
- Like 15 hours in traffic from Verona to Genoa
- Having to wash your kids clothes in other peoples homes, wash basins, buckets et during the trip because you forgot their gear in Marseille.
- Being under the same roof as your TOLT (Tina o le tamaloa) who tends to 'own' your baby when he's smilin and then 'Pass the Ball' back when it screams.
- Most of all, the shittiest part is that all this is coming to an end and soon we will be on a loooooong 26 hours flight (with a pathetic 1 hour stop in Seoul) home, with my Frenchy, MM and baby screaming for a feed.

Yup, the grass is not always greener on the other side (:

midnight meanderings

2011-08-22T12:35:00.000-11:00

its late at night, the children sleeping and the adults are talking in hushed tones over wine and brie.
at this point in time, i don't know what the feck i'm going to blog about.
its just that, the laptop is here, and we are just reeeeraaaxing...
I need to be angry, or overly excited, or very sad to churn out a good flow of words...tonight, not so much.

so,....bear with me...as i ponder what the heck to say..hmmm...how about sports?

Rugby? we won but totally not important to me at the moment, too busy to care but i will when i return and when it really matters. ps: lemme know if you want a tuiga to wear for the rugby games in NZ...good plices for you, vedy nice. check out the ones i did for the 3 stooges in HKG sevens....am happy to tailor to your needs, even a rugby ball on your forehead is possible, heh.

Soccer: Is bigger than anything else here. Next.

Women's rugby: Yesterday, we were in the countryside, (next to Toulon where my ex Sonny Bill WIlliams lived:). We were invited by Frenchy's friends from his rugby days. 3 brothers who build a nice house overlooking the valley, and they built a pool on the ceiling, so that you look down onto the valley...nice. anyhow, one of the wives is 7 months preggos...tall, slim and ggggooorgeous and used to play rugby for France! one of those preggos where its JUST the tummy showing, everything else is normal...lucky cow!

Petangue: Originated from here, so everyone gets out their balls in the evenings and plays. And have a drink of Pastis. ov course.

Hotscotch/Musa: I attempted to teach MM how to musa when we were in Serre Chevalier. She is a bit of a fiapoko though, and keeps correcting me on how to do the game I'm teaching her.

Lami: OMG, my siblings, mom, aunties and I used to stay awake over cups of tea and coffee playing Lami with the cards. And then I found that my nephews here play it too.....so we were at it in the evenings. Without Aunty Aniva's loudness and CJ's attempts to cheat...heh.

Dinosaurs and Tigers: MM likes to play with Tuif, by scaring him with the dinosaur and tiger...he laughs so hard he cries. And then she repeats process until he just: Cries.

Swimmming: we go tomorrow for the last time ...but it won't be a sport.

tbc...

Sex tape....so what.

2011-08-22T11:55:00.000-11:00

All this kerfuffle about a sex tape of a young woman pleasuring herself (see Coconut Girl & Stella for the story behind the 'behind the scene' story) to me, is like a storm in a teacup.

Especially knowing of an ANZ recently ex employee who has been doing it for a while now, who saves images of her vafrufru on her phone and sends it to her ~~married man ov course~~ male friend....along with a much more xxxrated scene from one of their sessions...when her husband is away for work.

Storm in a teacup i tell ya,...*yawns*

Milano sights

2011-08-20T12:15:00.001-11:00

OMJ and Tauilagi were waiting for us in Mondsee, so we planned the trip so that we could stop in Milan on the way.

It was 3 hours from the starting point and a place both Frenchy and I were keen on.....coz back in my modelling days, this was where most of my fashion shows were held at...so naturally, I wanted to come have coffee with my friends at Prada and Uncle Dior (...auuuuu, aikakae!)

No, truth is, I needed to go to Milan to score a bag. That's all.

Not in the high streets or the snotty shops of the Galleria Emmanuelle but the outlet shops that should the previous season stuff for up to 70% off.

(Can you tell I'm on a budget?)

We arrived at midday. Sieasta in any self respecting Italian (or Spanish city) is the one time you DO NOT go shopping....coz the whole place takes a 3 hour break. These shets don't muck around with siesta...it is serious business....but on the bright side, it was therefore less busy in the center.

We did your stock standard touristy things, posing at the Cathedral, the Teatro Di Scala, the grand and one of the oldest mallsin th world, (Galleria Emmanuelle II)...then we footed it to the outlets.

Oh...and pizza was as you'd expect out Italy: delectably great.

Milan was fun, but then my mammaries started getting ...engorged....like, really really bad.
Rock hard kiga bad, ...to the point where I wanted to snatch the baby from the table next to us and feed it with my painful developments. Ouch. On the way out of Milan, I ignored the passing cars, dug out the manual breast pump and away I went - mobile milk delivery muchness?

leaving my bebe behind

2011-08-20T11:58:00.000-11:00

We left the Tuif with the outlaws in Serre Chevalier.
Then we hopped in TOLT's car and drove to Austria, with a stop in Milano.
That was straight foward enough. Right?
Aile.
I gave my sleeping boy a quiet kiss in the early morning....then 20 minutes later, while we passed by Briancon, I saw a baby in the next car and I just bursted into tears...really really badly. How fecking selfish am I to leave my son like this?! Anything could happen ): and then MM woke up and cried too....for no reason at all.
Argh - I wanted to turn around and take him with us....but Frenchy insisted we continued.
Thankfully Mayoune texted us to say he was fine, smashing the full bottle and very happy.
It was only then that I could really enjoy myself, but it just felt awkward not having my little man attached to my hip, or my tit for that matter.

Last Night in the Alps.

2011-08-15T12:26:00.001-11:00

Last night then we are off to Austria, going through Italy tomorrow.
Its been an amazingly refreshing 10 days here, for us big people and especially for the children of the forest. heh.
Each day has been an adventure. Into the nearby lakes, rivers, fields, villages, villas and everything else.
The food has been a highligh for me, and my muffin tops will attest to that.
Like all well-meaning french people, they don't muck around with their meals....its a time to shut down anything work related and focus on....food, drink and good company.
every day.
I'm loving this place all over again.
On a sad note, we are leaving the youngest member of the traveling party with the TORT while we do the trip becuase its a bit much for the poor wee man.
We'll miss our boy but it'll only be a few days!

....k, gonna get back to my google researchng of milan and finding outlet bargains....soooo helpe me Godde..puhleeasuh!

Father's Day today, apparently.

2011-08-14T04:01:00.000-11:00

To all the fathers who look after their children, happy father's day.
(The rest I hope are miserable. arseholes.)

But onto positive thoughts: My father has long left this earth, long long ago.
So, I don't have to stress about gifts and cards and telling him I love him on this day.
So in an effort to associate myself with this non event day in moi loife, I shall grasp the moment and be fia falealili fua with those who are celebrating this day genuinely...
...by claiming some of following characters as my own father, because they were, and remain in my heart, the father I never got to call my very own.

1. My uncle Loli Satuu Tiatia Aloaina, who stepped in to be there for us when my old man packed his knapsack and headed for beer heaven. I am grateful to Satuu for teaching me about the value of hard work and respect. For keeping me grounded in the only way he knew, by slapping my face to the ground when I didn't come first in class. Grounded we are, and always will be.
His love of music made us memorise the Beatles lyrics long before we could stumble through "Our Father".
He instilled in us a yearning for excellence, because failure meant one thing: cleaning the toilets and picking up the fallen leaves from every tree he could think of from gatai to the pig sty. Simply put, he reminded us of what a shitty life it would be if we didn't study hard.
2. Dr. Leilua Faalii Aloaina, who - to this day reminds me I will always be a child. Until I tell him (again) I was married and he would look at me with shock, disdain and then the questions. In fact, Leilua is also convinced my mother is still 17. He used to call us at Lalovaea or Safua and do what we call "The Leilua Q and A". (the sessions that my brother Lale and sister CJ used to pull the phone off the wall for).
He is famous for being the caller that demands loudly "O ai lea ei le kelefogi?" followed by:
"O a kou mea o fai?" "O fea lou kiga?" "Oi! Ua sau le koeiga?" "E alu lou kiga i le maliu o....(fill in the dotted line)...ending with a 'Se, lou alelo!" And then he would arrive an hour later and ask all the same questions. And still be shocked with the responses.
But laughs aside, Leilua is someone I admire because he doesn't give a shit..about what people think (Much to his wife's absolute disgust).
Leilua is someone I can have a great conversation with, even in high school, when no one gave a damn what crass teens were saying. He listened, and he celebrated our small achievements. Always. I love him for that.
Sometimes, all you need is someone to stop and listen, and agree and tell you that your teacher is a indeed a pogaua.
Or that your uncle is a piece of shit. Or that you shouldn't care about others because you are the alo o Tuifiti and Taaloaalagi and whatever matai title was being contested at Tuasivi Lands and Titles Courts at the time.
3. Anthony Hopkins. Because he looks like a cool father type. And sometimes I wish I had a dad that could have come to school and kill the bullies and make couture dresses from their skins. Yes, I am weird. Thank You. You're welcome.
4. Our faifeau, Solomona. Because even though I have utter disgust for the riches of the church and its disregard for its struggling congregation, he let's me voice my frustrations and then shows me the extension to the house he decided to add, again.
Because he is open minded to criticism and doesn't fa'apa'u my ekalesia for my disrespect for the Ekalesia Faapotopotoga Kerisiano Samoa. He is also a peacemaker in our 3 sub-villages in times of disagreement (and there are plenty).
I respect him for being able to survive in the village since 1978 where most people didn't know how to spell their names and their idea of progress was stealing their neighbours maumaga.I love that he puts disorderly fools in their place by hopping on his quad bike and heading to the culprits homes and beating them senseless in front of their parents.
I respect him for strengthening our village and instilling the values of respect, faith and forbidding intermarriages within our villages (incestruous fakkas). He is also inspiring others to lose weight though early dawn jazz in front of the falesa followed by a hearty serving of koko alaisa..heh. Yes, our faifeau is cool that!

5. Poppa Jeff, who took me to RSA when I was 15 and gave me bourbon and coke because he's a cool old fart like that. I thank him for buying me a secndhand tv when I was at Uni. And who says very little because Nana Evo says everything for him. He is a cool guy like that. Cheers Jeff. Now chop that Heineken!

6. I really want to say Geoff Hoddinot here but I know he will be so offended at beng considered a old man. So I won't....coz he's around our age anyway. Duh!
Okay, I'm scratching the bo'om of the akoako here, so I wish all responsible fathers an awesome day.

The RSE study got a wee mention (:

2011-08-13T21:49:00.000-11:00

meaning that ...yay! now more than 5 people have read that chic's research...or rather, snippets of it.

Impacts of the Recognied Sasonal Employer Scheme on the Labour Force in Rural Samoa: A Pilot Study: undertaking a preliminary exploration of the effects of such a scheme on the labour force in Samoa.

Espadrilles

2011-08-13T21:39:00.002-11:00

So the whole time we've been here, I have been scouring the shops for a nice pair of espadrilles, because its this area when it started and the new ones are ....stunners. I failed. Everything was bloody dear. Nothing less than 70 euro...well, there were but not nice.
Well, today in Briancon, Mayoune and I found a quaint wee shop that exported them to the boutique shops in Milan, Florida, NewYork and Tokyo...the lady was vedy nice and said she had excess pairs from a cancelled order ...so I got a delectable pair for 15 euro baby....wooohoooo!
ahhhh-small victories are worth telling, especially for those with little monero (:

the journey pans way way out and I am slowly seeing the end

2011-08-13T21:31:00.002-11:00

Pardon the absence,
We have left the big hot smoke and headed for the Alpes (Serre Chevalier).
After basking in the heat the first 4 weeks, I was beginning to get "over" Marseille and waking up to the same view of Chateau D'if (and I can see Ulalei and Nets going: You ungrateful bitch you, merci beau...pu)
On our last night, I took the tamariki and went to the only other Samoan I know's house for a sleepover.
She made us....OKA! and it just took me straight back to Lalomalover on a Sunday afternoon.
Great stuff!
So between us, we have 4 littlies, 3 coconut froggy girls and 1 polo.
Great fun having a tak fest over oka, rose, and everything in between - stopping every now and then to yell and reprimand the little frenchies in the only way they know:
"E po ou maka? Moemimimi!"
Next day, we head off to have lunch, and we inhaled pizza because they make it sooooo good here.
BAck at home, TORT was deliriously panicking because we did not pack a thing despite leaving the house for a good 3 weeks.
Early Monday morning, we chucked the littlies in the car and off we drove,...or rather, off Frenchie drove while we three resumed sleeping.
One toilet stop and 3 hours later, we were at the chalet, the air had cooled, and that icky summer heat had dissipated.....fresh, crisp and wow - now I appreciate why half the people we know migrate here in the summer.
The others have been here for 2 weeks now. We got the big room. Next to a small stream and gorgeous views of the mountains....with a bit of snow coating the summit....vedy nice.

ANyhow, each day has been an adventure. We pack our bags with food and off we go to a lake or river nearby, with the kids in tow. Despite eating tons since being here, we have done walks everywhere...we would park the cars in one small village and then walk along the river to the next.(to eat crepes:)
At the lake, we stopped at one end then spent the afternoon walking, picking berries and champignons for dinner.
The kids are permanently outside, and it is fantastic because they are totally low on batteries when we return to the chalet....except, the Maeva who is still wide awake at 11pm - oh my god I want to strangle her, she had been a royal pain in the evenings.
Today's picnic was up at the highest point in Serre Chevalier. We took the ski lifts up while some (crazy Fredo and 3 friends) biked to the summit. Crazy fakkas I tell ya.
Tuif has been an absolute stunner that boy...no whinning, no dramas...just crusising, very laka to everyone (BIG FAT LIKE)....except this morning when he was a bit feverish....nothing pamol, boobie and sleep can't fix. One hopes (:

k, ....on the plus size, having no internet meant I did lots of writing in word docs and modifying pics and deleting unnecesary ones bu more importantly, having no need for internet at all......at all...wow, i love it.

sorry for the blabbering, i'm not putting much thought in this so maybe check back in a month when I am back home (:

Boob Job

2011-08-07T09:21:00.000-11:00

For the last few weeks, we (me, Frenchy and the TIna O le Tamaloa, now called Tolt) have been working towards weaning my son off my amazing breastmilk.
(Sorry latecomers, this blogger is usually overdozed with overconfidence :)
This is so that we could travel without Tuifiti.
It all sounds simple but it is not.
The boy was adamant that his mama's supply is best (smart kid i tell ya!)
At the same time, we are moving around a lot, kaa kaa solo a lot and not much time to fully do a routine.
Last week, as I laid in bed at 3am breastfeeding him discreetly, I realised dragging my boy through Milan-Mondsee and back was going to ruin my holiday experience.
So I decided to commit to the bottle challenge.
Each time he was due for a feed, I expressed and stored in the fridge.
Frenchy or Tolt were then able to give him the bottle.
All went well, he is now able to latch correctly and all in regular periods.
Last nite, we went to my samoan friend here, along with my bag of sterilisers, breast pumps, tubs of milk, suckers and all thngs milky.
Frenhy wnt to watch Mrseille vs Schaux - ~~and get high with his rugby mates like back in 1963, lol.~~
Anyhow, as I am sitting in my friend's house, the Tuif cries.
My natural instinct takes over and I flip out my right, to which the Tuif immediately suctions.
I only click AFTER the feed that I should'a given him the bottle. But ah well. Too bad.
Now he is well used to the bottle, I feel a bit sad, ...so I tell the Tolt this evening that the night feed will be from the source.
She shakes her head disgustedly and I walk off uncaringly.
I am NOT prepared to surrender my breastfeeding time with my boy. I can't explain it properly but I love the connection we have and therefore, I will resume milk production from here on.
Thank you for your coming.
manuia le vaiaso

the holiday so far...

2011-08-06T01:26:00.000-11:00

~~Con~~Foberence
Last week was an adventure in itself, with plenty of island flavours converged in the South of Falagi for the Inargural Samoa Women's Convention on the Rights of the Manu Samoa's RWC campaign strategy..really, just go to Ulalei's blog for the outcomes of this Convention, heh.
Oh, and my bestie from uni, Kav was a guest presenter at this meeting.

At Notre Dame de la Garde...(but Pai had to return to work and Mele had to prep for another trip)

Welcoming the Shuffling Fijian at St Charles....Marseille is never the same after her arrival, (:

Every now and then, I remembered the children

Aside from the breeeediful keo, this is the few moments when we had Geneva decorations, thankz Ulalei ...lol

VIP Corner...auuuuuu, Isa!

First Lunch at Nani's

the panipopos from Madam Nets of DXB...made with love and prenty coconut cream

A healthy Samoan lunch, Siufaga Gourmet Sapasui and Arice, with coke. very Samoan indeed.

One more day in Marseille before we head off to Serre Chevalier for 8 days and then off to Austria.
We are gonna drive to Milan, have a lookie around and onto Mondsee - we're leaving Tuifiti with Nani Jacqui and take MMoelagi this time.
Speaking of Tuif, he is now on the bottle - two feeds per day from my expressed goodness and two from modicre formula. This is to prepare him for the separation while we kaakaa to Italy/Austria.
He prefers Mama's milk, because he told me himself....(yeah coz my 6 month old now talks and cooks for himself, right-:o).

food

2011-07-27T05:41:00.000-11:00

Auoi ka fefe e.

I am eating like a pig, and it is NOT on.

Every morning since being here, I have been eating madeleine cakes for breakfast.

This arvo, I was feeling a bit lethargic, so I went to the kitchen to make a healthy snack and ate ...another 2!

Then danettes for lunch....I LOVE the vanilla flavour and I have been opening it for MM, knowing full well she is not interested...so I inhale it instead.

I know, I'm a pig.

who cares,..

I'm on holiday.

heh

sorry, we've been a bit busy

2011-07-25T12:18:00.000-11:00

...exploring, meeting friends and families, eating and forgetting to get on felatusi and to update my poloka.

Being here this long is so cool because we are tooootally laxed out, sleeping in, catching up with friends and family when we feel like it...and best of all, leaving the smalls at home with the TIna O le tamaloa. (Hereby called Tio:)

We spent the day again at an exclusive spot for say, people who are not very poor. Our salaries combined is probably the cost of one lady's handbag (actually, maybe her handbag is handmade by the finest artisans in Milano, so ..hmmm, another compariosn mayb).
Anyhow, we get to go there because of my husbran's brother and co, not because of us....nooooooo way!
Every time I lay down my book and spread out my towel by the pool, among bronzed fakkas, a voice screams in my head:
"DAMN IT....MONEY CAN TOTALLY BUY HAPPINESS!! Whoever disagrees is a broke as bitch!"
MM is in love with the place, ...hmmm, sister, better enjoy it coz you'll be back in Teorongoniushitol Te Rapa next month!

Tio leaves to go North with her peva tomorrow, leaving the house to us ....to await the grand arrival of the komiti tumama a Sineva, Siufaga ma Moataa, and possibly two more including my bestie from my uni, another coconut from Fiji....5 more sleeps (:

My uncle Lealali

2011-07-22T12:44:00.002-11:00

He died when I was in Year 7.
I loved him more than I loved anyone else in the world.
And so did every other child in our world.
Lealali was a Sunday school teacher, a faafafine, a tiakono, a fai pese, a story teller, a florist, an uncle and every child's friend.
Even now, my inner child goes back to the early mornings, watching Lealali sitting faagape vae with his akoako of red, samasama and sometimes pink aute.
His old weathered hands moving slowly to stick three, sometimes four autes into long tuanius until he was surrounded with an array of glorious colours.
He'd placed these into jars of sand.
On some days, we were called over to discover an aute with six petals.
Or two autes that have opened up together.
But the call we all looked forward to, is one where he saved the ripest mangoes for the earliest riser.
What a reward that was, eating a sweet juicy mango.
It was even more rewarding with a envious audience of CJ,Lan,Mex,Di,Fa'i,Nave,Neil and Lagi.
Who'd all be cursing and hoping that you will choke and die at the first bite.
We were a feaiga'i lot. This much is true. Much to our mother's dismay.
But Lealali had a way with us.
He was quiet. He had a smile on his face.
He understood us in a way no other grown up did.
He had no children of his own, but most of the children in the family became his to raise. And love.
I miss him now.
Now that I have children of my own.
Who will be their childhood heroes?
Who will be the Lealali for them.
He taught me how to make a pale, using the fibres of the auke branch as string.
But he did more, he made me break many a branches so I could see which was the best.
He had a rule about flowers. We had to use every single one we picked.
He taught me about being resourceful with the trees and flowers around us, ...oh the possibilities.
But the evening,
The evening was Lealali's realm,
After the alisi have cried, after the pigs and children were fed and after the hymns were sung.
When all was quiet and calm in the village,
Under our Grandma's roof, we'd be setting up our mattresses in a perfect row,
We would be fighting (again) to be nearest to Lealali and Faleasiu,
But not too close that she would whack you with her ili.
We lived for their shared fagogo,
Like one that started with Leutogitupaitea in Falealupo. When she is banished into Pulotu, the underworld. But when she re-emerges into this world, she finds herself amidst a large expanse of lava, in all directions (Aue).
Just lava all around and a clear blue sky.
Leutogitupaitea stands for a moment... and in the distance, she hears a beat, a drum...
Wait...it is getting closer!
Auoi! There in the distance is a moving object,
Large, square, alien, obscene and strange.
Leutogitupaitea turns to run but she cannot.
She is frozen time, frozen and unable to dodge,
the advance of the Ai Ai Ava.
Bus.

Stop and listen to your elders, they may have a hilarious fagogo to tell.

Cuers

2011-07-20T13:18:00.001-11:00

Spent the day in Cuers today with the usual suspects,.
Kids had loads of fun climbing trees, playing petangue, dirtying clothes, near drowning each other, watering plants and fighting each other in the dust while playing petangue.
Eh, ka'i kele.
This visit reminded me of my crazy awesome preediful 3 siblings CJ, Mex and Leigh who were here with Hilary last time. Sob, I miss them. ~~For about 30 seconds then I went back to my yummy melon.~~
I was looking forward to Mex and Tau coming as well this time round but they're now staying back ): ): ):
We'll see each other soon enough I'm sure.

I was selfishly hoping Mex and Tau would come so someone else would be answering the gazillion questions about the members of my family these guys have met before. I have break it to MM in the morning that her fight club cousin isn't coming now ):

so heres some pics of Cuers for you guys who went there last time, and for the others to know what im korero'ing about:

2011-07-19T11:54:00.000-11:00

I have been living a little bit too much reality in the last few days, I was beginning to neglect my alter ego online.
How dare I?!

There are some things that tick me off about this culture, but also others that leaves me exclaiming:
"Why the hell don't we do this at home? or in Samoa?"

1. When we visit friends, family or vice versa, everyone, and I mean EVERYONE embrace and kiss each other. Even. Staunch. Stocky. Blokes. With. Balls.
It is such a humane act, one that I cannot imagine my uncle doing if he was to run into his cousin down the vai kaele. he would rather be shot and be left bleeding to death.

2. After the said embrace, this region kicks off with an apéro of rose, pastis and munchies from the area. This is great because by the time we eat, we'd have been grazing already. Again, I can picture my revered aunty Aniva wondering why there's only decorations on the table and being pissed off about waiting for ages for a real meal. Hah.

3. Carrefour: I want a Carrefour in NZ!!!! It is sooo much better than ANYTHING we have there!

4. Small trusty cars, less carbon in the atmosphere, better quality, cheaper to run more compact and people don't care that thet don't drive a huge petrol guzzler that they'll spend the next 5 years paying off.

5. Salads are consumed AFTER the meal, Always, so that you have ZERO choice but to swallow what's been dumped on your plate.

6. July Sales: OMG - the sales are out of this world!

But, they could learn from us by doing these things:

7. Add more fasi pua'a to the menu.

8. Marseille drivers are something else. They don't just think they own the road. They actually do! It is utter Anarchy when we are driving. And worse, because if you are the poor sod wanting to stick to the speedlimit and wait at the chaotic intersection for an opening to merge, you will be roasted with angry expressions and horns tooting. Thankfully, they see Frenchy at the wheel and behave because majority of the males are puny skinny mini dudes.

9. Continuing from above, I get so upset at the French sometimes. The men to be exact. I have seen some gorgeous faces and tall builds but they are small fakkas. I am bigger than many of them. Which is quite upsetting. And to make it worse, for those with a slight advantage over the rest, they think they are ultra hot. But I can totally knock their petit lights out. Easily. I wish they would take some mor e...eh, whatever, some taro and more kaleve mamoe to beef them up. For my ~~pervert~~ viewing pleasure.

K, sorry, have run out of things to say,...I keep getting disturbed, 4 blokes playing petangue under the tree and its midnight. crazy fakkas.

Get off the grass!

2011-07-17T23:17:00.000-11:00

The celebrations were just as fervent in Auckland, where former Samoa captain Peter Fatialofa said: "I don't usually drink on Sunday, but I think I'm going to have one to celebrate."

New Zealand Herald

well said mate, well said....chi ching!

The red sunset after the rain this evening

2011-07-17T13:28:00.002-11:00

guku oso

2011-07-17T13:13:00.000-11:00

MM: I'm really really cross with you mum...you didn't bring my togs and you're not letting me swim.

Me:    ...we'll come after lunch if its sunny (yeah right).
MM: Huh, I'm cross with daddy too,..and Mamoune too... I dont like you all!"
Me:    Don't forget, I can smack you in France, theres no antismacking law in France my luv.
MM: But I tell you to my teacher at kindy when we get back to new zealand!huh!"
          ...okay moimimi, you win.

Victory and my faith renewed...auuuuu~!

2011-07-17T13:09:00.001-11:00

After the Manu's victory this Sunday morning, I decided the Lord - who I have been distant from lately, truly gave a damn. Really. I love you.

And so woke up my sleeping familia to get ready for church.
MM's was like "why are we going to church today mum?"
hah - mauad le le masagi.

Anyhow- it was great because this was the same place we got married, and the old priest is still there. Just.
He's lost his marbles a wee bit but he did remember me.
I mean, hello - how many other ~~gorgeous~~ Samoans has he met? None ov course. (okay, he did think i was Tahitian, but whose checking anyway).

MM was a devil reincarnate in church and I had to sit her next to her great granma, a staunch no bullshit type of mama who lives and breathes the Catholic faith.

But aue Malia e, MM was running circles around her....i was very close to whacking her with the old lady's cane like the trusty Lalomalava ladies.
At least the service was only 45 minutes.
We drove around to faakafao her and then ended up having lunch at the beach.
There I was being fia agelu and asking for lemonade and she ordered the waiter to get her some fine whiskey on the rocks.
I love the woman already....so I switched to something more potent meself.
"Oh what a beautiful moooorning!!!"
Thank you Manu Samoa,...you have renewed my faith...win us the World Cup and I'll truly give up my life of sin and check into a convent. True story.

Body Shock

2011-07-16T02:04:00.000-11:00

Coming from the busy metropolitan city of Lalomalava, baring your shoulders in public is a despicable act.
So much that our falekua will stand you up in front of the 300 sunday schoolers and accuse you of having impure thoughts about boys and their ding dongs.
Even before you started thinking about ding dongs.
Then, there's more.
She will use "you" as an example to the 300 sunday schoolers of a girl with impure thoughts about boys and their ding dongs.
"Ia, vaai ia Fotu ua ova le tautalaititi ma le fa'aalialiina o tauau i le falesa! Oka! Ua alu tele lona mafaufau i tama la e feoai solo i le auala...auuuu, Isa!"
Frankly, it didn't bother me.
It made me tick sometimes, especially when church was a wonderful catwalk to showcase ones gorgeous dress (right after the kakalo amaka, when everyone was seated, pugi laia).
It even made me want to rebel because I was a piece of crap like that as a teenager. (moment of truth).
I decided being stood up in front of the aoga asosa was okay (more engaged audience) and being used as an example was fine (setting the fashion standards auuu, ufa!)
I didn't care then, I dont care now.
At the end of the day, clothes don't define me, ....but my God, doesn't it just lift ones spirit!
...and so, you may ask, why am I talking about this shit now?
well, because i wanted a prelude to my blog entry today, but as usual, I got completely sidetracked.
So let's start afresh.

Tits and All
We're in the South of France. I accept that. Its hot, dry and the beach is a relaxing place to be. But there is no, no, no place for a woman of 72 to bare her leathery wringled remains of breasts for the world to see. No. Way. Jose.
It took me 3 visits to the beach to get used to this again...women freely hanging their homeware like its nothing. I know, I'm a museum artifact like that, I like my breasts covered, hidden, packed and sometimes grilled, but no to boobfest in the sand. Please.
Which brings me to another 'body shock'.
My koa2's momma had a new padu'i. E sau mai le North o Falagi. E fai siga lapo'a o le mayjar.
Well, every mornng since he's been here, e ala a'e i le taeao, savali mai i fafo o le la poku ma le underwear.
WTF....this is NEVER acceptable unless you are really really schexy.
Now I am tempted to say "Isa!"

k, photos to come......this century.

Winning but I can't comment!

2011-07-15T09:37:00.000-11:00

I just spent ages commenting on Sleepless' blog...AGAIN, and nothing works!!!! c'mon blogger!
anyhow, just wanted to say,....I won her competition ~~(2 winners but really I'm~~
~~THE real winner, i bet the other was a consolation prize...lol).~~
Thank you Lani Wendt Young,...i am looking forward to the COCONUT QUEEN INDULGENT SET fit for a Goddess...chooohooooo!!

The only reason I'm looking forward to returning home....Faafetai lava!!!

ps, can you please hold onto it till Aug when I'm back, and please feel free to throw in some cookies lying qround, heh:

Fagogo mai Samoa,...aue!

Warning, DO NOT USE THIS Scholarship scheme PIPEF

Free riding in Samoa: accessing the Salani waves

Extreme Measures

Romantic phone conversation with Frenchy on Valentines Day

Packed and ready to roll..over

Is it just me or anyone else getting spammed with

Tuapou Talalelei Lefua Sene

Manu Samoa

Back breaking stuff

wohhooooo, Samoan population has tripled overnight

Teenagers today

Rif raf Update

awkward doesn't begin to explain it.

O le Tulafale fia poto ma le Tulafale e lava le tofa

Stowaway

Happy Dragon Balls

hmmm, Friday is nice

i-kae

What I love about Samoa!

My aunty Flower

The three Kolilas

Damn you Dora

Fun activity for Samoan kids outside of Samoa, who own a banana tree (:

Haast was a blast!

2012 so what.

O le Tulafale, The Orator

the things that matter, really

Easy recipe, sure!

Telesa Launch in Auckland !!!

Tuilaepa was right

Le Ulugalii fou

Le au Se'i faga

Move over Chef Ramsay ....oi suga e...

Not being childish or anything but...

today in our lives

Statement of the day

Misbehaving rugby brats

Chilli Dogs

Macabre

Scholarships Deadlines

Screwed by association

Ground breaking achievement

I've deactivated again

Samoan names

Halloweeennn who does that??

joyous sunday in the sun

Blow your own trumpet!

Applying to be the Manu Samoa Team Manager

oh what a week!

The Orator and the Doctor

Yes - It shall be a really good week (:

Eliota's hearing is this morning

Is Pity the new black tonight?

Phone calls I hate

nothing like a punch in the gut to bring ones day dddooooown!

Getting ready for Lotu Tamaiti

Going home during lunch break

Panipopo Fix

O le Tulafale, The Orator

When you have everything and it means nothing, ungrateful sod.

To'a mai le tai Samoa e...Hold your horses please

Well done Manu Samoa!

Conversations in this household

Samoa vs Wales *this is not about the rugby* post

Samoa Namibia and trip to Rotovegas and back

Telesa, the book you will want to get after reading this.

Telesa, The Convenant Keeper...a MUST READ!

France vs Japan tonight.

The RSE scheme, the real unedited version.

last shots of the holiday before i forget about it altogether

O le Tulafale, The Orator

Miss Samoa whaa?

10 minutes start now!

Fly away home

The kaea parts

midnight meanderings

Sex tape....so what.

Milano sights

leaving my bebe behind

Samoa vs Wales this is not about the rugby post